Top 29 Funny China Quotes

#1. I have a rule: I prefer anyone who doesn't try to kill me to anyone who does. I'm funny that way.

China Mieville

Funny China Quotes #9510
#2. All my wife has ever taken from the Mediterranean - from that whole vast intuitive culture - are four bottles of Chianti to make into lamps, and two china condiment donkeys labelled Sally and Peppy.

Peter Shaffer

Funny China Quotes #48161
#3. Well China, you got us. Phelps was doping - and he still beat you. He smoked the sticky-icky, and then he smoked your ass!

Stephen Colbert

Funny China Quotes #241903
#4. It was a great Olympics - Team USA finished the games with 17 more medals than China. China said it was tough to swallow - especially when they had to make all of our "We're #1" T-shirts.

Jimmy Fallon

Funny China Quotes #264177
#5. I have an organic garden and love being able to say, 'I'm going to see what I can pick to throw in my salad.'

Christie Brinkley

Funny China Quotes #271988
#6. I was on the sidewalk, buffering, wondering if it was okay to follow people in real life.

Olivia Sudjic

Funny China Quotes #317278
#7. The Republic-of-China - back in the Olympic Games for the first time

David Coleman

Funny China Quotes #393932
#8. No life is so happy and so pleasant as the life of the well-govern'd angler.

Izaak Walton

Funny China Quotes #459603
#9. He will not let you come barging in to his world like the proverbial bull in the china shop.

Laurell K. Hamilton

Funny China Quotes #549894
#10. The Spanish government, having run completely out of money, secretly sold the Pyrenees to China, and is now separated from France only by traffic cones.

Dave Barry

Funny China Quotes #580377
#11. So ... I'm the funny one? I'm the funny sidekick?
.
.
.
That's no way to talk about anyone! To say they're just hangers-on to someone more important.

China Mieville

Funny China Quotes #633378
#12. There's a deep underlying unpredictability to life that is thrilling. In China, my wife would say you go out to buy toilet paper, and you come back, and something interesting or revealing or funny happened on the way.

Evan Osnos

Funny China Quotes #640052
#13. Remember, in China when you are one in a million, there are 1,300 other people just like you.

Thomas Friedman

Funny China Quotes #1038452
#14. I was the female lead in a romantic comedy. It's a little indie film that we shot in China called 'America Town,' starring Daniel Henney and Bill Paxton. I actually had to speak Chinese in the film. It was funny because I found out I was doing the film and then a week later, I was in Shanghai.

Eliza Coupe

Funny China Quotes #1071156
#15. The human race cannot go forward without liberty. If this be correct, then all people everywhere should strive for liberty. If they achieve liberty, they will get a chance to pursue happiness and perhaps will be able to develop toward the ultimate goal of creation.

Richard E. Byrd

Funny China Quotes #1167988
#16. YOU WILL DRINK THE COFFEE UNTIL I CAN SEE MY FACE IN THE BOTTOM OF THE CUP!" I did not mean to roar. "But it's a clay cup." "I DO NOT CARE!" He finished the coffee. "You did not have to finish it," I said, because I could perceive that he was rebuilding the Great Wall of China with shit bricks.

Jonathan Safran Foer

Funny China Quotes #1266293
#17. The torture that they are coming up with in China is so creative. They have this other method where they'll take a bamboo and they'll plant it in your anus and just let it grow. So patient. Man, watch out for China, I say. They have all the ambition as we do but none of the heart.

Kristen Schaal

Funny China Quotes #1267465
#18. So far China has won the most gold medals, ladies and gentlemen. The Chinese athletes can't wait to get home and show the medals off to the kids who made them.

Conan O'Brien

Funny China Quotes #1306926
#19. Your hair looks funny," Lief said, as soon as the Ugloids left. "It stands straight up!"
No," said Nick, intensely irritated, "It's hanging straight down."
Lief just gave him an upside-down shrug. "Up is down in China and you're part-Chinese.

Neal Shusterman

Funny China Quotes #1313587
#20. Competition in rowing doesn't just come from other countries. It comes from Wall Street, med school, law school. You think Harvard and Princeton grads want to live in Chula Vista?

Mike Teti

Funny China Quotes #1337534
#21. ...every now and then I watched him beam at Olivia. He obviously adored her. And I realized that meeting her father made me look at Olivia differently. She was somebody's little girl.

Mark Peter Hughes

Funny China Quotes #1418371
#22. I'm not good with limitations. I tend to like to find my own. It hurts sometimes, but it's good. I'm little extreme in that sense - the middle ground is not my forte.

Leonor Varela

Funny China Quotes #1482441
#23. I want to congratulate all the men out there who are working diligently to be good fathers whether they are stepfathers, or biological fathers or just spiritual fathers.

T.D. Jakes

Funny China Quotes #1499422
#24. I wasn't lonely. I was just minus a plus one. I was never good at maths, anyway.

Rebecca Raisin

Funny China Quotes #1578915
#25. Another foreign-policy triumph for Reagan was his 1984 visit to China, where he met for more than three hours with Mao Zedong before realizing that Mao was dead.

Dave Barry

Funny China Quotes #1617751
#26. I was performing my ritual of sipping tea, shooting flirtatious glances and planning murder

Mingmei Yip

Funny China Quotes #1674949
#27. I think it would be difficult to get drunk in China. I tried to drink some beer with chop sticks and it took me a whole day to finish one can.

Jerry Snider

Funny China Quotes #1705085
#28. That's what gets converts these days," Baron said. "It's a buyers' market in apocalypse. What's hot in heresy's Armageddon.

China Mieville

Funny China Quotes #1717290
#29. I guess you heard about this; the U.S. Olympic Committee is coming under fire after it was revealed that the uniforms for Team USA to be worn in the opening ceremony were made in China. Turns out they were made by some of the same kids who could beat us in gymnastics. That's the worst part.

Jay Leno

Funny China Quotes #1828462

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