Funny E Famous Quotes & Sayings

List of top 100 famous quotes and sayings about funny e to read and share with friends on your Facebook, Twitter, blogs.

Top 100 Funny E Sayings

#1. Thought for the day: Twitter ... 140 character limit ... must be a great tool for fortune cookie writers ... - Author: E.A. Bucchianeri
Funny E Sayings #1172024
#2. Which weakness shall I tell her? "I walk funny," I say, and she's satisfied with that. (inside joke) - Author: Mary E. Pearson
Funny E Sayings #1335635
#3. He's a little more ... psychotic than usual," Tom said quietly.
"How so?"
"He took C-4 to bed with him."
Prophet shrugged. "He's always done that. - Author: S.E. Jakes
Funny E Sayings #1332184
#4. Clare's been called a lot of things- smart and funny, driven and talented- but memorable certainly isn't one of them. The most important things about her- the ones she's most proud of- are apparent only once you get to know her. - Author: Jennifer E. Smith
Funny E Sayings #1326364
#5. Ayden and I clapped our hands over our ears when the shrieking started.
"Yes. I can see that you're enthused," Jayden tried to speak over the girls' squealing, "but you need - "
Danica snatched the backstage passes from Jayden. "No way!"
"Uh, yes. Way?" Jayden said. - Author: A&E Kirk
Funny E Sayings #1314799
#6. An artist should paint from the heart, and not always what people expect. Predictability often leads to the dullest work, in my opinion, and we have been bored stiff long enough I think. - Author: E.A. Bucchianeri
Funny E Sayings #1275378
#7. You think he left a big flashing arrow pointing to a filing cabinet labeled 'Evidence Here!'? He's a Stray, Ethan, not Wile E. Coyote! - Author: Rachel Vincent
Funny E Sayings #1270305
#8. I believe our differences are the little pinches of salt that can make the marriage seem more flavorful. - Author: James E. Faust
Funny E Sayings #1247952
#9. If you want to keep people happy, just keep the food and entertainment rolling. - Author: E.A. Bucchianeri
Funny E Sayings #1236905
#10. Where's the ice cream?"
"In the oven. - Author: E.L. James
Funny E Sayings #1232843
#11. It's hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse. - Author: Adlai E. Stevenson II
Funny E Sayings #1225490
#12. To be, or not to be: what a question! - Author: E.A. Bucchianeri
Funny E Sayings #1221716
#13. Dear Hope, I NEVER thought Id see the day when two of your daily e-mails sandwiched a message from none other than PAUL PARLIPIANO. My crush to end all crushes! Gay man of my dreams! OOOH! - Author: Megan McCafferty
Funny E Sayings #1197178
#14. Rooting for the Yankees is like rooting for U.S. Steel. - Author: Joe E. Lewis
Funny E Sayings #1349243
#15. The important thing for any writer to remember is to take the writing seriously, but not the writer. - Author: A.E. Poynor
Funny E Sayings #1131797
#16. Penumbra [...] produces another e-reader - it's a Nook. Then another one, a Sony. Another one, marked KOBO. Really? Who has a Kobo? - Author: Robin Sloan
Funny E Sayings #1110803
#17. We didn't-?" I whisper, my mouth drying in mortified horror as I can't complete the question. I stare at my hands.
"Anastasia, you were comatose. Necrophilia is not my thing. I like my women sentient and receptive," he says dryly. - Author: E.L. James
Funny E Sayings #1096986
#18. Why can't I be admitted to the ... bosom of the operation?" I leaned toward him but almost started to laugh because "bosom" was such a funny word and my innuendo was more Tina Fey than Angelina Jolie. - Author: Claire Gillian
Funny E Sayings #1073957
#19. I'd rather be ignored as a frog than eaten as a human. - Author: E.D. Baker
Funny E Sayings #1055454
#20. Why did Nicky call me the Baby Killer?" Kiara sniffled.
"Because she is a bitch," Leontes said.
Jaeger gave him a chastising look. "She's dead."
