Top 100 Funny Fact Sayings
#1. A transposable aphorism is a malaise of the urge to be witty, or in other words, a maxim that is untroubled by the fact that the opposite of what it says is equally true so long as it appears to be funny.
Umberto Eco
#2. Yeah, I love living in New York, man, and people who live in New York, we wear that fact like a badge right on our sleeve because we know that fact impresses everybody! I was in Vietnam. So what? I live in New York!
Denis Leary
#3. Would I laugh?"
"Matter of fact, you would," says Zeb. "Heart like shale. What you need is a good fracking.
Margaret Atwood
#4. I try not to laugh at the fact that even when she's drunk, she has a hard time saying it. "Where do you want me to take you?" She drops her head back against my chest. "You can just keep carrying me. It's very relaxing.
Jessica Sorensen
#5. It was a well-known fact that Lorna was leaving in six months' time, since Lorna had been leaving in six months' time for close to twenty-five years.
Danielle Wood
#6. Over youth, glamour, and glibness. Fashion has no use for Mitts. But the funny thing about cool? It's not cool. At all. In fact, what's truly cool is the rebellion against the perceived,
Greg Gutfeld
#7. Olympic organizers are reportedly struggling to fill rows and rows of empty seats. Empty seats! In fact, yesterday officials put out a casting call asking for 200 Europeans or eight Americans.
Conan O'Brien
#8. I don't mind my wife having to last word. In fact I'm delighted when she reaches it.
Walter Matthau
#9. The fact that she made this beeline for me both warmed my soul and made me want to turn around, walk out the door, and find a cliff to fling myself off of.
Lia Habel
#10. I wake up every day and look at my own ugly mug in the mirror and don't think twice about it. The fact that other people might want to look at me still feels funny. It's flattering, but funny.
Luke Bracey
#11. I had to face the fact that I had been using my gay friends as props. They were always supposed to be funny and entertain me and praise me and listen to my problems, and their life was supposed to be a secret that no one wanted to hear about. I wanted them to stay in the half closet.
Tina Fey
#12. Gansey's phone buzzed.
"Gansey, man, is this diseased tree cutting into your digital time?" Ronan asked.
The fact was the digital time was cutting into his diseased tree time.
Maggie Stiefvater
#13. Rats have a sense of humor. Rats, in fact think the world is very funny. And they are right, dear reader. They are right.
Kate DiCamillo
#14. Many Americans follow pro basketball from November through June, for reasons that I found unexplainable, other than the fact that they were overly fascinated with soaring armpits.
Dan Jenkins
#15. It's funny, but when there are dominant teams, there are a number of people who rail about the fact that they're always seeing the Dallas Cowboys or the San Francisco 49ers or the Green Bay either in the playoffs or in the Super Bowl.
Al Michaels
#16. I think there's something in the fact that it's hard to be good looking and funny. You have to have an oddball quality; people have to sympathise with you to find you funny.
Chris O'Dowd
#17. I thought it was funny. I always thought Star Wars and Indiana Jones were basically comedies. The humour came out of their relationships; it came out of the fact that we were basically types.
Harrison Ford
#18. I'm tired of ignorance held up as inspiration, where vicious anti-intellectualism is considered a positive trait, and where uninformed opinion is displayed as fact.
Philip Plait
#19. The dumbest question I was ever asked by a sportswriter was whether I hit harder with red or white gloves. As a matter of fact, I hit harder with red.
Frank Crawford
#20. I love my pizza so much, in fact, that I have come to believe in my delirium that my pizza might actually love me, in return. I am having a relationship with this pizza, almost an affair.
Elizabeth Gilbert
#21. I've decided I don't like books that end with 'The End'. The fact that there are no more pages, suggests to me that the book has ended.
Wayne Gerard Trotman
#22. Baby, the fact that you know that's funny is going to save your whole life.
Carrie Fisher
#23. It was a dangerous profession I had chosen ... because no one likes a funny kid. In fact, adults are scared silly of them and tend to warn children who act out that they are going to wind up in prison or worse. It is only when you grow up that they pay you vast sums of money to make them laugh.
Art Buchwald
#24. It's funny what they say about men in uniform - how people think women just can't resist 'em. Fact is, I think we're just pleased to see a man groomed, bathed, and wearing clothes that fit him.
Cherie Priest
#25. Girls like good-looking guys, and I am not very good-looking. In fact, I sort of look like a pudding
Jesse Andrews
#26. Stand-up comedians say that anyone in the audience can be funny, but people paid to see us because we're just a little bit funnier. In the same way, I think anybody can play music - in fact, I think everyone has music in them, but some of us can do it a little better.
