Top 64 Funny Feet Quotes

#1. I picked up a transsexual hooker named Thor, all six feet of her, at the off ramp to Eau Claire, Wisconsin, as I was driving up north to kill a man.

J.A. Konrath

Funny Feet Quotes #59342
#2. Got my fungal foot powder? Ah, it's a lifesaver, you know. I'd effectively be disabled if it weren't for these.

Steve Coogan

Funny Feet Quotes #91404
#3. My heart's so light it floats and carries me so my feet don't walk. I sing all day and I don't mind the washing, and that's how I know I'm in love. Completely smitten with My Lord the cat.

Shannon Hale

Funny Feet Quotes #130915
#4. No tricks, Syn," Ryder growled from where he stood a few feet away.
"Tricks are for kids, silly rabbit," I said

Amelia Hutchins

Funny Feet Quotes #170561
#5. The uniform enhanced his athletic body, and my thoughts drifted to how magnificent he would look with his uniform puddled around his feet.

Maria V. Snyder

Funny Feet Quotes #205332
#6. Now I got my foot - through the door - and I ain't goin' no where.

Gwen Stefani

Funny Feet Quotes #222739
#7. He shook his head. He didn't know. He couldn't tell when he had woken fully. He walked to the horses. They definitely seemed alarmed. But then, they would. After all, he had just leapt to his feet unexpectedly, waving his saxe knife around like a lunatic.

John Flanagan

Funny Feet Quotes #283594
#8. I can't be funny if my feet don't feel right.

Billy Crystal

Funny Feet Quotes #296890
#9. I don't like big feet. It reminds me of gammon.

Steve Coogan

Funny Feet Quotes #319514
#10. What sort of funny songs?"
"My balls are swearing my balls are swearing I can't keep my balls from sweating ohhh no."
"How is that funny?" I asked.
"As in the balls of your feet?"
"No, it's like this thing ... Never mind," he said.

Anna Carey

Funny Feet Quotes #330358
#11. If you two had babies would they be like uber-von Strassenbergs? Would they be like eight feet tall?

Gwenn Wright

Funny Feet Quotes #380966
#12. This is a theater," Bertie, annoyed by the inquisition, dropped him onto stage. Several feet of slack cable landed atop the fairy in a slithering heap.
"Oh!" Peaseblossom said. "You've buried him alive!

Lisa Mantchev

Funny Feet Quotes #389893
#13. He stood and inhaled, then walked a few more feet, stooped, and prodded a chunk of rabbit fur.
"I'm definitely thinking something with more body parts," I said. "Like a head."
He gave a snort of a laugh. "It's probably around here somewhere, but I suppose you want the parts attached, too.

Kelley Armstrong

Funny Feet Quotes #430222
#14. Unix gives you just enough rope to hang yourself - and then a couple of more feet, just to be sure.

Eric Allman

Funny Feet Quotes #473544
#15. Noses run. Feet smell.

Teresa Monachino

Funny Feet Quotes #514075
#16. If there's ever a woman who's smart, funny, or witty, people are afraid of that, so they don't write that. They only write parts for women where they let everything be steamrolled over them, where they let people wipe their feet all over them.

Teri Garr

Funny Feet Quotes #553127
#17. I used to be an airline pilot. I got fired because I kept locking the keys in the plane. They caught me on an 80 foot stepladder with a coat hanger.

Steven Wright

Funny Feet Quotes #554875
#18. I was never over-weight, just under-tall. The correct height for my weight at the moment is seven feet ten and a half inches.

Brendan Grace

Funny Feet Quotes #565345
#19. Hackers are nerdy, pasty, tubby, little geeks with triple thick glasses and this is probably a demented otaku with smelly feet. So catching him will be a breeze!

Keiko Nobumoto

Funny Feet Quotes #574942
#20. Did you hear about the rose that grew from a crack in the concrete? Proving nature's laws wrong, it learned to walk without having feet. Funny, it seems to by keeping it's dreams; it learned to breathe fresh air. Long live the rose that grew from concrete when no one else even cared.

Tupac Shakur

Funny Feet Quotes #656448
#21. Be the kind of woman who, when your feet hit the floor each morning, the devil says Oh, no! She's up.

Joanne Clancy

Funny Feet Quotes #672282
#22. I was six foot one inch when I started fighting, but with all the uppercuts I'm up to six foot five inches.

Chuck Wepner

Funny Feet Quotes #687840
#23. If you can walk with your head in the clouds and keep your feet on the ground, you can make a million dollars in the NBA.

