Top 30 Funny Chinese Sayings

#1. And if ten percent of men are gay and twenty percent of men are Chinese, what are the odds that a men chosen at random spends his free time and mealtime while on his knees.

Bo Burnham

Funny Chinese Sayings #12725
#2. I really feel like there's a void in this world for music that acknowledges that spiritual aspect of these activities as well as just the sheer physicality of them.

Taraka Larson

Funny Chinese Sayings #13917
#3. You're such an imbecile, you know that?"

"Yet, here you sit next to me trying to catch my attention with your legs. Is this your way of showing me what's on offer, because I have news for you, Chelsea, I ain't buying it. So what do you want?

Heidi McLaughlin

Funny Chinese Sayings #87739
#4. Do you think pandas know they're Chinese and they're taking the one child policy a bit too seriously?

Jim Jefferies

Funny Chinese Sayings #98175
#5. Naturally the U.S. trails in gold medals because every time we win one, we hand it over to the Chinese to pay off our debt.

Stephen Colbert

Funny Chinese Sayings #186013
#6. I'll tell you what I like about Chinese people: they're hanging in there with the chop sticks, aren't they? You know they've seen the fork. They're staying with the sticks.

Jerry Seinfeld

Funny Chinese Sayings #209619
#7. It was funny, I thought, eyeing the Chinese and English logos on the crates, the names of the companies that supplied both countries, funny because our weapons to kill each other were different. But our medicines to save lives were the same.

James Abel

Funny Chinese Sayings #242903
#8. Visiting Future World is like opening a Chinese fortune cookie to read, "Soon you'll be finished with dinner."

P. J. O'Rourke

Funny Chinese Sayings #246264
#9. Ancient Chinese proverb," he said, heading toward the kitchen.
"He who butt-fucks all night wakes up with sore asshole.

Brad Boney

Funny Chinese Sayings #369430
#10. I don't need to convince anybody that I know kung fu, but maybe somebody needs to know that I really can act, without doing a Chinese accent or a funny walk.

David Carradine

Funny Chinese Sayings #558806
#11. Why can't we have racism that's ignorant but nice? You could have stereotypes that are positive about race. You could say, "Those Chinese people, they can fly!" "You know about the Puerto Ricans? They're made of candy!"

Louis C.K.

Funny Chinese Sayings #626074
#12. I was eating in a Chinese restaurant downtown. There was a dish called Mother and Child Reunion. It's chicken and eggs. And I said, I gotta use that one.

Paul Simon

Funny Chinese Sayings #772966
#13. Pun: A form of wit, to which wise men stoop and fools aspire

Ambrose Bierce

Funny Chinese Sayings #862396
#14. The one thing that can solve most of our problems is dancing.

James Brown

Funny Chinese Sayings #869843
#15. You sound like you're mentally deficient. And possibly Chinese.

Heidi Hall

Funny Chinese Sayings #880377
#16. Um ... is that thing tame?" Frank said.
The horse whinnied angrily.
"I don't think so," Percy guessed. "He just said, 'I will trample you to death, silly Chinese Canadian baby man'.

Rick Riordan

Funny Chinese Sayings #954051
#17. I was raised by extremely strict - but also extremely loving - Chinese immigrant parents, and I had the most wonderful childhood! I remember laughing constantly with my parents - my dad is a real character and very funny. I certainly did wish they allowed to me do more things!

Amy Chua

Funny Chinese Sayings #992415
#18. When I went to London, they told me I spoke with a funny accent - English with a Chinese accent.

Jean-Georges Vongerichten

Funny Chinese Sayings #1008852
#19. Last night I ordered a whole meal in French. Even the waiter was amazed - it was a Chinese restaurant!

Henny Youngman

Funny Chinese Sayings #1012643
#20. I was the female lead in a romantic comedy. It's a little indie film that we shot in China called 'America Town,' starring Daniel Henney and Bill Paxton. I actually had to speak Chinese in the film. It was funny because I found out I was doing the film and then a week later, I was in Shanghai.

Eliza Coupe

Funny Chinese Sayings #1071156
#21. Love is simple, if you allow it to be simple. Julian to Hannah, Take A Chance

Alison Wong

Funny Chinese Sayings #1106859
#22. I had a meal last night. I ordered everything in French, surprised everybody. It was a Chinese restaurant. I said to this Chinese waiter, 'Look, this chicken I got here is cold.' He said, 'It should be, it's been dead two weeks.'

Tommy Cooper

Funny Chinese Sayings #1121373
#23. They have provided a system which for terse comprehensiveness surpasses Justinian's Pandects and the By-laws of the Chinese Society for the Suppression of Meddling with other People's Business.

Herman Melville

Funny Chinese Sayings #1233907
#24. Make prayer a top priority rather than a last resort.

Mary Jane Remole

Funny Chinese Sayings #1305212
#25. So far China has won the most gold medals, ladies and gentlemen. The Chinese athletes can't wait to get home and show the medals off to the kids who made them.

Conan O'Brien

Funny Chinese Sayings #1306926
#26. Your hair looks funny," Lief said, as soon as the Ugloids left. "It stands straight up!"
No," said Nick, intensely irritated, "It's hanging straight down."
Lief just gave him an upside-down shrug. "Up is down in China and you're part-Chinese.

Neal Shusterman

Funny Chinese Sayings #1313587
#27. Last night I went out for Chinese. I picked up a Team USA Olympic uniform.

Jay Leno

Funny Chinese Sayings #1372536
#28. When a woman hath ceased to be quite the same to us, it matters little how different she becomes.

Walter Savage Landor

Funny Chinese Sayings #1554037
#29. Well, Harry Reid and other members of congress, they're just furious over this Olympic uniform deal. He says we should burn the uniforms, and it's an embarrassment and a disgrace. Not as embarrassing as congress constantly borrowing money from the Chinese, but still embarrassing.

Jay Leno

Funny Chinese Sayings #1589863
#30. Wasn't it thrilling when the U.S. Women's team took home the gold in gymnastics? A group of American teenagers getting a higher score than Chinese kids? That never happens.

Jay Leno

Funny Chinese Sayings #1598550

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