J. D. Souther
#27. You, the actor, must be aware of when you're being funny, but the character you're playing should always be oblivious to the fact.
Jon Lovitz
#28. Little-known fact about cheerleaders: They keep schedules that would make grown marines cry.
Jennifer Lynn Barnes
#29. Strippers should be role-models for little girls. If only for the fact that they wax their assholes.
Sarah Silverman
#30. The Governor has no presidential aspirations. In fact he just made a tour of 43 states just to tell them he's not running for anything.
Bob Hope
#31. What's funny is that the idea of popularity - even the use of the word 'popular' - is something that had been mostly absent from my life since junior high. In fact, the hallmark of life after junior high seemed to be the shedding of popularity as a central concern.
Susan Orlean
#32. There are men who can think no deeper than a fact.
Voltaire
#33. Little James Herondale, age two, was in fact holding a dagger quite well. He stabbed it into a sofa cushion, sending out a burst of feathers.
"Ducks," he said, pointing at the feathers.
Cassandra Clare
#34. But this show reminds me that there are other aspects to me besides the fact that I'm a funny chick.
Kristen Johnston
#35. I think sex is overrated. I don't have sex appeal and I know it. As a matter of fact, I think I'm rather funny looking. My teeth are funny, for one thing, and I have none of the attributes usually required for a movie queen, including the shapeliness.
Audrey Hepburn
#36. If you want to think about something really funny, kiddo, consider the fact that our favorite modern bad guys became villains by serving as heroes first
to millions. It is now a necessary apprenticeship.
William H Gass
#37. I look out at the stadiums full of people and see them all knowing the words to songs I wrote. And curling their hair! I remember straightening my hair because I wanted to be like everybody else, and now the fact that anybody would emulate what I do? It's just funny. And wonderful.
Taylor Swift
#38. I don't think I am particularly funny. In fact, I know I'm not.
Jeremy Clarkson
#39. With its missed lines and falling tombstones, 'Dark Shadows' was sometimes inadvertently funny, but what made the show work was the fact that the actors and the writers took it all very seriously.
William J. Mann
#40. Only dead fishes go with the flow.. I guess that make me a dead fish!
Shanai Campbell
#41. If the writing is good, then the writing is already funny. All you have to do is make this funny writing true to the very deepest of your heart, and the fact that you are capable of making this true will be hysterical.
Constance Wu
#42. If you record the world honestly, there's no way people can stop being funny. A lot of fiction writing doesn't get that idea, as if to acknowledge it would trivialize the story or trivialize human nature, when in fact human nature is reduced and falsified if the comic aspects are not included.
Lorrie Moore
#43. A man said to the universe: 'Sir, I exist!' 'However,' replied the universe. 'The fact has not created in me A sense of obligation.
Stephen Crane
#44. That doesn't upset too many people, but the fact that accessibility restrictions don't enter into the picture has caused more than one otherwise pacifistic soul to contemplate distinctly unpacifistic actions.
Scott Meyers
#45. But Wall Street people are in fact very smart; they're funny, they're not company men who work their way up the chain.
Paul Krugman
#46. High school is life's way of giving you a record low to judge the rest of your life by. I know this because no matter how shitty it got, I could always look back and say, "At least I don't have my arm stuck up a cow's vagina." In fact, that's kind of become my life's motto.
Jenny Lawson
#47. I think I would say 'The King's Speech' is surprisingly funny, in fact the audiences in London, Toronto, LA, New York commented there's more laughter in this film than in most comedies, while it is also a moving tear-jerker with an uplifting ending.
Tom Hooper
#48. The funny thing was that the sisters were hardly nubile, creamy-skinned Lolitas blushing on the bough. In fact, one of them looked like she'd beaten herself with a tire iron during a smallpox-induced hallucination, and the other looked like a close-up photo of a wolf spider.
Diablo Cody
#49. About 100 things that your kid will do that will surprise you and break your heart and it will be a combination of fact based therapy, medically advised kinds of passages accompanied by celebrity anecdotes and just some funny stuff to lighten the load.
Alan Thicke
#50. If she in fact knows magic she needs to do a spell to adjust that shitty attitude she has all of a sudden," Nona said. "I may not be a witch, but I will knock her right off that broomstick if she keeps this up.
Holly Hood
#51. The humorous story is told gravely; the teller does his best to conceal the fact that he even dimly suspects that there is anything funny about it.