"Dying did not make her any less of a bitch," Leontes replied. - Author: A&E Kirk
Funny E Sayings #1051229
#21. I have a funny side. I have a soft and sympathetic side. I have a serious side, and a seriously romantic side. I have lots of sides; it's the main course I haven't quite figured out. - Author: Richelle E. Goodrich
Funny E Sayings #1049802
#22. A man doesn't like to have his ego popped, especially when he prides himself on his sagacity, and then to be proved wrong by a man who claims he doesn't know anything. - Author: E.A. Bucchianeri
Funny E Sayings #1005038
#23. I mean really, how could an artistic individual stay grounded in the nitty-gritty of how many minutes per pound meat has to stay in the oven when trying to fathom the creative philosophy behind the greatest artistic minds of the world? - Author: E.A. Bucchianeri
Funny E Sayings #993706
#24. By(e) pen, I've tried my hand at poetry; only to see how boring it is to me. That is, unless I get a chance to destroy each and every piece while doing it as I please. - Author: Criss Jami
Funny E Sayings #993304
#25. It's funny how we don't recognize our own reflections, but the one thing about them is they never lie. - Author: Jewel E. Ann
Funny E Sayings #970242
#26. The cure for moving too fast is just to slow down. - Author: William E. Coles Jr.
Funny E Sayings #1577984
#27. If you want to see something funny, it's a tough hood sticking his tongue out at his big brother. - Author: S.E. Hinton
Funny E Sayings #1692152
#28. It's funny; in this era of e-mail and voice mail and all those things that even I did not grow up with, a plain old paper letter takes on amazing intimacy. - Author: Elizabeth Kostova
Funny E Sayings #1688502
#29. If that's the case, waiter, please bring me another piece of cake," Gramps said as lunch was brought to the table, "I'm all for fighting tyranny and oppression. - Author: E.A. Bucchianeri
Funny E Sayings #1674710
#30. A whoosh and the lines of fire sucked back toward Ayden, flames disappearing into his hands. Back to normal.
"Ayden's the most visually effective," Matthias said.
A burning scent lingered but no damage to the "hottie" in front of me. I know, I know, but I couldn't resist. - Author: A&E Kirk
Funny E Sayings #1664144
#31. Coveralls," I reply, and I know I'm no longer screening what's coming out of my mouth.
He raises a eyebrow, amused yet again.
"You wouldn't want to ruin your clothing." I gesture vaguely in the direction of his jeans.
"I could always take them off." He smirks. - Author: E.L. James
Funny E Sayings #1645634
#32. Your wit never ceases to underwhelm me. - Author: A&E Kirk
Funny E Sayings #1625365
#33. Lila!" he said cheerfully. "So you aren't a figment of my brothers imagination after all. - Author: V.E Schwab
Funny E Sayings #1621022
#34. The funny thing about life is, there's nothing better to do than live it. - Author: D.E. Navarro
Funny E Sayings #1607566
#35. The cross had slipped back onto my chest. I unclasped it and after wrapping the chain around the metal, tucked it into my bra - Author: A&E Kirk
Funny E Sayings #1598056
#36. Even if a farmer intends to loaf, he gets up in time to get an early start. - Author: E.W. Howe
Funny E Sayings #1584155
#37. He once again pointed to that creepy theatrical smile. There were way too many teeth there. It made him look positively demented. - Author: Richard E. Gropp
Funny E Sayings #1583807
#38. I love you because you loved me first. Yet you love me, saying I loved you first. Funny, our love thrives believing the other person started it. - Author: Richelle E. Goodrich
Funny E Sayings #1578757
#39. Tempted to type meaningless twaddle all the time on Twitter ... with alliteration, no less! - Author: E.A. Bucchianeri
Funny E Sayings #965021
#40. I do not do free e-books. I occasionally like to eat that thing you people call "food". - Author: Carla H. Krueger
Funny E Sayings #1559273
#41. You are not to say 'stink,' " interrupted Helen; "at least, you may say it, but you must pretend you are being funny while you say it. - Author: E. M. Forster
Funny E Sayings #1541912
#42. True charity ought to begin in marriage, for it is a relationship that must be rebuilt every day. - Author: James E. Faust
Funny E Sayings #1515138
#43. I don't know how many times a phone call or e-mail starts with, "I don't agree with anything you say but you're funny as hell so I listen to your show, I love your show." - Author: Stephanie Miller
Funny E Sayings #1488708
#44. A cool hand touched my arm. I jerked back. "Don't! You'll burn!"
