Top 43 Funny Get Well Quotes

#1. Thomas is racing for it, but McCovey is there and can't get his glove to it. That play shows the inexperience, not on Thomas' part, but on the part of Willie McC ... well, not on McCovey's part either.

Jerry Coleman

Funny Get Well Quotes #17579
#2. Sometimes when Sam's pretending to be in love with me, my stomach does funny things."
"Well, get some milk of magnesia and stop it.

Libba Bray

Funny Get Well Quotes #44982
#3. What am I supposed to do if I go bald? Get a wig? Fat, goofy, gay, wig. I might as well get a piano and start an Elton John tribute act!

Alan Carr

Funny Get Well Quotes #94473
#4. Well, just get used to it, because you're a long ways away from Kansas, my dear. She actually started singing "The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow" as she traipsed to the counter.

Holly Hood

Funny Get Well Quotes #149635
#5. I don't regret saying something," I said as he pulled down the street.
He glanced at me."Well, I regret not punching him in the face."
My lips twitched."Sorry. I couldn't let that happen."
"I'm sure I'll get another opportunity," He muttered, squinting out the windshield.

Jennifer L. Armentrout

Funny Get Well Quotes #220834
#6. Two years ago, I was a twenty-nine year old secretary. Now I am a thirty-one year old writer. I get paid very well to sit around in my pajamas and type on my ridiculously fancy iMac, unless I'd rather take a nap. Feel free to hate me
I certainly would.

Julie Powell

Funny Get Well Quotes #277349
#7. The best thing you can do when you're not feeling funny is go out and get more stimuli from the world, get out and walk around, read a book, go talk to some birds or a dog and replenish the well, as it were.

Rob Delaney

Funny Get Well Quotes #333166
#8. It's funny how you take things like electricity for granted. You hit the button that turns everything on and it just comes on. You get used to that and it just works every single time. So what happens when it suddenly doesn't? things very well could get messy.

Robin Burks

Funny Get Well Quotes #336964
#9. The truth is . . . Well, the truth is the truth, and thus worth telling, but sometimes truths are so complicated that it's exhausting to get them out in the right order." He glanced up at her. That sounded like an evasion if ever she'd heard one. She raised an eyebrow.

Merrie Haskell

Funny Get Well Quotes #384079
#10. Just so you know, I get incredibly bored quite easily and you will be forced to be my source of entertainment. You'll kind of be like my own personal jester."
I flipped him off.
"Well that wasn't funny at all.

Jennifer L. Armentrout

Funny Get Well Quotes #536889
#11. He gave me a rueful smile, his brown eyes so endearing. I could tell he was about to say something funny. I just knew him that well. That's like asking if I'm a fan of cancer. I fucking hate it, but do I know how to get rid of it? Not fucking likely.

R.K. Lilley

Funny Get Well Quotes #595372
#12. If you're frightened of leprechauns, the best thing to do is to get yourself a little leprechaun outfit and see how big they are. And then you'll go, 'Well I see. That's like bein' frightened of a hampster.'

Craig Ferguson

Funny Get Well Quotes #607696
#13. Get off me you dirty turnip!" "Dirty turnip? well, pardon me Signor Cabbage-Head!

Elle Newmark

Funny Get Well Quotes #623873
#14. it's funny how you can't exactly pick your crush. well, you can, but once it get hold of you, it's hard to shake off.

Emily Franklin

Funny Get Well Quotes #629018
#15. Well don't get your hopes up," I warned. "I'm a lot more trouble than i'm worth."
"I don't doubt that," he said, indicating my box of junk.
"What did you do to get sent here?"
"I can't tell you."
"Because then you'd have to kill me.

Christine Manzari

Funny Get Well Quotes #634876
#16. the team will say "We can't get anything done in a week." I generally ask them, "Well, can you get anything done in a day, then?" They'll reply that they cannot, and I'll ask them why they plan to come in tomorrow if they aren't going to do anything. Haha, very funny. Except serious.

Anonymous

Funny Get Well Quotes #744947
#17. I'd love to get into some comedy, but people keep saying, 'You're not funny!' And I say, 'Well, fair enough.' I have done comedy on stage.

Ciaran Hinds

Funny Get Well Quotes #764940
#18. Sex and murder are the same. Well, you say the same after both don't you? 'Damn I got to get the hell out of here! What was I thinking!'

Dave Attell

Funny Get Well Quotes #839006
#19. My company is known for being funny as well as moving. You get a bit of everything in these shows. I think people know they're going to have a surprising experience.

Matthew Bourne

Funny Get Well Quotes #849224
#20. If you do bad stuff and don't repent, you go to hell," Orc said, like he was begging for a refutation.
"Yeah, well, you know what? If Howard's in hell, I guess we can all have a big get-together soon enough. a

Michael Grant

Funny Get Well Quotes #850555
#21. Well, you keep your place then, nigger. I could get you strung up on a tree so easy it ain't even funny." Crooks had reduced himself to nothing. There was no personality, no ego - nothing to arouse either like or dislike. He said, "Yes, ma'am," and his voice was toneless.

