Funny If Lost Famous Quotes & Sayings

List of top 54 famous quotes and sayings about funny if lost to read and share with friends on your Facebook, Twitter, blogs.

Top 54 Funny If Lost Sayings

#1. You even used to make up funny stories about those poor little lost creatures of yours. Remember Bob, the squirrel banker who forgot to pay his electric bill so he froze to death? - Author: Kimberly Derting
Funny If Lost Sayings #810819
#2. I don't think it's any coincidence that I lost my religious faith and 'manned up' in the same year. I was described somewhere as a lapsed Catholic, which is funny because I'm not going back! I want to achieve things rather than live life in an animalistic way. - Author: Jimmy Carr
Funny If Lost Sayings #571463
#3. Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life. - Author: Brooke Shields
Funny If Lost Sayings #622635
#4. Dan moans behind me, reminding her of the problem. She straightens in fear at the sound of his voice, peers over my shoulder at the chunk of bloody beef that is Dan Sikorsky. She looks slowly from him to me. "What did you do?" I duck my head, embarrassed. "I sort of lost my temper. - Author: Jasinda Wilder
Funny If Lost Sayings #655124
#5. Pie throwing is kind of a lost art, and although it may be a rather rudimentary, burlesque humor, there's something inherently funny about taking a pie in the face, under the right conditions. - Author: Johnny Carson
Funny If Lost Sayings #659175
#6. I love the script and I just thought it was a great role. Like I say, it's like this - the script is like this sad, funny, desperate love song to the lost American man. - Author: Oliver Platt
Funny If Lost Sayings #679119
#7. Well, the bad news," Swedish said from the wheel, "is that Chess still thinks he's funny."
"What's the good news?" Loretta asked, leaning on our little copper-tubed harpoon. "That Kodoc dropped a bomb on the city? - Author: Joel N. Ross
Funny If Lost Sayings #705574
#8. Once when I was lost I asked a policeman to help me find my parents. I said to him, 'Do you think we'll ever find them?' He answered, 'I don't know, kid. There are so many places they can hide. - Author: Rodney Dangerfield
Funny If Lost Sayings #733676
#9. Her mouth set. "I've already lost one man I loved tonight. I will not lose the other." She glared at him. "And curse you, you stone head, for making me say it first. - Author: Patrick W. Carr
Funny If Lost Sayings #734305
#10. We're alive!" Swedish told her. "I did not see that coming. - Author: Joel N. Ross
Funny If Lost Sayings #754084
#11. Yeah, well. I don't try to be awesome. It just comes natural. - Author: Rick Riordan
Funny If Lost Sayings #758358
#12. Now you're listening to Swedish ?" I asked her. "He thinks I'm the Compass because every time I see ticktocks, I happen to be there! - Author: Joel N. Ross
Funny If Lost Sayings #767689
#13. As I walk through This wicked world Searchin' for light in the darkness of insanity, I ask myself Is all hope lost? Is there only pain and hatred, and misery? And each time I feel like this inside, There's one thing I wanna know: What's so funny 'bout Peace, Love, & Understanding? - Author: Elvis Costello
Funny If Lost Sayings #782971
#14. I had a Velcro wallet in a casino. That sound annoyed the hell out of me. Whenever I lost money, and I opened the wallet, it was like the sound of my addiction. - Author: Mitch Hedberg
Funny If Lost Sayings #793018
#15. I find anger to be funny. I find people that are so wrapped up in their own personalities to be funny, and lost. Like myself in real life. - Author: Zach Galifianakis
Funny If Lost Sayings #567057
#16. Instead of stocks investors should invest in blankets, that way they'll at least have something to keep them warm after they've lost all their money when the company goes under. - Author: Amy Summers
Funny If Lost Sayings #840733
#17. I'd find the fellow who lost it, and, if he was poor, I'd return it. - Author: Yogi Berra
Funny If Lost Sayings #861762
#18. The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory. - Author: Paul Fix
Funny If Lost Sayings #874517
#19. Another drunk goes up to a parking meter, puts in a quarter, the dial goes to 60. The drunk says, "Huh. I lost 100 pounds!" - Author: Henny Youngman
Funny If Lost Sayings #898417
#20. There is no path I follow. I feel as if I'm just drifting along, because although I can progress physically, through my training, mentally and spiritually I don't know what the hell I'm doing. It's like that car sticker: 'Don't follow me, I'm lost'. - Author: Steve Ovett
Funny If Lost Sayings #978865
#21. I've lost a million and a half on the horses and dice in the last two years. And the funny part is, I still like 'em, and if someone handed me another million I'd put it right in the nose
of some horse that looked good to me. - Author: Al Capone
Funny If Lost Sayings #1104966
#22. Smartass Disciple: Master, I don't need a fairytale.I need you to tell me the truth.
Master of Stupidity: It is not funny if you just found it. No drama if no lost at first. - Author: Toba Beta
Funny If Lost Sayings #1172614
#23. Are you okay?"
"Good," she said, "because if you fall off a skyscraper, I'll be so mad at you. - Author: Joel N. Ross
Funny If Lost Sayings #1347934
#24. I'd say I needed to find myself, if that didn't sound like I was heading into the Himalayas, taking only a backpack stuffed with angst and clean underwear. - Author: Kelley Armstrong
Funny If Lost Sayings #1542661
#25. If Chess is the switch," Loretta said, "how does he turn the Fog off?"

