Funny I Don't Like You Famous Quotes & Sayings

List of top 100 famous quotes and sayings about funny i don't like you to read and share with friends on your Facebook, Twitter, blogs.

Top 100 Funny I Don't Like You Quotes

#1. It's funny when people say, 'I don't think Julia likes me.' Honey, if I don't like you, you're going to know about it. - Author: Julia L. Roberts
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#2. It's delicious,' he announces, chewing my sandwich. 'I would like to stay here forever and die with you in my arms.'
'I don't know. I think it's too cold for forever,' I say, smiling. - Author: Joanna Mazurkiewicz
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#3. You know how you just don't like guys on the other team sometimes? It's funny because growing up I loved Roger (Clemens), loved to watch Roger pitch. Then when I was first in the big leagues and he was for the other team, I hated him. - Author: Andy Pettitte
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#4. I do like any kind of project that has both comedy and drama in it because in life you don't have one day where everything is funny then the next day everything is dramatic. - Author: Topher Grace
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#5. If you look at a group of people that had faith, it's got to be the Jews. They followed Moses through the desert for 40 years with no map. There had to be one guy in the back, like, 'I don't think he knows where he's going.' - Author: Adam Ferrara
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#6. Last night I was seriously considering whether I was a bisexual or not but I don't think so though I'm not sure if I'd like to be and argh I don't think there's anything wrong with that, if you like a person, you like the person, not their genitals. - Author: Jess C. Scott
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#7. I dress like an old woman in my real life. If you're having conversations with people, you don't want them to remember you as the girl with the tits, You want them to pay attention to what you're saying - Author: Jennifer Lawrence
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#8. Everyone keeps saying, "Oh my God, oh my God, how intimidating." It's like saying, "How could you date Jennifer Aniston after she's been with Brad Pitt?" I don't care. - Author: Adam Carolla
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#9. I don't like you two going off on you won. Just remember: behave. If I hear about any funny business, I will ground you until the Styx freezes over. - Author: Rick Riordan
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#10. What are you doing?"
"I'm, uh, acting normal."
"No you're not. You're acting like someone pretending to be normal. Stop pretending and start acting, but don't act like you're not pretending, that'll make it worse. - Author: Derek Landy
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#11. I love actors, and I love the casting process. It's funny, like, some writers don't like actors because, I think, they are the faces of the show, and so you feel sort of secondary, but I love actors because they elevate the material; they make it better. - Author: Bryan Fuller
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#12. It was a JOB; the video show was a JOB; you don't tell the Aristocrats joke at 8 o'clock at night on network tv, it would be funny though. But those guys know I like dirty stuff, I like clean stuff too. - Author: Bob Saget
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#13. I don't like to channel surf. You guys like it, don't you. You guys like to change the channel. We like to change you. - Author: Wendy Liebman
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#14. You try to live straight in this crazy, crooked, mixed-up world - that's what's funny. You know what I mean?"
"I do, I do," I said.
"You don't even have to do anything especially funny. You just act normal. That alone looks strange and funny. Acting like that interests me. - Author: Haruki Murakami
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#15. But we don't do things like that!" said Vimes. "You can't go around arresting the Thieves' Guild. I mean, we'd be at it all day! - Author: Terry Pratchett
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#16. Sol? As much as I appreciate you making me this lovely womanly blanket ... you think we could try lying like normal people who don't want to merge into one being?"
"Can't have that. We'd make one gross merged being. Your ass and my ass together? The universe would run in terror. - Author: Charlotte Stein
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#17. I do know you're nothing like him. But you're still ... still a lot. A lot to handle. I don't mean your junk, obviously, as we've not gotten to the fondling-bits stage yet. And I can't believe I just talked about your junk. - Author: Nicole Peeler
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#18. That easy, confident grin returned. "Don't worry, it's easily forgotten."
"Well," I said huffily, "it shouldn't be that easily forgotten."
"Would you like it better if I say I'll eventually forget it but not without a great deal of struggle and torment?"
"Yes."
"Done. - Author: Richelle Mead
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#19. If you do bad stuff and don't repent, you go to hell," Orc said, like he was begging for a refutation.