John Steinbeck

Funny Get Well Quotes #961962
#22. Dude! Get a fucking grip, it's just a song!
When had I turned into a 5-yr-old girl? At the very least, I needed to get my libido under control before the song finished, because I didn't think that my raging hard-on would be a good icebreaker. Well, figuratively speaking anyway, I thought smugly.

M.C. Lavocat

Funny Get Well Quotes #1032534
#23. According to the group People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, fish have feelings too. Whenever my sons go fishing they always tell me, "Dad it doesn't hurt a fish to get hooked." Well I watch and I see and I believe it's painful for the fish.

Donald Trump

Funny Get Well Quotes #1128312
#24. In my experience, it's not just that serious books get a hearing on comedy shows. But serious books get a serious hearing, as well as a funny one, on comedy shows.

Michael Mandelbaum

Funny Get Well Quotes #1180343
#25. Well, then, Otter, of course I don't like Bundt cake. It has eggs in it. Baby chicken eggs. You don't see chickens standing outside of maternity wards waiting to get our babies to make their Bundt cake, do you?

T.J. Klune

Funny Get Well Quotes #1206515
#26. You know how some people get sun-kissed, well i got sun bitch slapped

Ryan Oliveira

Funny Get Well Quotes #1208000
#27. You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstein got D's in school. Well guess what, I get F's!!!

Bill Watterson

Funny Get Well Quotes #1268908
#28. It's funny because I think it also goes very well with the show. It has this reputation as being this love city where everyone goes to get married, but when you get there, it's very corny and tacky.

Caroline Dhavernas

Funny Get Well Quotes #1295376
#29. It sounds funny, but my biggest fear is that I'm not perfect. I'm a perfectionist, and I get upset when things go wrong or when I don't do well.

Nick Jonas

Funny Get Well Quotes #1319256
#30. Most of the people I admire, they usually smell funny and don't get out much. It's true. Most of them are either dead or not feeling well.

Tom Waits

Funny Get Well Quotes #1340271
#31. Everyone has a doctor in him or her; we just have to help it in its work. The natural healing force within each one of us is the greatest force in getting well. Our food should be our medicine. Our medicine should be our food. But to eat when you are sick, is to feed your sickness.

Hippocrates

Funny Get Well Quotes #1347265
#32. Now all I have to worry about is what might crawl out of the darkness to get me in the night."
"Yeah, well, I think there's a box of doughnuts under the chair. You can toss those to distract it.

Elle Parker

Funny Get Well Quotes #1362662
#33. Shadowmane sighed as well. :We had better do what this Topaz commands. Unicorns are jerks when they don't get their way.:

Ash Gray

Funny Get Well Quotes #1364931
#34. Some people are saying that the reason Michael Phelps isn't doing so well is because he let himself get too out of shape. I just have to say that I have been watching the Olympics, and if that guy is out of shape, I have been dead for five years.

Conan O'Brien

Funny Get Well Quotes #1426228
#35. I've never stayed at a bed and breakfast. If I did, I figure you would start to get hungry! "Is that all you got around here? Well, maybe you can direct me to a chair lunch dinner."

Mitch Hedberg

Funny Get Well Quotes #1481346
#36. No, writing musicals is the hardest thing in the world. And it was really funny, because I remember when the South Park movie came out, there were some critics that said, 'Well it's obvious that in order to get it to be 90 minutes they filled some time with music.'

Trey Parker

Funny Get Well Quotes #1484470
#37. A lot of the tabloid stories are written so well, they're very clever and very funny. But you have to focus on what's really important and not read them - don't dive into it and don't get caught up in it.

Calista Flockhart

Funny Get Well Quotes #1537135
#38. I don't respond well to mellow, you know what I mean, I have a tendency to ... if I get too mellow, I ripen and then rot.

Woody Allen

Funny Get Well Quotes #1620940
#39. It's funny that these people think I'm so powerful. I've figured out over the years, you can only hurt me if I love you; if I don't know you, I really don't care. There are people who want to kill me and I'm always like, 'Well, get in line, darling.

Conchita Wurst

Funny Get Well Quotes #1726198
#40. Then you get these articles about how unhealthy life is in the city. You know; mobile phone tumours - far more likely in the city; Well you know what, so is everything else! Including sex, coffee and conversation.

Dylan Moran

Funny Get Well Quotes #1774547
#41. Well, I'm not scared of death because I know where I'm going. And the funny thing is that the worst thing Satan can throw at you is death. So if I get death, I get heaven.

Colton Burpo

Funny Get Well Quotes #1821611
#42. Funny how days are like that. Some days start off rubbish and get worse as they go on, others start well and get better.

Chris Higgins

Funny Get Well Quotes #1838341
#43. That's why when I send a postcard I quiz people. "Hey, did you get that postcard?" "Yeah, yeah yeah." "Well what'd I say?" "Uh, you were havin-" "I was in jail"

Jim Gaffigan

Funny Get Well Quotes #1876196

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