Bea bit her lower lip. "I don't know - ask Chess."
"How would I know?" I said. "You try being a switch. - Author: Joel N. Ross
Funny If Lost Sayings #1838154
#26. Boys," Lindsay agreed, nodding. "What doesn't get lost in translation?"
"Things with the letter X in front of them," Rachel posited. "Like X-Box. And X-rated movies. - Author: Nenia Campbell
Funny If Lost Sayings #1873183
#27. It's hard to get lost if you don't know where you're going. - Author: Jim Jarmusch
Funny If Lost Sayings #1875484
#28. Funny, how it took a little bit of pain to remember that certain parts of yourself were alive. - Author: Adi Alsaid
Funny If Lost Sayings #259518
#29. Did you ever notice they never take any fat hostages? You never see a guy coming out of Lebanon going: I was held hostage for seven months and I lost 175 pounds, I feel good and I look good and I learned self-discipline. That's the important thing. - Author: Denis Leary
Funny If Lost Sayings #27548
#30. I had a funny feeling as I saw the house disappear, as though I had written a poem and it was very good and I had lost it and would never remember it again. - Author: Raymond Chandler
Funny If Lost Sayings #67422
#31. Wolves never look more funny than when they have lost the scent and scrabble to find it again: they hop in the air; they run in circles, they plow up the ground with their noses ... - Author: Clarissa Pinkola Estes
Funny If Lost Sayings #74026
#32. I've never felt so bereft and panicky. What do I do without my phone? How do I function? My hand keeps automatically reaching for my phone in its usual place in my pocket. Every instinct in me wants to text someone, 'OMG, I've lost my phone! ' but how can do that without a bloody phone? - Author: Sophie Kinsella
Funny If Lost Sayings #90434
#33. Don't put your wand there, boy! ... Better wizards than you have lost buttocks, you know! - Author: J.K. Rowling
Funny If Lost Sayings #102114
#34. It's funny. You love something and one day it's suddenly gone or changed or lost forever. But somehow that doesn't stop your loving. Maybe that's how you know it's the real thing. - Author: Tony Parsons
Funny If Lost Sayings #131995
#35. I took my father on a coach trip last summer.We were halfway there when the driver lost control of the coach, it flew down a hill around a bend and crashed through a brick wall. I wasn't hurt but luckily my father had the presence of mind to kick my head in. - Author: Chic Murray
Funny If Lost Sayings #144814
#36. I know a guy who had his doctor say, "Take some weight off, go to a health club." The man lost 20 pounds in one week! The machine tore his leg off! - Author: Henny Youngman
Funny If Lost Sayings #159316
#37. We have North Shore, Hawaii and Lost all there, so they have softball tournaments between the casts. It's hilarious. - Author: Josh Holloway
Funny If Lost Sayings #172447
#38. His life was a constant war with insensate objects that fell apart, or attacked him, or refused to function, or viciously got themselves lost as soon as they entered the sphere of his existence. - Author: Vladimir Nabokov
Funny If Lost Sayings #189842
#39. A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and the hours are lost. She should go far. The sooner she starts, the better. The higher a monkey climbs, the more you see of its behind. - Author: Joseph Stilwell
Funny If Lost Sayings #231165