"Yeah, well, you know what? If Howard's in hell, I guess we can all have a big get-together soon enough. a - Author: Michael Grant
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#20. I feel bad for people who have never been addicted to anything, because they're the real losers. You want to know why? Because they don't know what it's like to really want something - and then get it again and again and again. - Author: Marc Maron
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#21. People are often surprised that I am so upbeat. I'm always hearing, 'You're so light and funny, and your books are so dark and twisted.' There's a dichotomy. I like books that are dark and creepy. I don't control it - it's just what I gravitate toward. - Author: John Searles
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#22. You get to the end of something, you're laughing, you're like, 'That's funny, and that's funny,' and then you get to the end, and the credits come down, and you're like, 'That's it?! That's the whole thing?! You had me here for that?!' I just don't want to do that. - Author: Mike Birbiglia
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#23. You find out in life that people really like you funny. So what do you give 'em? Humor. And then if you show them the other side, they don't like you as much. I find, too, that I can hide behind the idiot's mask being funny, and you never see the sorrow or the pain. - Author: Terry Bradshaw
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#24. You ever mix two different groups of friends? That can be stressful. You always feel like you have to prep 'em. You're like, "These people over here, uh, they don't think I drink. And don't be thrown by my British accent." - Author: Jim Gaffigan
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#25. It's funny, though, because when I first started going to races after we met, I was extremely nervous. It's like being backstage and hoping you don't trip over something or break an amp or accidentally speak into a live microphone, so I was really hesitant. - Author: Ashley Judd
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#26. Everyone always says to me, 'Why aren't there more people of color on television?' I'm like, 'Why don't you ask a bunch of people who aren't putting people of color on television why there aren't more people of color on television?' - Author: Shonda Rhimes
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#27. I never have free time, I don't know about you. You ever go to the cash machine, there's two people in line in front of you and you get kinda flustered, you're like "Forget it! I'm not standing here for 40 seconds. I got things to do, okay?" - Author: Jim Gaffigan
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#28. You catch more flies with honey, ever heard of that?" He shrugged. "I don't like flies. They're annoying." He grinned "I'd rather catch hell. - Author: Heather Hildenbrand
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#29. Fine's a funny word, don't you think? I don't think there's another like it in the English language that says so much while actually saying so little. - Author: Emma Chase
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#30. My Dear McClellan, if you don't want to use the army I should like to borrow it for a while. Yours respectfully. - Author: Abraham Lincoln
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#31. It's so funny because a lot of times we'll have these discussions as writers, and you feel like you're having a discussion with your wife: 'I don't know. Are they ready to have another baby? Is it time? Well, she's not getting any younger.' - Author: Jason Katims
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#32. One of my biggest pet peeves is that I just don't like it when characters do things that are funny to the writer, but you don't know why they're doing it and it doesn't make any sense. - Author: Glenn Howerton
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#33. I am a teacher. Pay close attention - this will be on the test. You don't wreck buildings. You don't take children hostage. And you don't threaten people with violence. Okay class dismissed. Looks like you fail! - Author: Yoko
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#34. I like cats. They don't care if you love Jesus. - Author: Miss Merikan
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#35. And I would stop and take you in, all of you, and when our eyes lock we'd just stare into each other's souls and all of the lost time would come out in the shape of a big smile, a few tears and a tight hug that feels like ...
I don't know, it would feel like home. - Author: Morgan Parker
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#36. You know what's funny? I don't ever feel the need to escape. I have a strong marriage. I like my life. You hear about these guys having midlife crises - I don't see that happening to me. - Author: Harry Connick Jr.
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#37. And yet this is farther than I've ever fell; You know me much too well. Funny it don't feel like we just met. It didn't take much time. Forever's more than crossed my mind, and we haven't even said 'I love you' yet. - Author: Toby Keith
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#38. Oh gosh, it's moving! It's so gross! Can't you just, like, flex your butt or something?
Why, yes. Travis clenched his teeth. Why don't I just clench my butt muscles in hopes that it will shock the spider enough to crawl back into the hellhole it came out of? - Author: Rachel Van Dyken
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#39. I see some people with glasses here, I trust people with glasses, don't you? But if you're wearing your glasses like this ... "Get away from 'em!" - Author: Jim Gaffigan
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#40. The one thing I've found you really can't joke about - and people think it's death or something - is money. No one thinks it's funny, whether you have it or you don't. Money is just something no one seems to like joking about. - Author: Anthony Jeselnik
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#41. Okay ... My name is Ellie Mason and I have a feeling you don't like me."