"I'm used to it." Ayden's brown eyes twinkled. "In fact, I've been told I'm smokin'." He held out a hand, his voice soft. "By an incredible redhead who I wish, for once, knew she could trust me. - Author: A&E Kirk
Funny E Sayings #1483845
#45. The way to keep a cat is to try to chase it away. - Author: E.W. Howe
Funny E Sayings #1478532
#46. It sometimes takes days, even weeks, before a dog's nerves tire. In the case of terriers it can run into months. - Author: E.B. White
Funny E Sayings #1449327
#47. I shook my head. "Not Interested" I said.
he straightened up. "Not interested in what?"
In you." I couldn't be more blunt.
Excuse me, miss, but I was going to ask if you would like to sign up for karaoke. - Author: Karen E. Olson
Funny E Sayings #1436320
#48. Maybe a friend is someone who wants your updates. Even if they're boring. Or sad. Or annoyingly cutesy. A friend says "Sign me up for your boring crap, yes indeed"
because he likes you anyways. He'll tolerate your junk - Author: E. Lockhart
Funny E Sayings #1421558
#49. Remind me to show you the latest e-mail from Courtney," he said now, kicking at a rock on the sidewalk. "You won't believe how many different incorrect ways she spelled hors d'oeuvres within the span of a single paragraph. - Author: Aimee Agresti
Funny E Sayings #1390369
#50. Weirdism is definitely the cornerstone of many an artist's career. - Author: E.A. Bucchianeri
Funny E Sayings #1361647
#51. Kate giggled. "Excellent choice."
"I always make excellent choices."
"I don't know about that."
"Of course I do. I picked ye, didn't I? - Author: Whitney K.E.
Funny E Sayings #176747
#52. ...she thought how funny that the first thing you didn't need was the words you said. - Author: C.E. Morgan
Funny E Sayings #314943
#53. I shot him daggers. Along with swords, scythes, scalpels, shivs, shanks, stilettos, and any other sharp weapon I could think of that began with an s. - Author: A&E Kirk
Funny E Sayings #309088
#54. Stop teasing you two," Suzy jumped in, "not all of Kathy's ideas are wacky."
"Gee thanks. Was that supposed to be a compliment? - Author: E.A. Bucchianeri
Funny E Sayings #250045
#55. Son of a - Rora?" Blake slid out of the crater he'd just made in the wall. "Crap. What are you doing here?" He saw my wrist. "Handcuffs? I definitely want that story. - Author: A&E Kirk
Funny E Sayings #244913
#56. It's strange how interesting your dreams are, but when someone tries to tell you their dream you're just like "WHATEVER! Why don't you send me an e-mail so I can delete it?" - Author: Jim Gaffigan
Funny E Sayings #228827
#57. Blake hung an arm on my shoulders. "Alone at last."
"I'm right here," Logan said.
"Maybe you shouldn't be. - Author: A&E Kirk
Funny E Sayings #225568
#58. I have been told the best things in life are free ~ I found them very expensive. - Author: E.A. Bucchianeri
Funny E Sayings #218996
#59. In the dark, Dave reached for Roger's hand as they watched the shadowed lovemaking. "Were we ever that beautiful?"
"You still are," Roger told him.
"Maybe we should make the most of the hurricane."
"This is definitely foreplay."
