Top 15 Funny I Don't Cook Quotes

#1. Thirty years of marriage to Erasto had taught her much, namely that men were reckless by nature, full of bluster, most incompetent, the rest fortunate to have a wife to keep them from allowing their innate ineptitude to engulf all around them.

A.H. Septimius

Funny I Don't Cook Quotes #235078
#2. Besides, I punched him in the eye.

Jasper Fforde

Funny I Don't Cook Quotes #274335
#3. A paradox is a storm that rains on itself.

Shannon L. Alder

Funny I Don't Cook Quotes #478578
#4. Sniffing glue is a homeless nonbeliever's prayer.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Funny I Don't Cook Quotes #616074
#5. Woman: You certainly know the way to a man's heart.
Mae West: Funny, too, 'cause I don't know how to cook.

Mae West

Funny I Don't Cook Quotes #645864
#6. If I enter into your dream and say, "wake up!" If you awaken, then the dream will vanish. We'll be right where we always were and always will be, everywhere and nowhere - eternally perfect, infinite awareness.

Frederick Lenz

Funny I Don't Cook Quotes #788925
#7. Models come in all sizes and shapes.

Tim Gunn

Funny I Don't Cook Quotes #1001907
#8. Rappers make what's in, in. If we want to bring back something like Jordache, we just say it and the girls start wearing it. We have a lot of pull.

Nelly

Funny I Don't Cook Quotes #1200744
#9. I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny.

Dane Cook

Funny I Don't Cook Quotes #1207363
#10. I can't remember what Michael Praed looks like. I'm too young!

Jonas Armstrong

Funny I Don't Cook Quotes #1208906
#11. At the heel end of the day, I need my glass of wine. Christmas lights for the brain.

Bill Callahan

Funny I Don't Cook Quotes #1415325
#12. Touring can be repetitive at times.

Alison Mosshart

Funny I Don't Cook Quotes #1467367
#13. I used to have a sister, but I never got to meet her because she died after two days, I think. So if I got a tattoo, it would probably have to be something to do with my sister.

Chloe Grace Moretz

Funny I Don't Cook Quotes #1568482
#14. They burned this neighbourhood down in the early 1900s to prevent the spread of bubonic plague, and it occurs to me that they should consider doing it again, to purge the blight of well-meaning hipsters desperately trying to paint it rainbow

Lauren Beukes

Funny I Don't Cook Quotes #1641198
#15. Here's my theory about meetings and life: the three things you can't fake are erections, competence and creativity.

Douglas Coupland

Funny I Don't Cook Quotes #1879343

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