Funny Drunk Cop Famous Quotes & Sayings

List of top 32 famous quotes and sayings about funny drunk cop to read and share with friends on your Facebook, Twitter, blogs.

Top 32 Funny Drunk Cop Quotes

#1. It's not funny. I've got a naked drunk vampire running around in my orchard. - Author: Ilona Andrews
Funny Drunk Cop Quotes #507760
#2. It all jibed, and the books would close on Jasper as death by misadventure. Unofficially, Eve labeled it death by stupidity, but there wasn't a place on the sheet for that particular observation. - Lt. Eve Dallas on a drunk fall off the roof - Author: J.D. Robb
Funny Drunk Cop Quotes #1546023
#3. The first time they'd met, in this very pub, he'd hit on her using so little finesse, she'd been forced to ask if he was kidding. Granted, they'd both had a few too many drinks that night, but nothing excused the line, "I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by you." Nothing. - Author: Tessa Bailey
Funny Drunk Cop Quotes #967853
#4. Jazz is capable of doing much more than depicting the dope fiend and the drunk and the slinky gal. In our show there are many very funny sequences where we were able to use jazz as it can be used-in a happy way. - Author: Henry Mancini
Funny Drunk Cop Quotes #946620
#5. I don't have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down, no problem. - Author: George Burns
Funny Drunk Cop Quotes #945288
#6. Another drunk goes up to a parking meter, puts in a quarter, the dial goes to 60. The drunk says, "Huh. I lost 100 pounds!" - Author: Henny Youngman
Funny Drunk Cop Quotes #898417
#7. We were not actually famous, I have to add. People were just drunk. - Author: John Duover
Funny Drunk Cop Quotes #827110
#8. After a long moment, Laurent said, I'm going to need some help standing up. - Author: C.S. Pacat
Funny Drunk Cop Quotes #802166
#9. I'm in no condition to drive ... wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk! - Author: Yogi Berra
Funny Drunk Cop Quotes #801304
#10. Funny how nobody talks on the tubes, isn't it? I rarely catch the tube myself, or lifts. Confined spaces, everybody shuts down. Why is that? Perhaps we think everybody on the tube is a potential psychopath or a drunk,so we close down and pretend to read a book or something. - Author: John Hannah
Funny Drunk Cop Quotes #769998
#11. [Ella] "Again, I ask, whose side are you on?"
[Lola] "The side that has the least Dorito-flavored vomit on the floor after the party. - Author: Dakota Cassidy
Funny Drunk Cop Quotes #758147
#12. I hate watching people blow all operational security, and spew their guts like a teenage burglar, drunk in a bar. We're professionals, for Christ's sake, and she's just a prole. - Author: Bruce Sterling
Funny Drunk Cop Quotes #657138
#13. Ivory's the kind of girl who gets drunk and immediately starts slurring. I have a lot of friends like that, and I think it's because it makes me look 'more together. - Author: Chelsea Handler
Funny Drunk Cop Quotes #607780
#14. The crowd quieted as a whole, but more than one creature cursed under his breath, "Not Regin."
A drunk hunched over the bar muttered, "That glowing one made me eat a transistor radio once. - Author: Kresley Cole
Funny Drunk Cop Quotes #596225
#15. You're not going to campus. You're going out to get drunk and play with other ladies' boobies. - Kye - Author: Krista Alasti
Funny Drunk Cop Quotes #545277
#16. He patted my shoulder. "What's up with you? All of a sudden, you're bucking the system."
"i got drunk and had an epiphany."
"Shit, this is serious!" He gasped. "Last time that happened to me, i woke up gay. - Author: J.C. Isabella
Funny Drunk Cop Quotes #538860
#17. I beg your pardon; I am drunk without a drink. English wine & words are vulnerable to every man. - Author: Santosh Kalwar
Funny Drunk Cop Quotes #13950
#18. I can't believe he didn't have the dignity and presence of mind just to get drunk and pass out in some gutter," said Jace. "I must say, I'm disappointed in the little fellow. - Author: Cassandra Clare
Funny Drunk Cop Quotes #470032
#19. I walk into the clubhouse today and it's like walking into the Mayo Clinic. We have four doctors, three therapists and five trainers. Back when I broke in, we had one trainer who carried a bottle of rubbing alcohol, and by the 7th inning he'd already drunk it. - Author: Tommy Lasorda
Funny Drunk Cop Quotes #415133
#20. Whoever said that a drunk mind speaks sober thoughts...was clearly still drunk off their ass.


-Jackson 'Blame It on the Pain - Author: Ashley Jade
Funny Drunk Cop Quotes #373052
#21. WHY did she do this? She was a terrible drunk texter. All the things she wanted to say to people during the day came out at night, like a vampire. - Author: Harriet Evans
Funny Drunk Cop Quotes #366129
#22. It's because you aren't thinking very clearly tonight."
"I know. Being Drunk is weird."
"Oh my god. I love you so much. Especially when you say stuff like that."
"Like what?"
"Nothing. Never mind. Although I'm dying to know why your shoe is green. - Author: Jessica Sorensen
Funny Drunk Cop Quotes #346437
#23. I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly. - Author: Winston Churchill
Funny Drunk Cop Quotes #306483
#24. Okay, well I think the programme is like being screamed at for an hour by a drunk with a strobe-light, but like I said
- Author: David Nicholls
Funny Drunk Cop Quotes #303911
#25. Could the two people who are making out please be quiet?" the Colonel asked loudly from his sleeping bag. "Those of us who are not making out are drunk and tired. - Author: John Green
Funny Drunk Cop Quotes #185665
#26. Glancing at the bottle of tequila in Tate's hand, Logan questioned much more calmly than he felt, "How full was that?"

Tate lifted the quarter-empty bottle and shrugged. "Unopened. Why? - Author: Ella Frank
Funny Drunk Cop Quotes #181016
#27. He was so drunk that he would have stubbornly denied that he was. - Author: Filippo Bologna
Funny Drunk Cop Quotes #113548
#28. Nahum bobbed again. 'My crest is cropped by croaking cranes. I go to drown in doleful dumps, dead-drunk with drearihead. - Author: John Bellairs
Funny Drunk Cop Quotes #109000
#29. You're drunk as four skunks, you idiot. - Author: Sherwood Smith
Funny Drunk Cop Quotes #57333
#30. Pie can't compete with cake. Put candles in a cake, it's a birthday cake. Put candles in a pie, and somebody's drunk in the kitchen. - Author: Jim Gaffigan
Funny Drunk Cop Quotes #51704
#31. I try not to laugh at the fact that even when she's drunk, she has a hard time saying it. "Where do you want me to take you?" She drops her head back against my chest. "You can just keep carrying me. It's very relaxing. - Author: Jessica Sorensen
Funny Drunk Cop Quotes #33511
#32. I came in several times and spoke, but perhaps you were asleep when I thought you were awake.'
'You are very considerate to explain it this way,' Sugreeva said, 'but I was drunk - Author: R.K. Narayan
Funny Drunk Cop Quotes #30284

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