"It's like Tumblr, the live version. - Author: S.E. Jakes
Funny E Sayings #211633
#60. 'Chappie' would be like 'RoboCop,' but hilarious. If you mixed 'Robocop' with 'E.T.' and it was ... funny, that's what it is. - Author: Neill Blomkamp
Funny E Sayings #208944
#61. I glance down his body. He's still wearing his shorts and his shirt, and I still have my T-shirt on. Jeez
talk about wham, bam, thank you ma'am. - Author: E.L. James
Funny E Sayings #196743
#62. I feel the color in my cheeks rising again. I must be the color of The Communist Manifesto. - Author: E.L. James
Funny E Sayings #188310
#63. We're engaged to be engaged, aren't we? - Author: E.D. Baker
Funny E Sayings #182938
#64. Please tell me this is easier to take off than it was to put on."
Calla raised a brow. "You do not think Master Kell knows how? - Author: V.E Schwab
Funny E Sayings #325520
#65. I trust you all slept well," I said, deliberately keeping my tone light. I returned Malich's glare with a tight-lipped grin.
"Yes, we did," Kaden answered quickly.
"I'm sorry to hear that. - Author: Mary E. Pearson
Funny E Sayings #155499
#66. It's because I'm pregnant, Christian."
He snorts, and his mouth twists into an ironic smile. "If I knew getting you knocked up was going to make you eat, I might have done it earlier. - Author: E.L. James
Funny E Sayings #153644
#67. The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love. - Author: Joe E. Lewis
Funny E Sayings #148952
#68. Didn't expect to see you here," Jordan said.
My eyes cut to Rachel, and I smiled sweetly. "Obviously. Hey, Rachel. Good to see you again."
Hopefully, Jordan would know what I really meant, which was I'd cut a bitch if I could. - Author: S.E. Harmon
Funny E Sayings #147153
#69. Finally, Charlie gave up the hunt and placed (the puppy) back on the floor, dispatching fleas was not his idea of a romantic evening, unless you happened to be a twisted exterminator, he thought. - Author: E.A. Bucchianeri
Funny E Sayings #133743
#70. Jillian's fine. She's in her room with one of Drew's e- readers."
"Uh oh." Drew sat forward. "Which one?" Audrey tensed.
"The blue one. The mini- tablet?"
"Okay." Drew smiled. "That's fine, then. Porn's on the red one." She stared for a moment.
"Right. I'll remember that. - Author: Susan Sey
Funny E Sayings #110350
#71. You're not celibate, then?" I breathe.
Amusement lights up his eyes.
"No, Anastasia, I'm not celibate. - Author: E.L. James
Funny E Sayings #95617
#72. We thought being offered the M.B.E. [Member of the Order of the British Empire] was as funny as everybody else thought it was. Why? What for? We didn't believe it. It was a part we didn't want. We all met and agreed it was daft. - Author: John Lennon
Funny E Sayings #70811
#73. I don't know how to fix a car. If the car breaks down, and the gas tank does not say "E", I'm screwed. But if the gas tank says "E", I get all cocky - "I've got this one, don't worry." So I get out the toolbox AKA wallet. - Author: Mitch Hedberg
Funny E Sayings #45986
#74. You've brushed your teeth," He says, staring at me.
"I used your toothbrush."
His lips quirk up in a half smile. "Oh Anastasia Steele, what am I going to do with you? - Author: E.L. James
Funny E Sayings #15796
#75. You can't put a price tag on preparation for a pandemic. - Author: Richard E. Besser
Funny E Sayings #10409
#76. I am an artist you know ... it is my right to be odd. - Author: E.A. Bucchianeri
Funny E Sayings #651092
#77. No one messes around with a nerd's computer and escapes unscathed. - Author: E.A. Bucchianeri
Funny E Sayings #946090
#78. Nathan, how can you stand playing the same piece over and over again?" And Grandpa Nate answered, "Why don't you ask me how I can stand making love to the same woman over and over again? - Author: E.L. Konigsburg
Funny E Sayings #941371
#79. Prejudice is a great time saver. You can form opinions without having to get the facts. - Author: E.B. White
Funny E Sayings #935955
#80. I remember when I took the role on E.R., I thought, 'I haven't really been able to play a working class woman. I've played girls, I've played funny, but I haven't played a working class woman. That sounds like something I'd like to do.' - Author: Linda Cardellini
Funny E Sayings #890329
#81. I got an E-Trade account. Turns out I can turn $1,000 into $420 in less than a week. Sure, I had to pay some fees ... - Author: Mike Birbiglia
Funny E Sayings #880537
#82. How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O - Author: Henny Youngman
Funny E Sayings #843417
#83. A smartphone is an e-toy designed for the lonely inner child hidden in each and everyone of us. - Author: Saurabh Sharma
Funny E Sayings #841978
#84. Knowledge is a funny thing, Auron. The more of it that's in your head, the more your head can hold. It breeds on its own. You never know what the next bit of reading is going to do, what it's going to meet up with in your head and mate. - Author: E.E. Knight
Funny E Sayings #808306
#85. I pull out my e-reader and get back to my fictional boyfriend. Lord knows he won't cheat on me. - Author: M.D. Saperstein
Funny E Sayings #776958
#86. What would you do?"
