Funny Charity Quotes

#1. I've purged myself of worldly goods; half my stuff is either being sold or going to charity. I need to go shopping.

Christy Leigh Stewart

#2. A marciful Providunce fashioned us holler O' purpose thet we might our principles swaller.

James Russell Lowell

#3. Don't be afraid," he said. "Art is full of agony and beauty. The pen itself a sword of pleasure and pain, isn't it, my poet?

Lisa Carlisle

#4. It's the South that maintains the idea that they're different, which is interesting because nobody else really cares.

Josh Lucas

#5. We are prone to judge success by the index of our salaries or the size of our automobiles rather than by the quality of our service and relationship to mankind.

Martin Luther King Jr.

#6. Those for whom words have lost their value are likely to find that ideas have also lost their value.

Edwin Newman

#7. I went to a pizzeria. The guy gave me the smallest slice possible. If the pizza was a pie chart with what would you do if you found a million dollars, he gave me the "Donate it to charity" slice. "I'd like to exchange this for the 'Keep it!'"

Mitch Hedberg

#8. Wen you're a married man, Samivel, you'll understand a good many things as you don't understand now; but vether it's worth while goin' through so much to learn so little, as the charity-boy sand ven he go to the end of the alphabet, it's a matter of taste.

Charles Dickens

#9. These motivational tapes have really inspired me! I'm going to make a million dollars, buy my own company and retire early. Then, I'm going to write a novel and a symphony and give all the profits to charity. Then next month, I'll figure out how to do it.

Randy Glasbergen

#10. My dogs are a priority and a big responsibility ... but the payoffs are well worth it.

Will Estes

#11. Seriously, if the bastards cheat on you, then they don't deserve you anyway. If that's a legit fear, then you probably shouldn't be with them to begin with.

Kody Keplinger

#12. Blood of my blood, bone of my bone ... ' " "I give ye my body, that we may be one,

Diana Gabaldon

#13. My husband. He keeps me grounded. If I were in the world on my own, it would all be much more seductive. But I'm in a relationship that has nothing to do with the film world.

Emily Watson

#14. Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

Erma Bombeck

#15. The skirts of the gods Drag in our mud. We feel the touch And take it to be a kiss.

Christopher Fry

#16. True charity ought to begin in marriage, for it is a relationship that must be rebuilt every day.

James E. Faust

#17. A lot of young people don't think they can make a difference. That's really what I am at Dartmouth to do. I'm there to tell the young people, 'Look, a few committed souls can change the world.'

Jim Yong Kim

#18. If you mean the ease with which you drop coins when you're off a-cunting, you're right. You're a one-man charity ball for the whores of Camorr, you are

Scott Lynch

#19. I saw a charity appeal in the Guardian the other day, and it read "Little Zuki has to walk 13 miles a day just to fetch water". And I couldn't help thinking, she should move.

Jimmy Carr