Mark Twain
#52. I am a pretty good actor. Most of my friendships are based on the fact that I pretend to be outgoing and funny in social situations, but when I get home, I tend to isolate myself because I am actually somewhat bipolar and introverted.
Reese Roper
#53. Sorry for your loss' Gordan said.His extended hand was immediately rejected with an if-looks-could-kill stare from Shelly's father, who was, as of yet, oblivious to the fact that we had stolen the last of his daughter.
'Right. Well,fuck you too.
Ty Roth
#54. I owe my whole acting career to the fact that I'm a singer. I went out to Los Angeles and auditioned for a TV show called 'Fame L.A.' The original role was for a comedian, but they said I wasn't very funny, so they asked me, 'What else can you do?' So I played a singer.
Christian Kane
#55. The fact of the matter is that I wanted to hold a grudge in some funny kind of way.Against everybody.
Mario Puzo
#56. Part of the charm of basketball lies in the fact that it's a simple game to understand. Players race up and down a fairly small area indoors and stuff the ball into a ring with Madonna's dress hanging on it.
Dan Jenkins
#57. Over the weekend, of course, down there in Washington, D.C., they had the big White House Correspondents' Dinner. Do you know who was really funny? President Obama. So funny, in fact, he has already been promised 'The Tonight Show' in five years.
David Letterman
#58. That's a funny thing, fame. People definitely do treat you differently. When you begin to be successful, people say, 'Don't go changing.' Well, that's easy to say, but the fact is, you don't change at all - other people do.
Jonathan Rhys Meyers
#59. I'm a fake fact factory. The things I make are the things I make up. Also, as a side business, I make love. Actually, I just made that up.
Dora J. Arod
#60. I'm known as a kind of dramatic, serious, almost humorless actor and the fact is, I'm a funny guy, and I spend most of my life trying to find a lighter side of things, and on stage was given plenty of opportunity to do that.
Campbell Scott
#61. I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married.
Lewis Grizzard
#62. No doubt two straight men couldn't easily fit in it together let alone maneuver around each other. Gay men had all sorts of space-saving advantages, namely their willingness to insert parts into one another.
Gina A. Rogers
#63. I need a hug from you to make me feel better about the fact I need a hug from you.
Stephanie Rowe
#64. I haven't stopped looking for the good in people. I've just accepted the fact that I'm not always going to find it.
Patti LaBelle
#65. He'd use this opportunity to impress Rick and show him that he did, in fact, have more to offer than just being a sexy skanktart. To show that he wasn't just a brainless bimfoon, that's when a bimbo breeds with a buffoon, resulting in a true, hot mess.
Kyle Adams
#66. But she was funny sometimes, and never boring. God, it would almost be worth it to see her face when she realized that I had saved her ass again.
Actually it was quite a nice ass, come to think of it. In fact, my memory of the ass and its owner seemed to be remarkably clear.
Ilona Andrews
#67. The fact that I'm sitting here in the chilly leaves imagining ways to get rid of the boy I loved so much I brought him back from the dead is so ridiculous, so horrifying, it's almost funny. In an unbelievable, black humor way that's not really funny at all.
Amy Garvey
#68. Most man can think no better than a child! This fact perfectly explains why there are so many funny beliefs!
Mehmet Murat Ildan
#69. The doctor seemed especially troubled by the fact of the robbery having been unexpected, and attempted in the night-time; as if it were the established custom of gentlemen in the housebreaking way to transact business at noon, and to make an appointment, by the twopenny post, a day or two previous.
Charles Dickens
#70. Ecology is often confused with environmentalism, while in fact, environmentalism often leaves out the fact that people, too, can be a legitimate part of an ecosystem.
Frank Herbert
#71. I feel no grief for being called something
which
I am not;
in fact, it's enthralling, somehow, like a good
back rub
Charles Bukowski
#72. All of them are the same type; girls with overprocessed hair and too much makeup and way too much access to Daddy's credit cards. Girls who, if you took away the designer labels, hair dye and cover-up, wouldn't be more than average-looking, but with all that stuff look too plastic to be pretty.
Hannah Harrington
#73. I've always believed that there are funny people everywhere, but they're just not comedians. In fact, some of my best comedic inspirations were not professional entertainers.
Steve Martin
#74. 'Lucky' is for laughs, and there's really nothing funny that I'm doing on 'Dexter.' I think more than anything, both comment on the fact that anybody is capable of anything. Just because they are the shy guy in the corner doesn't mean that they are a harmless little bunny.
Colin Hanks
#75. The fact that you and I are acquaintances only interested and amused the ghosts further. Gossip bunch, really.