Gary Dornhoefer

Funny Feet Quotes #701911
#24. I'm taller than my father, and taller than two of the stones at Ban Drochaid."
"I meant in feet," she clarified. Speaking of the mundane gave her a measure of calm.
He eyed his boots a moment and appeared to be doing some rapid calculations.

Karen Marie Moning

Funny Feet Quotes #753156
#25. I grew up a huge fan of The Three Stooges and Monty Python, so somebody getting slapped in the face with a fish, or falling out of a chair, or running into a door, or tripping over their own feet and eating it, is all stuff I find really, really funny.

Thomas Sadoski

Funny Feet Quotes #783299
#26. She smirks."Are you attempting to stop me, little one?"
"Excuse me? Did you just call me 'little one'? What are you? Like, four feet tall?" I ask.

Carrie Jones

Funny Feet Quotes #824536
#27. Always remember your kid's name. Always remember where you put your kid. Don't let your kid drive until their feet can reach the pedals. Use the right size diapers ... for yourself. And, when in doubt, make funny faces.

Amy Poehler

Funny Feet Quotes #837209
#28. I hate that stuff. It tastes like feet."
At that he smiled. "How would you know what feet taste like?"
"I just know.

Cassandra Clare

Funny Feet Quotes #862353
#29. If you go by other people's opinions or predictions,
you'll just end up talking yourself out of something.
If you're running down the track of life thinking that
it's impossible to break life's records,
those thoughts have a funny way of sinking into your feet.

Carl Lewis

Funny Feet Quotes #873588
#30. Puppies are cute. I'm fierce!"
"Yeah!" Evelyn snorted. "Romas says you're as fierce as a kitten."
"A kitten?" Kiera's tone grew more hurt. "I'm not afraid of him, just because he's twelve feet tall and can bench press me with his toes. It's not nice of him to say that

Lizzy Ford

Funny Feet Quotes #894983
#31. I once tried to commit suicide by jumping off a building ... I changed my mind at the last minute, so I just flipped over and landed on my feet. Two little kittens nearby saw what happened and one turns to the other and says, "See, that's how it's done."

Steven Wright

Funny Feet Quotes #895292
#32. A miniature village in Bournemouth caught fire and the flames could be seen nearly three feet away.

Bob Monkhouse

Funny Feet Quotes #924173
#33. Then he smiles because he knows deep in his bones that his dad has gone and said something really funny probably. He kicks off his sheet and slides his feet into his slippers. Bunny sits in the living room, slumped low on the sofa, full of Geoffrey's Scotch and Poodle's cocaine.

Nick Cave

Funny Feet Quotes #938058
#34. Right now I feel that I've got my feet on the ground as far as my head is concerned.

Bo Belinsky

Funny Feet Quotes #961840
#35. With freestyling it's not about "Say something funny!" That has nothing to do with it. It's about becoming quicker on your feet and knowing that your entire day can go into your rap if you're on it.

Doseone

Funny Feet Quotes #990346
#36. I mean really, how could an artistic individual stay grounded in the nitty-gritty of how many minutes per pound meat has to stay in the oven when trying to fathom the creative philosophy behind the greatest artistic minds of the world?

E.A. Bucchianeri

Funny Feet Quotes #993706
#37. A room - full of detached feet - like hundreds of them. Maybe thousands! And I saw the king in there. He was having an orgy with them. It was the most horrible thing I've ever seen. Like a bunch of insects crawling all over his naked body. Except they weren't insects.

Colleen Chen

Funny Feet Quotes #996845
#38. I was eight feet tall and made of metal again, and oh how I'd missed it so.

Andrew Seiple

Funny Feet Quotes #1016767
#39. Think of something to say. Keep him here. Something funny and interesting and cool.
"I put my wellies on because I was sure it was going to rain and now my feet are getting horribly moist," Ellie said, and it was the single worst thing she'd ever said to anyone.

Sarra Manning

Funny Feet Quotes #1035680
#40. A Polish man in a helicopter. Goes up to 800 feet. Down it comes! What happened? "It got chilly up there, so I turned off the fan!"

Henny Youngman

Funny Feet Quotes #1043621
#41. One cubic foot less of space and it would have constituted adultery.

Robert Benchley

Funny Feet Quotes #1076773
#42. I wonder what will happen if i put a hand cream on my feet, will they get confused and start clapping?

Ellen DeGeneres

Funny Feet Quotes #1138712
#43. On how to make the game more exciting - Eliminate the referees, raise the basket four feet, double the size of the basketball, limit the height of the players to 5 feet 9 inches, bring back the centre jump, allow taxi drivers in for free and allow the players to carry guns.

