List of top 27 famous quotes and sayings about funny 1 sentence to read and share with friends on your Facebook, Twitter, blogs.

Top 27 Funny 1 Sentence Quotes

#1. I'll have a sentence in my head that's kind of beautiful and interesting, but I'm not sure why or where it's coming from. So it's kind of funny, because when people point out patterns or themes, it's the exact opposite of my film school experience.

Don Hertzfeldt

Funny 1 Sentence Quotes #71330
#2. I was on my bus, and on my bus I have a yoga swing. Jennifes comes on, and she goes, ' Hi, Woody, I'm J
is that a sex swing?' Her first sentence to me.

Woody Harrelson

Funny 1 Sentence Quotes #114837
#3. Carol turned around quickly as if stifling an urge to lunge at Max. He turned back to Max, straining to appear genial. "Okay," he said, "but will you come over here and put your head in my mouth again?"
Max continued to back up, "No, Carol. I don't want to right now.

Dave Eggers

Funny 1 Sentence Quotes #142753
#4. Now, four years out of high school, I'm in an environment where people appreciate personality over appearance, and that makes me happy.

Connor Franta

Funny 1 Sentence Quotes #192955
#5. I no longer scramble blindly through hardship. I no longer emerge from a bad time feeling relieved just to have survived. Instead of despairing, I try to find the lesson within the experience.

Halle Berry

Funny 1 Sentence Quotes #458829
#6. A good trader has to have three things: a chronic inability to accept things at face value, to feel continuously unsettled, and to have humility.

Michael Steinhardt

Funny 1 Sentence Quotes #475195
#7. Sometimes if I really want to get someone's attention, I'll start a sentence with something like, "I'm not racist, but ... " I say, "I'm not racist, but you look great today." They say, "That wasn't racist at all." I said, "I know. I said I'm not racist. You never listen. Typical Mexican."

Demetri Martin

Funny 1 Sentence Quotes #523726
#8. My family was totally non-religious. There was no question we were Jewish, but we were not observant.

Elayne Boosler

Funny 1 Sentence Quotes #608389
#9. Rick to Herschel: My wife is pregnant. That is either a gift here, or a death sentence out there.

The Walking Dead

Funny 1 Sentence Quotes #642221
#10. Worries flow from her lips like the random words that flow from her fingertips. I reach out and try to catch them, clenching them in my fists, wanting nothing more than to catch them all.

Colleen Hoover

Funny 1 Sentence Quotes #674817
#11. It's funny, though, speaking of fathers and sons, because me and John Goodman played father and son, like, five or six years ago in the film 'Death Sentence,' and I got back with him again in 'Inside Llewyn Davis.'

Garrett Hedlund

Funny 1 Sentence Quotes #680640
#12. I don't smoke a lot of pot anymore. No one wants to hang around a guy who ends every sentence with, "Do you guys hate me?"

Mike Birbiglia

Funny 1 Sentence Quotes #809388
#13. In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence.

Steven Wright

Funny 1 Sentence Quotes #907132
#14. Principal Totty was one of those people who frown while they're speaking, and then smile at the end of each sentence. It was weird. It was like there were two different people inside her brain.

Ferguson Fartworthy

Funny 1 Sentence Quotes #964669
#15. Marriage is like pleading guilty to an indefinite sentence. Without parole.

John Mortimer

Funny 1 Sentence Quotes #975108
#16. And the Milky Way, like a great aurora, flowed through his body to stand at the edges of the earth. There was a quiet, chilly loneliness in it, and a sort of voluptuous astonishment.

Yasunari Kawabata

Funny 1 Sentence Quotes #1050778
#17. The cool thing about doing a voice-over into a different language is that you get to bring the character of your own culture into it.

Bridgit Mendler

Funny 1 Sentence Quotes #1091928
#18. The end of a season is not the completion of a destiny.

Jamie Larbi

Funny 1 Sentence Quotes #1153446
#19. Why do people who can talk right waste so many words saying nothing?

Vince Vawter

Funny 1 Sentence Quotes #1275116
#20. You know when you mix butt and Angel in the same sentence, it becomes an insult," I say and take a big gulp from the can. With his back to me, he says, "Trust me, I would never dream of insulting your butt. I'm sure it's better than anything I'm cooking out here.

Rucy Ban

Funny 1 Sentence Quotes #1459208
#21. It's funny, Vasher thought, How many things begin with my getting thrown into prison.

Brandon Sanderson

Funny 1 Sentence Quotes #1615236
#22. It's funny,' I noted in the diary, 'how often I seem to build a story around one sentence, nearly always the last one, too. The themes are a bit depressing but I just can't get rid of that.

Daphne Du Maurier

Funny 1 Sentence Quotes #1695810
#23. Funny how any sentence that started with "honestly" usually wasn't.

Jay Bell

Funny 1 Sentence Quotes #1715036
#24. Harper said, "But Snuffleupagus was real."
"That is the most wonderful sentence I have ever heard. I want that on my gravestone. Snuffleupagus was real. No more. Just that.

Joe Hill

Funny 1 Sentence Quotes #1724066
#25. Being a parent is a life sentence. From the day that kid is born until the day you die. And then some. Mum, there is nothing to forgive. You gave me life. And, hey, you're not crazy anymore. Everybody thinks I am. Real funny, mum.

Christopher Titus

Funny 1 Sentence Quotes #1788016
#26. Coming up through the ranks of any calling can be rough, but that battered soul who survives the early years of courting the comic muse comes close to knowing what only the soldier knows: What combat is like.

Dick Cavett

Funny 1 Sentence Quotes #1789217
#27. I don't think of any sentence as a "one-liner", but I do pay attention to how people actually speak when they are being funny. Rhythm is key.

Lorrie Moore

Funny 1 Sentence Quotes #1791777

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