Kylie stopped and swerved around ... "Okay, let's get something out in the open. I know you had sex with Derek."
"Damn!" Perry said, and grinned. "This is gonna be better than I thought. - Author: C.C. Hunter
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#42. Well, then, Otter, of course I don't like Bundt cake. It has eggs in it. Baby chicken eggs. You don't see chickens standing outside of maternity wards waiting to get our babies to make their Bundt cake, do you? - Author: T.J. Klune
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#43. Ever have that one friend who gets a Valentine's Day gift for their mother? Doens't that freak you out a little? It's like, 'I don't know how to break this to you but I think she's banging your dad!' - Author: Russ Meneve
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#44. Any instructions?" Carpenter said. "Yeah," Shane said. "Shoot anybody who looks at Agnes funny. And anybody else you don't like. I'm getting tired of this shi*." "Somebody needs a hug," Carpenter said. "Humor," Shane said. "Har. - Author: Jennifer Crusie
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#45. You're seventeen! Why do I have to keep reminding you of that? There are soooo many women you haven't even met yet! Don't act like you're tired of the puss-puss, no guy is ever tired of the puss-puss. - Author: Sara Wolf
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#46. He raised his hand in a peaceful gesture. "You need to relax a bit, dove. Like Mouse over there. You trust me, don't you, Mouse?"
"Nope!"
"Ahhh, I'm hurt. Nobody likes me. - Author: Ilona Andrews
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#47. Sexton: I think the whole world's gone mad.
Death: Uh-uh. It's always like this. You probably just don't get out enough. - Author: Neil Gaiman
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#48. People like light and silly, and they like stuff that's really energetic, and you get a character in a film bouncing around and screaming, people laugh. That's all it takes. I don't find that funny. To me, what's funny is dialogue and nuance of character and performance. - Author: Terry Zwigoff
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#49. Charlie?'
'Uh-huh?'
'Do you like me?'
'Uh-huh.'
'You know what I mean?'
'Uh-huh.'
'Are you nervous?'
'Uh-huh.'
'Don't be nervous.'
'Okay. - Author: Stephen Chbosky
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#50. You've got to have a likeability factor, I think, in your comedy characters. If the guy's really, really funny but you just don't like him or her, then you're never going to root for them. - Author: Rhys Darby
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#51. I'm not a facebook status you don't have to like me. - Author: Wiz Khalifa
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#52. I hate seeing people that look like you. Especially if God's living by the motto 'If at first you don't succeed.' - Author: Demetri Martin
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#53. You don't have to be afraid of me. Eugene likes you. Doc likes you. That means I like you. We're all family now. All the funny little people who live in the cracks of the world. - Author: Richard Kadrey
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#54. I don't like the whole blowing the candles out ritual ... blowing their germs all over the cake. If I want to catch something on my birthday. I don't want it to be from the cake. If you know what I'm saying ... - Author: Craig Ferguson
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#55. To this day, I've found that it doesn't matter what a guy looks like if he's really funny. His sense of humor makes him attractive. On the other hand, you don't hear men saying, 'No she's not pretty, but is she ever funny!' - Author: Catherine O'Hara
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#56. It's strange how interesting your dreams are, but when someone tries to tell you their dream you're just like "WHATEVER! Why don't you send me an e-mail so I can delete it?" - Author: Jim Gaffigan
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#57. As your abilities begin to grow, your angelic side will start to manifest itself in more noticeable ways."
"My angelic side. Great. Like I don't have enough to deal with."
"It's not so bad," Mom says. "You'll learn to control it."
"I'll learn to control my hair? - Author: Cynthia Hand
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#58. I ain't never seen a creature like that before, she says. He's so smart, he's-
More, like a person than a bird? I says.
Yeah, she says. That's it.
