Funny Alcohol Famous Quotes & Sayings

List of top 34 famous quotes and sayings about funny alcohol to read and share with friends on your Facebook, Twitter, blogs.

Top 34 Funny Alcohol Quotes

#1. Is that all you bought?" His eyes shot to the left. "Um." I clenched my teeth. "What else?" "A Super Mega Juicer," he said quickly. "But, Sabina, seriously that juicer is a miracle machine." "I'm a vampire, Giguhl. The only liquids I drink are blood and alcohol. I don't do juice. - Author: Jaye Wells
Funny Alcohol Quotes #89585
#2. I live on shameless flattery ... and vodka ... but the two usually go hand in hand. - Author: Vicktor Alexander
Funny Alcohol Quotes #97938
#3. He was so drunk that he would have stubbornly denied that he was. - Author: Filippo Bologna
Funny Alcohol Quotes #113548
#4. I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here is one I would suggest: Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was. - Author: George Carlin
Funny Alcohol Quotes #117029
#5. I think that comedy is a good defense for a child. Because you know childhood is a nightmare as it is. And so why not use comedy and being funny as a defense to get through your life as opposed to drugs, alcohol and good looks? Because those things are dangerous when your young. - Author: Joy Behar
Funny Alcohol Quotes #136084
#6. Glancing at the bottle of tequila in Tate's hand, Logan questioned much more calmly than he felt, "How full was that?"

Tate lifted the quarter-empty bottle and shrugged. "Unopened. Why? - Author: Ella Frank
Funny Alcohol Quotes #181016
#7. There have been two great narcotics in European civilisation: Christianity and alcohol. - Author: Friedrich Nietzsche
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#8. Whoever said that a drunk mind speaks sober thoughts...was clearly still drunk off their ass.


-Jackson 'Blame It on the Pain - Author: Ashley Jade
Funny Alcohol Quotes #373052
#9. I walk into the clubhouse today and it's like walking into the Mayo Clinic. We have four doctors, three therapists and five trainers. Back when I broke in, we had one trainer who carried a bottle of rubbing alcohol, and by the 7th inning he'd already drunk it. - Author: Tommy Lasorda
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#10. Civilization begins with distillation - Author: William Faulkner
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#11. I would never do crack ... I would never do a drug named after a part of my own ass, okay? - Author: Denis Leary
Funny Alcohol Quotes #457350
#12. Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine. - Author: Dave Moulton
Funny Alcohol Quotes #514433
#13. I enjoy cooking with wine, sometimes I even put it in the food I'm cooking. - Author: Julia Child
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#14. Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers and boys used to dress like their fathers.
Now girls drink like their fathers and boys dress like their mothers. - Author: Habeeb Akande
Funny Alcohol Quotes #677781
#15. As we celebrate Recovery Month, it is time for Congress to knock down the barriers to treatment and recovery for 26 million Americans suffering the ravages of alcohol and drug addiction. - Author: Jim Ramstad
Funny Alcohol Quotes #742636
#16. You always miss 100% of the shots you don't order - Author: Josh Stern
Funny Alcohol Quotes #760449
#17. Each one you take is a commitment. If you break that commitment, the gods of alcohol will punish you with a hangover so bad you'll think Satan himself took a dump on you. -Milo - Author: Cora Carmack
Funny Alcohol Quotes #768564
#18. So what are you planning to do with the rest of your life?
Develop a drinking problem. More Scotch, please. - Author: Daniel Silva
Funny Alcohol Quotes #800789
#19. I like liquor - its taste and its effects - and that is just the reason why I never drink it. - Author: Stonewall Jackson
Funny Alcohol Quotes #824050
#20. I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know. - Author: W.C. Fields
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#21. Alcohol does not make ugly people attractive. It makes it so you could care less that they're ugly. - Author: Doug Stanhope
Funny Alcohol Quotes #915591
#22. I drank to be funny, or sexy. I drank because I was afraid or happy or sad, and I drank for anything that required emotional commitment ... I had chosen a profession that thrives on insecurity, and is never far from some source of social intercourse that involves alcohol or drugs. - Author: Lynda Bellingham
Funny Alcohol Quotes #1026621
#23. What is your advice to young writers?"
"Drink, fuck and smoke plenty of cigarettes. - Author: Charles Bukowski
Funny Alcohol Quotes #1155207
#24. Ozzy, God bless him, is super talented. He is a great man. He is a man of heart and soul and goodwill. He is a very funny man but he is a perfect poster child of why I have never touched drugs, alcohol, tobacco or fast food. - Author: Ted Nugent
Funny Alcohol Quotes #1179115
#25. I like to quote Homer Simpson: 'I'm like a chocoholic except for alcohol.' I come from a long line of alcoholics. It's funny because when I first started making records, I was at the tail end of a period of sobriety, so I somehow got this reputation as Captain Sober. - Author: Moby
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#26. According to a brand new report, alcohol abuse in Ireland is on the rise. Mainly because the guy who didn't drink now does. - Author: Conan O'Brien
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#27. Liver failure is the easiest way to say 'no' to alcohol. - Author: Bauvard
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#28. Drunken men give some of the best pep talks. - Author: Criss Jami
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#29. Everybody funny, now you funny too. - Author: George Thorogood
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#30. They should raise the alcohol age to 60, so at least you'd have something to look forward to at this point. - Author: Doug Stanhope
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#31. Tradition or not, I sometimes thought putting children on an old guy's lap was already creepy enough. We didn't need to mix alcohol into it. - Author: Richelle Mead
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#32. Now, my intention was to drink just enough to dull the senses, but intentions should never be mixed with alcohol. - Author: Kirt J. Boyd
Funny Alcohol Quotes #1665970
#33. If you drink anymore, you're going to be positively flammable. - Author: Michaela Haze
Funny Alcohol Quotes #1681624
#34. I'll drink your champagne. I'll drink every drop of it, I don't care if it kills me. - Author: F Scott Fitzgerald
Funny Alcohol Quotes #1817204

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