August Westman
#76. He bombarded me with words, of all things, apparently clueless to the fact that the predawn hours rendered me incapable of coherent thought.
Darynda Jones
#77. There is a persistent funny form of suspicion in most of us that we can solve our own problems and be the masters of our own ships of life, but the fact of the matter is that by ourselves we can only be consumed by our problems and suffer the shipwreck.
Harry Stack Sullivan
#78. I never liked apples. In fact, when I was a little girl, my mom wanted to give me apples in my lunch box and I would ask for green peppers. So bizarre ... It's funny - I don't have an apple a day, but I can say that I have a few a week.
Lana Parrilla
#79. A cool hand touched my arm. I jerked back. "Don't! You'll burn!"
"I'm used to it." Ayden's brown eyes twinkled. "In fact, I've been told I'm smokin'." He held out a hand, his voice soft. "By an incredible redhead who I wish, for once, knew she could trust me.
A&E Kirk
#80. Ever since the robot was first invented, there have been people who swear up and down that this marks the first step towards the fall of man ... To be fair, their arguments are backed with scientific fact taken from documentary films such as The Terminator, The Matrix, and RoboCop.
Wes Locher
#81. Every night on my show, The Colbert Report, I speak straight from the gut, okay? I give people the truth, unfiltered by rational argument. I call it "The No Fact Zone." Fox News, I hold a copyright on that term.
Stephen Colbert
#82. I remember straightening my hair because I wanted to be like everybody else, and now the fact that anybody would emulate what I do? It's just funny.
Taylor Swift
#83. I don't dwell on the fact that I may have ridden on planes. That which I can't remember having needed, I simply accept. It is the most preferable kind of self-insight: one that does not require any accompanying change in behavior.
Benson Bruno
#84. Tried to escape, to block out the fact that I was being eaten alive by arachnids. For some reason the only thing I could replace it with was the image of being eaten by tiny clowns.
David Wong
#85. The fact that the Kardashians could be more popular than a show like 'Mad Men' is disgusting. It's a super disgusting part of our culture, but I still find it funny to make a joke about it.
Jonah Hill
#86. Arch turned and looked at Ian. The other man was fiddling with the neckline of his shirt. "You're just jealous, Ian, and wishing you had a soul mate of your own. In fact, I don't think any woman will be safe until you get one." Ian shot him an unamused look at his words.
Rose Wynters
#87. Wikipedia is just an incredible thing. It is fact-encirclingly huge, and it is idiosyncratic, careful, messy, funny, shocking and full of simmering controversies - and it is free, and it is fast.
Nicholson Baker
#88. Will suspected Jem was in fact cleverer than he was himself - but he lacked Will's tendency to assume the absolute worst about people and proceed from there.
Cassandra Clare
#89. You know what's funny to me? You know what's really funny to me? The fact that you've been calling Lita the walking kiss of death, but tonight.. the walking KOD beat the walking STD.
Chris Jericho
#90. Coordinating the retreat was important too, so important that Jiaan had assigned Aram as Fasal's assistant, to be sure he didn't overlook anything important. Like the fact that they were supposed to retreat.
Hilari Bell
#91. I squared my shoulders, trying to ignore the fact that I was standing in the apartment of the sea witch, wearing a fairy-tale prom gown, waiting for the attack of the mermaids.
Seanan McGuire
#92. The Kenyans haven't done much in the last two games, in fact they haven't competed since 1972
Brendan Foster
#93. Idiot."
"That fact is well established and adds nothing to the plot.
Leigh Bardugo
#94. I do like to believe there is no stupid and or funny question because in fact if we don't ask than we don't learn.
Kai Greene
#95. I know that to be a true fact because I read it in Heat magazine
Bill Bailey
#96. Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
Groucho Marx
#97. First of all is the fact that I have some rather good turns of phrase. I don't say that pridefully ... it's just that when a line I forgot about smacks me in the face and says, "Look at me! Aren't I lovely?" I have to notice.
Rachel Heffington
#98. The fact is I'm choosy, but mainly about a man's character. He has to be interesting, funny and clever. I don't even mind if he's not very good-looking.
Agyness Deyn
#99. The fact that I'm shouting that I have Gangnam style makes people crack up. Imagine if Brad Pitt was singing the song - would it be funny? A twist is important when it comes to writing lyrics.
Psy
#100. It's funny how when you say "yes" to something (like the man of your dreams), you don't think about the fact that you are also saying "no" to something else.
Amy E. Spiegel
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