#40. Freud's theory was that when a joke opens a window and all those bats and bogeymen fly out, you get a marvellous feeling of relief and elation. The trouble with Freud is that he never had to play the old Glasgow Empire on a Saturday night after Rangers and Celtic had both lost. - Author: Ken Dodd
Funny If Lost Sayings #240334
#41. If you find yourself lost in the woods, build a house. "Well, I was lost, but now I live here!" - Author: Mitch Hedberg
Funny If Lost Sayings #246598
#42. I had a dream about you. You were lost in a daydream, when I walked in and you began screaming. But I know that could never actually happen. In real life I only enter people's nightmares. - Author: Bauvard
Funny If Lost Sayings #27418
#43. Deep inside, she knew who she was, and that person was smart and kind and often even
funny, but somehow her personality always got lost somewhere between her heart and her
mouth, and she found herself saying the wrong thing or, more often, nothing at all. - Author: Julia Quinn
Funny If Lost Sayings #296891
#44. Mussolini?" Leo frowned. "Wasn't he like BFFs with Hitler? - Author: Rick Riordan
Funny If Lost Sayings #304150
#45. The likelihood of getting lost is directly proportional to the number of times the direction-giver says, 'You can't miss it'. - Author: Hal Roach
Funny If Lost Sayings #304737
#46. Seriously, the Olympic badminton players were apparently trying to lose on purpose, a big story. But really, think about it, if you train day and night for four years to be in the Olympics for badminton, in a way, haven't you already lost? - Author: Conan O'Brien
Funny If Lost Sayings #322479
#47. People don't just appear on the beach unless they're demigods or gods or really, really lost pizza delivery guys. (It's happened - but that's another story.) - Author: Rick Riordan
Funny If Lost Sayings #342722
#48. It gets worse. Josh tell her that he loves her. She says it back. He touches her. She touches him back. And then they're losing their virginity on the floor of her bedroom beside her pet rabbit, Isis.
A rabbit.
Josh literally lost his virginity in front of a metaphor for sex. - Author: Stephanie Perkins
Funny If Lost Sayings #345766
#49. You know what to do?"
"Wander around," I said. "Until I spot a self-assembled whangdoodle from the Foggy depths. - Author: Joel N. Ross
Funny If Lost Sayings #351441
#50. It's hard to dance if you just lost your wallet. Whoa Where's my wallet But, hey this song is funky ... - Author: Mitch Hedberg
Funny If Lost Sayings #356495
#51. It's a funny thing, but it's often overlooked that I'm a huge devout lover of French cooking. I have the utmost respect for them, though they have lost their respect for me because they think the way I cook is nutty. - Author: Wylie Dufresne
Funny If Lost Sayings #414884
#52. Did you just call me 'sweetie'?" I asked.
She shoved my shoulder. "No. - Author: Joel N. Ross
Funny If Lost Sayings #416189
#53. Percy: I thought I'd lost my mom forever, and I was stuck on a hill in a thunderstorm fighting this huge bull dude while Grover was passed out wailing. "Food!" It was terrifying, man. - Author: Rick Riordan
Funny If Lost Sayings #442288
#54. I wish that someone had said to me that it's normal to feel lost for a little while. - Author: Ira Glass
Funny If Lost Sayings #532858

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