Top 33 Funny Butcher Sayings
#1. Brooke?" he finally found the sense to ask. "What are you doing here?"
"I need a gun."
This was not how his dream was supposed to go.
Shannon K. Butcher
#3. (One does not simply walk into Mordor--except that was exactly what everyone in the story did anyway.)
Jim Butcher
#4. My wife went into the butchers and said: "You've a sheep's head in your window." The butcher said: "That's a mirror."
Frank Carson
#5. BLARGLE SLORG NOTH HARGHLE FTHAGN! You know. The usual.
Jim Butcher
#6. Bob, would you be willing to take on Evil Bob?"
Bob's eyes darted nervously. "I'd ... prefer not to. I'd really, really prefer not to. You have no idea. That me was crazy. And buff. He worked out.
Jim Butcher
#7. Mortimer Lindquist seemed to have finally given in to the inevitable. I'd seen him with a bad toupee, and with an even worse comb-over, but this was the first time I'd seen him sporting a full-on Charles Xavier.
Jim Butcher
#8. I sometimes give myself excellent advice. Occasionally, I even listen to it.
Jim Butcher
#9. None of my issues have included memory loss or unconscious actions," she said.
Thomas squinted back at her. "If they had, how would you know it?"
Molly frowned. "Valid point.
Jim Butcher
#10. I went to the butchers to buy a leg of lamb. "Is it Scotch?", I asked. "Why?" the butcher said in reply. "Are you going to talk to it or eat it?". "In that case, have you got any wild duck?". "No", he responded, "but I've got one I could aggravate for you."
Chic Murray
#11. The wacky thing about those bad guys is that you can't count on them to be obvious. They forget to wax their mustaches and goatees, leave their horns at home, send their black hats to the dry cleaner's. They're funny like that.
Jim Butcher
#12. Try not to look like that," Ascher said under breath, after we were in the elevator.
"Like what?" I asked.
"Like you're expecting ninjas to leap out of the trash cans. This is a party."
"Everyone knows there's no such things as ninjas," I scoffed. "But it will be something. Count on it.
Jim Butcher
#13. That woman," Grimm said quietly, "drives me quite insane."
Kettle grunted. "Why'd you marry her, then?
Jim Butcher
#14. If you turn into a hideous monster and I am sent to slay you, I will remember this and make it as painless as I can, out of respect for you.
Jim Butcher
#15. You think you're funny." "Oh, I know I'm funny. Unappreciated, but funny.
Jim Butcher
#16. Then this," Grimm said, "is what I believe professional inquisitors refer to as a clue."
"In my considered judgment as an occasional inquisitor for the Spirearch," Benedict said, "I believe you may be correct.
Jim Butcher
#17. Let come the forces of night! We will stand!"
"We will get the hell out of here is what we will do," I muttered.
Jim Butcher
#18. I walked in on my wife and the milkman, the first thing she says is "don't tell the butcher"!
Rodney Dangerfield
#21. I had bitten into my tongue, and I either had to spit or swallow. I swallowed. No comments, please.
Jim Butcher
#22. Where do you find a stomach on a Thursday afternoon in Reno? "Chinatown?" suggests someone. "Costco?" "Butcher Boys." Tracy pulls his phone from a pocket. "Hello, I'm from the university" - the catchall preamble for unorthodox inquiries.
Mary Roach
#23. He had noticed my bandaged hand.
"An accident," Warthrop said tersely.
"Dr. Warthrop chopped off my finger with a butcher knife."
Von Helrung's brow knotted up in confusion. "By accident?"
"No," I answered. "That part was on purpose.
Rick Yancey
#24. What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife.
Rodney Dangerfield
#25. Fear is a funny thing. In the right light, even tiny and insignificant fears can suddenly grow, swelling up to monstrous proportions.
Jim Butcher
#26. Kestus idly added theoretical torture to the theoretical murder, because done right, it might be funny.
Jim Butcher
#27. What the hell kind of Hell was this supposed to be?
Jim Butcher
#28. Home is where, when you go there and tell people to get out, they have to leave.
Jim Butcher
#29. In the void, there is no distinction of east and west."
Gwen blinked slightly at that. "I know all of those words, and yet when strung together like that I have no idea what they mean.
Jim Butcher
#30. Okay. Take a peek, but I swear if you try anything funny, I'll beat your head in with my flashlight.
Shannon K. Butcher
#31. They always have good coffee here," Ebenezar said a few moments later. "And they don't call it funny names," I said. "It's just coffee. Not frappalattegrandechino.
Jim Butcher
#32. He was wrong, that doesn't make him a villian. That makes him an asshole.
Jim Butcher
#33. Tropical trees had been planted throughout the room, along with bright flowering plants that were busy committing the olfactory floral equivalent of aggravated assault.
Jim Butcher
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