Whatever you do, I says, don't tell him that. I'll never hear the end of it. - Author: Moira Young
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#59. The funny thing about commercials to me is that many of them now don't even mention the product until the very end. You don't really know what the commercial is all about. They're kind of like little movies, like shorts, and that's why I think they're so entertaining. - Author: Kevin Nealon
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#60. I always surprise myself with my voice. A lot of people don't get it, and they're like, 'You can't sing. Stop. What are you doing?' And it's funny to hear a lot people say I sing in falsetto because it's not falsetto - that's my voice. - Author: Shamir
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#61. I like bowling. I suck at it, but I like it. You know what's so funny? I have days when I'm absolutely great at doing it, and then I have days when I just don't understand it. - Author: Lil' Kim
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#62. The funny thing is you oddly don't really say goodbye to all the characters you've played. There's like a chest of drawers in your head that you can always access. They're always around. I'm not sure if that's healthy. But they're all there. - Author: Johnny Depp
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#63. Movies these days have made killers into funny people. What's that all about? I've got kids and family and friends, and I don't like bad things. I don't think they're funny, and it's irresponsible to make movies that don't show you how that's not good. - Author: Billy Bob Thornton
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#64. Our foyer has a funny smell that doesn't smell like anyplace else. I don't know what the hell it is. It isn't cauliflower and it isn't perfume - I don't know what the hell it is - but you always know you're home. - Author: J.D. Salinger
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#65. I don't know about you, but when they first introduced bottled water, I thought it was so funny, I was like "Bottled water! Haha, they're selling bottled water! ... I guess I'll try it. Ah, this is good, this is more watery than water. Yeah, this has got a water kick to it." - Author: Jim Gaffigan
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#66. A Mormon told me that they don't drink coffee. I said, "A cup of coffee every day gives you wonderful benefits." He said, "Like what?" I said, "Well, it keeps you from being Mormon ... " - Author: Emo Philips
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#67. It's been very important throughout my career that I've met all the guys I've copied, because at each stage they've said, 'Don't play like me, play like you.' - Author: Eric Clapton
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#68. Nice costume," he said.
"Ditto. I can tell you put a lot of thought into yours."
Amusement curled his mouth. "If you don't like it, I can take it off. - Author: Becca Fitzpatrick
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#69. You don't like Blue, do you?"
"No," Mira said, caught off guard by the change of subject.
"I was worried he was doing his knight-in-tarnished-armor thing and it was winning you over. - Author: Sarah Cross
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#70. He's always asking: 'Is that new? I haven't seen that before.' It's like, Why don't you mind your own business? Solve world hunger. Get out of my closet. - Author: Michelle Obama
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#71. What I find relatively funny is that I'm not a model. I'm five foot six and a half; I have absolutely no dream or desire to be a model, I don't live for fashion. But when an opportunity comes your way very early in your career, like Burberry, you do it. - Author: Sophie Kennedy Clark
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#72. My apartment is infested with koala bears. It's the cutest infestation ever. Way better than cockroaches. When I turn on the light a bunch of koala bears scatter. But I don't want 'em to, you know, I'm like "Hey, hold on, fellas. Let me hold one of you. And feed you a leaf." - Author: Mitch Hedberg
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#73. I don't hate you.. I just don't like that you exist - Author: Gena Showalter
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#74. It's like when you're on hold and a recorded voice comes on telling you how much the company values you as a customer. Really? Then maybe you should hire some more support people so I don't have to wait thirty minutes to get help. - Author: Jason Fried
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#75. It's funny when I hear people complain - particularly about the most fabulous parts of being a designer, like when you're getting ready to work on a show. I don't even know that I'm tired. I could stay up for six days straight! No drugs, no coffee, no nothing. I'm just so excited. - Author: Michael Kors
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#76. It's really irritating. Even people who like my work sometimes come up to me and say, 'I usually don't like female comedians, but your material is great!' It makes the job prospect more daunting. Funny is funny, you know? - Author: Chelsea Peretti
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#77. You should stay and keep me company, so I don't get lonely."

"You don't seem like the type of guy who gets lonely."

"Is that a compliment or an insult?"

Analia only shrugged. - Author: Kiersten Fay
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#78. I like how you don't hide your problems like everyone else, and I don't have to hide mine when I'm around you. - Author: Ned Vizzini
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#79. I'm just looking for a little mystery in life ... like things you can't explain. Like, you go to Mexico, they tell you don't drink the water. You go to any diner here, who brings you the water? It's a mystery. - Author: Ted Alexandro
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#80. Get the point?" I asked, offering the boys a triumphant smile.
Gabriel, Zeb, and Dick stared at me, aghast.
"What? Sarcastic postkill comeback. Isn't that what you're supposed to do in situations like this?