Al McGuire

Funny Feet Quotes #1143697
#44. Curran.
"You're taking a nap? Come on Kate, I need you for this fight, Stop lying around."
You sonovabitch. I rolled to my feet and grabbed my sword. "You must think you're funny.

Ilona Andrews

Funny Feet Quotes #1191695
#45. There's lotion for your face, lotion for your hands, lotion for your feet, lotion for your body. Why? What would happen if you put hand lotion on your feet? Would your feet get confused and start clapping?

Ellen DeGeneres

Funny Feet Quotes #1204500
#46. Sire," Oliver said as he helped Petunia to her feet, "I'd like to marry Petunia.
"Of course you would," retorted the King Gregor. "But not right now! we just got those two taken care of." He pointed to the twins who were still trying to play Christian's odd game. "And weddings are expensive!

Jessica Day George

Funny Feet Quotes #1228662
#47. I was the class podiatrist. I never made it to class clown. I wasn't funny enough. I would examine feet and prescribe and ointment. It was a sad childhood.

Gilbert Gottfried

Funny Feet Quotes #1255966
#48. I used to carry a rabbit's foot for luck. Then it was a monkey's paw. Now it's a camel's toe.

Kristen Schaal

Funny Feet Quotes #1309204
#49. My shoes are size 2 and a 1/2, the same size as my feet

Elaine Paige

Funny Feet Quotes #1334150
#50. I brought you some coffee." he held out the cup but she waved it away.
"I hate that stuff. It tastes like feet."
At that he smiled. "How would you know what feet taste like?"
"I just know."
-Luke and Clary, pg.209-

Cassandra Clare

Funny Feet Quotes #1411002
#51. I want to be a race car passenger: just a guy who bugs the driver. Say man, can I turn on the radio? You should slow down. Why do we gotta keep going in circles? Can I put my feet out the window? Man, you really like Tide..

Mitch Hedberg

Funny Feet Quotes #1431901
#52. Ala!" Echo sprang to her feet, legs tangled in the sheets. The Ala was here. The Ala had brought food. The Ala was a goddess

Melissa Grey

Funny Feet Quotes #1452857
#53. He's an idiot," Harry said again. "One who doesn't deserve to lick your feet. You'll thank me someday."
"I have no intention of allowing him to lick me anywhere," she retorted, then turned utterly red when she realized what she's said.

Julia Quinn

Funny Feet Quotes #1470801
#54. So I know where my feet are.

Robert Pattinson

Funny Feet Quotes #1519307
#55. Love it when a compelling new character kicks open your mental door, tracks mud across your brain, and props their feet up on your cerebrum.

Don Roff

Funny Feet Quotes #1581119
#56. He's also taller than I thought, maybe six feet, with a slim but athletic build. His pants hug his hips just enough to outline a bit of a visible bulge. Or maybe it's just the lighting in here. Or maybe I'm just a pervert.

Karina Halle

Funny Feet Quotes #1593037
#57. Well what's funny is, again, people say they believed what was going on, but again, Bob's hands are about three times bigger than his feet. So these are very caricatured.

Brad Bird

Funny Feet Quotes #1624894
#58. You ever noticed how people who believe in Creationism look really un-evolved? You ever noticed that? Eyes real close together, eyebrow ridges, big furry hands and feet. "I believe God created me in one day". Yeah, looks like He rushed it

Bill Hicks

Funny Feet Quotes #1658053
#59. Get your filthy paws off my son, feet pue tan! Cherise

Sherrilyn Kenyon

Funny Feet Quotes #1658269
#60. And the funny, impish magic of a wrap party is that everyone still has scraps of their characters hanging off them like Salome's veils, fluttering, fading, but not quite finished tangling the tongue and tripping the feet. You're not in Wonderland anymore, but you positively reek of rabbit.

Catherynne M Valente

Funny Feet Quotes #1671253
#61. It's not funny, Jace," Alec interrupted, starting to his feet. "Are you just going to let her stand there and call me names?"
"Yes," Jace said kindly. "It'll do you good
try to think of it as endurance training.

Cassandra Clare

Funny Feet Quotes #1698984
#62. I sort of fell."
"Percy! Six hundred and thirty feet?

Rick Riordan

Funny Feet Quotes #1762445
#63. He was discovered with his feet stuck to the ceiling in the bathroom with his head stuffed in the toilet ...

Orson Scott Card

Funny Feet Quotes #1837695
#64. Opinions are like feet. Everybody's got a couple, and they usually stink.

Jim Slattery

Funny Feet Quotes #1877823

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