Top 39 Funny James Patterson Quotes

#1. Educating the masses was intended only to improve the relationship between the top and the bottom of society. Not for changing the nature of the relationship.

John Ralston Saul

Funny James Patterson Quotes #10298
#2. Everything that fails brings you closer to what works.

J.K. Rowling

Funny James Patterson Quotes #117179
#3. A classroom . People trying to stick me in classrooms was becoming as predictable and annoying as people trying to kill me, but with less-fun results.

James Patterson

Funny James Patterson Quotes #188947
#4. Behind every successful woman, there's a big prick.

James Patterson

Funny James Patterson Quotes #233277
#5. Never underestimate the power of funny, it moves mountains.

James Patterson

Funny James Patterson Quotes #317375
#6. I want to do it too!" said Gazzy, sitting very, very quietly, completely motionless.
"Nope," said Nudge, shaking her head. "You stand out like a fart in church.

James Patterson

Funny James Patterson Quotes #343133
#7. I don't get a chance to be funny with the thrillers. I like to be funny, and I think I am really funny. So with 'Middle School: The Worst Years of My Life', it was fun to let loose.

James Patterson

Funny James Patterson Quotes #432275
#8. Like every girl, we don't talk about our surgeries.

Candis Cayne

Funny James Patterson Quotes #467165
#9. Never wish to be somebody. You never know what they are made up of.

Lailah Gifty Akita

Funny James Patterson Quotes #512966
#10. It's a civil war, and Arjuna knows a lot of people who are on the opposite side of the battlefield - they've been his friends.

Frederick Lenz

Funny James Patterson Quotes #577280
#11. Iggy. This is not a democracy," I said,( ... )"It's
a Maxocracy.

James Patterson

Funny James Patterson Quotes #578376
#12. I'm way hot," he muttered. "But I don't feel sick. Just - way hot."
Fang

James Patterson

Funny James Patterson Quotes #635864
#13. My choices were to either give in and let them kill all of us or fight back with everything I had. I chose the second one, 'cause I'm just funny that way.

James Patterson

Funny James Patterson Quotes #645664
#14. And it was so still. The silence of the fields seemed to enter and move familiarly through the house. The wind used the open hall. He felt that he was in a mysterious, quiet, cool danger. It was necessary to do what? ... to talk.
("Death Of A Traveling Salesman")

Eudora Welty

Funny James Patterson Quotes #663181
#15. Isn't it funny how just changing your location changes your perspective?

James Patterson

Funny James Patterson Quotes #793123
#16. However far-reaching one's visions or ideas, one must start from where one is.

Marty Rubin

Funny James Patterson Quotes #832274
#17. me in bed - with a honeymoon present. Some of them were small, some were funny jokes, and some were extravagant, but every present came straight

James Patterson

Funny James Patterson Quotes #869314
#18. Not saving you from this storm, mutant," he said. "Saving you for your later fate, we are."
His voice was weirdly inflected and metallic, like an automated answering machine.
"Oh, good. Yoda captured us," Fang whispered.

James Patterson

Funny James Patterson Quotes #895071
#19. And the story of love is a long sad tale ending in graves.

Jack Kerouac

Funny James Patterson Quotes #968972
#20. If you're ever feeling a lack of middle-aged white men, just pop into the Capitol. Not so much the House of Representatives, which has a bit more color and texture, but the Senate
jeez. Yes, let's have more testosterone running the country.
Maximum Ride, School's Out
Forever

James Patterson

Funny James Patterson Quotes #1058046
#21. It's funny how different people are. If I'd been this kid and someone was snarling "Ordering a pizza?" at me, without even thinking, I would have snarled back "Yeah. You want pepperoni?"
-Maximum Ride

James Patterson

Funny James Patterson Quotes #1066829
#22. In the 1970s, I identified as a lesbian and wrote about it. In 1991, I met the love of my life, married him.

Chirlane McCray

Funny James Patterson Quotes #1220144
#23. The Church is the place where the incompetent, the unfinished, and even the unhealthy are welcome. I believe Jesus agrees.

Mike Yaconelli

Funny James Patterson Quotes #1279844
#24. Can I come in?
No! I'm in a towel!
I'm blind!

James Patterson

Funny James Patterson Quotes #1301902
#25. Dear God," said Nudge under her breath, "I want real parents. But I want them to want me too. I want
them to love me. I already love them. Please see what you can do. Thanks very much. Love, Nudge."
Okay, so I'm not saying we were pros at this or anything. (Max thoughts)

James Patterson

Funny James Patterson Quotes #1317102
#26. Develop wisdom in sales by reflecting on your experience, and learning everything you can from every call.

Brian Tracy

Funny James Patterson Quotes #1329970
#27. I love Nudge, Nudge is a great kid, but that motormouth of hers could
have turned Mother Teresa into an ax murderer

James Patterson

Funny James Patterson Quotes #1340174
#28. A lot of times, it's easy to trim the movie 'cause you just start losing things that you thought would be there just for amusement's sake that actually are not funny. My favorite part of the process is seeing it with an audience. I do about eight previews to see how things are working.

Judd Apatow

Funny James Patterson Quotes #1374834
#29. They call me, The Sharkalator

James Patterson

Funny James Patterson Quotes #1396390
#30. Glaring at the Gasman, ter Borcht said, "Your time is coming to an end, you
pathetic failure of an experiment. Vhat you say now is how you vill be
remembered."
Gazzy's blue eyes flashed. "Then you can remember me telling you to kiss
my-"
"Enough!" ter Borcht said.

James Patterson

Funny James Patterson Quotes #1445082
#31. So you have your price. Your soul for a cookie.

James Patterson

Funny James Patterson Quotes #1460063
#32. Is that clear?" said Borcht "as clear as pea soup" I said

James Patterson

Funny James Patterson Quotes #1595073
#33. Reth looked exasperated. "When is something ever not wrong in your life?"
I frowned. "That's my line.

Kiersten White

Funny James Patterson Quotes #1613526
#34. Once you eliminate quality as a requirement, the entire design process becomes a whole lot easier.

Jared Spool

Funny James Patterson Quotes #1614356
#35. What?" says Kosgrov. "You think I won't lay you out just because you're stuck in a wheelchair, funny boy?" "Yeah," I say. "Pretty much." Turns out I'm pretty wrong.

James Patterson

Funny James Patterson Quotes #1639604
#36. What's so funny 'bout peace, love, and world destruction?

James Patterson

Funny James Patterson Quotes #1672117
#37. What did that stupid deserting crap-bag ex-boyfriend, ex-best friend with the most perfect stupid hair do? He DIDN'T delete his crap off the desktop before he fled my life and left me all alone. That's what he did.

James Patterson

Funny James Patterson Quotes #1747209
#38. The funny thing about facing imminent death is that it really snaps everything else into perspective.

James Patterson

Funny James Patterson Quotes #1793469
#39. He nuzzled my neck, inhaling deeply. "Mmm. You smell so good."

"Oh, yeah," I said, smirking. "I call this new perfume 'Le Jungle grime et tropical BO.' "

"Dirt and sweat. Very sexy.

James Patterson

Funny James Patterson Quotes #1865512

Famous Authors

Popular Topics

Scroll to Top