Too harsh? - Author: Molly Harper
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#81. It's funny, our beauty standard has become harder and tougher because we live in a tough age. I don't think anyone wants to walk down the street and feel vulnerable. You want to walk down the street and feel like you're in control. - Author: Tom Ford
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#82. Everybody I know who is funny, it's in them. You can teach timing, or some people are able to tell a joke, though I don't like to tell jokes. But I think you have to be born with a sense of humor and a sense of timing. - Author: Carol Burnett
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#83. Will you promise to keep this to yourself, to not tell anyone of what we are? By his words you'd think he was giving me a choice. Like I could say,no deal, honey bunch, I'm off to shout your secret from the rooftops, and he'd be like, oh no please don't do that. In
reality, he'd have to kill me. - Author: L. H. Cosway
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#84. If drumsticks are for playing drums, you would think that breadsticks would be for playing bread, wouldn't you? "Would you like some breadsticks?" "No, thank you, I don't play bread. I play drums. Perhaps I'll have a drum roll." - Author: George Carlin
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#85. You have a funny way of showing how much you don't like me."
"I don't like gophers, either, but I wouldn't leave one to suffer. I'd shoot it to put it out of its misery. - Author: Rosemary Clement-Moore
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#86. Abby Von Normal - And I'm like, Don't change the subject, Kung Pao, what I want to know is if you're ready to spend some up-close and personal time with ninety pounds of barbarian woman-flesh! Sorry, I don't know how much that is in kilos. - Author: Christopher Moore
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#87. She's cute, I thought, but you don't need to like a girl who treats you like you're ten: You've already got a mom. - Author: John Green
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#88. Whenever you go out to eat you gotta get the appetizer. 'Cause the appetizer's just an excuse for an extra meal. You're always like "Lets see, I will start with the 80 buffalo wings ... and do you have a low-cal blue cheese? 'Cause I don't wanna fill up too much." - Author: Jim Gaffigan
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#89. What I don't like is when I see stuff that I know has had a lot of improv done or is playing around where there's no purpose to the scene other than to just be funny. What you don't want is funny scene, funny scene, funny scene, and now here's the epiphany scene and then the movie's over. - Author: Paul Feig
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#90. Word of advice, sister mine. If you want to keep your papers private, don't write 'Private' on the cover. It set the mater right off. It was all I could do to stop her sniffing around like some great sniffing thing. - Author: Lauren Willig
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#91. No, I don't like you, I just thought you were cute enough to kiss you. - Author: Frank Ocean
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#92. If I think of a joke that's really dirty and I think it's funny I'll try it but what I've found over the years is they just don't laugh. It doesn't work coming out of my mouth so it's like they taught me 'don't do that. Don't go that way or you'll lose me.' - Author: Demetri Martin
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#93. No matter how much makeup I wore, people just kept saying "Yes, sir! Would you like tea with that, sir?" "Yes, I would like tea. Why don't you put it on my breasts?" "Certainly. Tea for this man's breasts! Anything else, sir?" - Author: Eddie Izzard
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#94. I do subscribe to the maxim that generally comedy is like jazz. Either you get it or you don't. You can't learn it and you can't be taught it. I don't think that if you are not a funny person, you can fake it. - Author: Edward Norton
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#95. I have a few cavities. I don't like to call them cavities, though - I like to call them 'places to put stuff'. 'Do you know where I can store a pea' 'Yes, I have some locations available.' - Author: Mitch Hedberg
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#96. She's your mother. I asked, Plus, you do look a bit like her. When you're angry, you both get these tense lines around your mouth ... Look, there they are. - Author: Molly Harper
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#97. People think I'm into sports because I'm a man. But I'm not into sports. I like Gatorade, but that's about as far as it goes. By the way, you don't have to be sweaty and play basketball to enjoy Gatorade. You can just be a thirsty dude. Gatorade forgets about this demographic! - Author: Mitch Hedberg
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#98. I don't talk about my hair anymore because I've matured. I matured and realized it doesn't matter what you look like. It's what kind of hair you have inside that counts. - Author: Garry Shandling
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#99. I feel like if I'm going to give you a book about my dad, then I really want to give you my dad, because he is interesting and he is funny and if you're buying a book about him, I don't want you to have to sit through stuff that's not him. - Author: Justin Halpern
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#100. An early editor characterized my books as 'romantic comedy for intelligent adults.' I think people see them as funny but kind. I don't set out to write either funny or kind, but it's a voice they like, quirky like me ... And you know, people like happy endings. - Author: Elinor Lipman
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