Top 20 Funny Aids Quotes
#1. And while all of your friends are grieving at your wake, I hope the sprinkler system turns on and sprays them with AIDS, hepatitis C and liquified genital warts. And while they're all running out and crying, I hope one of them slips and accidentally molests a child.
Jim Norton
#2. When I was younger I used to think that band-aids did all the work. I mean after all, it binds your wound together and makes everything better back to the way it was. But then I became an adult and started to fall in love,fvi and I realize that band-aids are so overrated lol.
Onee'sha Ford
#3. It was his habit, when he rewrote anything, to shed himself of all earlier versions. He kept a clean house.
Barbara Kingsolver
#4. Men have sacrificed and crippled themselves physically and emotionally to feed, house, and protect women and children. None of their pain or achievement is registered in feminist rhetoric, which portrays men as oppressive and callous exploiters.
Camille Paglia
#5. Music is a secret and unconscious mathematical problem of the soul.
Gottfried Leibniz
#6. It's funny ... you can make fun of AIDS or Haiti, but if you make fun of some starlet in Hollywood's looks? That's like the one thing ... the line you are not to cross.
Daniel Tosh
#7. That place is so behind the times, you can't even get AIDS there yet.
Doug Stanhope
#8. As humourless a lump of dough as ever held a torchlight vigil outside the South African Embassy or stuck an AIDS awareness ribbon on an unwilling first-nighter.
Stephen Fry
#9. I had AIDS, but I beat it with Advil.
Jim Norton
#10. All right, funny man. Some of the shite I've seen in the last couple o' years makes AIDS monkeys sound downright sensible.
Garth Ennis
#11. If you have to do something, write me a funny AIDS play. Sure you can. It's the biggest joke played on us since sex itself - and with the longest punch line.
Robert Patrick
#12. When God gives you AIDS - and God does give you AIDS, by the way - make lemonAIDS.
Sarah Silverman
#13. I hope you slip in a puddle of AIDS and crack your head open
Jim Norton
#14. I'm doing a very funny show in which we talk about issues. I speak at Aids charities and things. It's great to do something fun with our days and yet we're told we're doing something important.
Eric McCormack
#15. I think it would be funny if you died of full blown AIDS. then I can take a crap on your grave after they bury you.
Nickolaus Pacione
#16. These three brothers were not afforded the opportunity to defend themselves in a court of law. They were not given a fair and public trial. Paramilitaries, under the command of senior Ministry of Interior officials, denied them these rights and shot them in cold blood.
Garry Robbins
#17. I wish I had AIDS so I could bite somebody.
Jim Norton
#18. The terror of the atom age is not the violence of the new power but the speed of man's adjustment to it, the speed of his acceptance.
E.B. White
#19. On the rare occasions when my family talked about business, the subject was Kansas City's Boss Pendergast and his potential for muscling my dad's small gravel-and-sand operation.
Carol Loomis
#20. I don't get the regular AIDS test anymore. I get the roundabout AIDS test. I ask my friend Brian, "Do you know anybody who has AIDS?". He says, "No". I say, "Cool, because you know me."
Mitch Hedberg
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