"Is this one of those morality questions? Cause I got Unsatisfactory on my last few official psych evals when I answered the so-called morality questions. - Author: S.E. Jakes
Funny E Sayings #741409
#87. Like almost everyone who uses e-mail, I receive a ton of spam every day. Much of it offers to help me get out of debt or get rich quick. It would be funny if it weren't so exciting. - Author: Bill Gates
Funny E Sayings #690461
#88. #Twitter: proudly promoting ghastly grammar and silly misspelling since 2006. - Author: E.A. Bucchianeri
Funny E Sayings #675792
#89. Funny thing how when you reach out, people tend to reach right back. Best, then, to make sure your hand is open and not fisted. - Author: Richelle E. Goodrich
Funny E Sayings #9129
#90. Is it just me, or do you also think this is unnatural behavior in a female parent? Isn't there a federal law that says mothers are not allowed to laugh at vulnerable male children when they are required to wear stupid clothing to work?
There should be. - Author: Ann Edwards Cannon
Funny E Sayings #623456
#91. It seemed funny to me that the sunset she saw from her patio and the one I saw from the back steps was the same one. Maybe the two different worlds we lived in weren't so different. We saw the same sunset. - Author: S.E. Hinton
Funny E Sayings #614055
#92. Funny, I don't particularly care for either "laws" or "order". Liberty is messy. Freedom yields imperfect results. - Author: A.E. Samaan
Funny E Sayings #613362
#93. I'm going to run away now," says Gat. "Don't take it personally."
"Okay."
"It's better for the starting over if I run. Because walking will just be awkward."
"I said okay."
"Okay, then."
And he runs. - Author: E. Lockhart
Funny E Sayings #560583
#94. While you're singing something romantic, I can't get the lyrics to 'Love and Marriage' out of my head, and that tune always reminds me of the jingle from Jeopardy. - Author: E.A. Bucchianeri
Funny E Sayings #477920
#95. I tucked the feather into my bra, then glanced up at the sudden heavy silence. "What?"
Blake grinned. "What else you got in there? Can I see?"
"Shut up, Blake!" said the rest of the boys. - Author: A&E Kirk
Funny E Sayings #470409
#96. Plus, in one of his e-mails, the guy said he didn't like pancakes. What kind of asshole doesn't like pancakes? - Author: A. J. Jacobs
Funny E Sayings #408480
#97. I start laughing. You have to laugh. Life is just funny sometimes. As long as you remember. - Author: E.R. Frank
Funny E Sayings #370730
#98. I actually feel like, for a lot of my career, I wasn't able to show my comedic range. I did a lot of dramas and dramedies. I was on 'E.R.' That's not generally thought of as a funny show. - Author: Busy Philipps
Funny E Sayings #346079
#99. Laugh as if it's funny, embrace as if it's love, and smile anyway. - Author: Richelle E. Goodrich
Funny E Sayings #328531
#100. The funny thing about an impossibility is that it tends to be a magnet for those who would prove it otherwise. - Author: Richelle E. Goodrich
Funny E Sayings #328419

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