Top 100 Fran Quotes
#1. All the time I'm not writing I feel like a criminal. It's horrible to feel felonious every second of the day. It's much more relaxing to actually write.
Fran Lebowitz
#2. If you're going to America, bring your own food.
Fran Lebowitz
#3. The thing you love right away, don't do it, because that's the very thing that's going to be your addiction for the rest of your life.
Fran Lebowitz
#4. If I lived in another country, like a country that was, say, an enemy of the United States, I would be more amused than I am.
Fran Lebowitz
#5. I've gone very far, far away, but my character keeps me close to home.
Fran Drescher
#6. that) but because God thought the whole thing up first. Fran illustrates this with the Sistine Chapel in Rome, where Michelangelo portrays the creation of
William Edgar
#7. A dog who thinks he is a man's best friend is a dog who obviously has never met a tax lawyer.
Fran Lebowitz
#8. There are two modes of transport in Los Angeles: car and ambulance. Visitors who wish to remain inconspicuous are advised to choose the latter
Fran Lebowitz
#9. Donald Trump is not my fault. You can blame certain things on me, but not Donald Trump.
Fran Lebowitz
#10. I'm such a slow writer I have no need for anything as fast as a word processor. I don't need anything so snappy. I write so slowly that I could write in my own blood without hurting myself.
Fran Lebowitz
#11. Telling someone he looks healthy isn't a compliment
it's a second opinion.
Fran Lebowitz
#12. The great thing about New Jersey is that it's close to New York.
Fran Lebowitz
#13. Please don't encourage or espouse e-piracy...the sharing, swapping, or trading of e-books is outlawed by the DMCA unless authorized by the copyright holder.
Fran Lee
#14. I have the exact opposite problem of every writer I've ever met: Every writer I've ever met writes things that are too long, and they have to edit them down.
Fran Lebowitz
#16. The downfall of most diets is that they restrict your intake of food.
Fran Lebowitz
#17. Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep.
Fran Lebowitz
#18. I tried to quash my anger and fear. If I was being set up to fail, then I would fail spectacularly.
Fran Wilde
#19. I wanted to be an actor from a young age, but actually becoming one and seen the ugly side of the world does feel different and sometimes unwelcome. There are shallow, vapid, untalented people zombieing the streets of Hollywood, adding decadence and immorality to an already extravagant business.
Fran Kranz
#20. I walk a lot in New York, not for the exercise but to get from place to place, and because it's the way of having the least contact with human beings.
Fran Lebowitz
#21. I don't like the kind of country living where you have to help. I like country living where there is help.
Fran Lebowitz
#22. Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step - it is an old business procedure.
Fran Lebowitz
#23. By the time everyone catches up with you, you're bored.
Fran Lebowitz
#24. My desire to curtail undue freedom of speech extends only to such public areas as restaurants, airports, streets, hotel lobbies, parks, and department stores. Verbal exchanges between consenting adults in private are as of little interest to me as they probably are to them.
Fran Lebowitz
#25. When I'm supposed to be writing I clean my apartment, take my clothes to the laundry, get organized, make lists, do the dishes. I would never do a dish unless I had to write.
Fran Lebowitz
#26. The only appropriate response to the question, 'Can I be frank?' is, 'Yes, if I can be Barbara.
Fran Lebowitz
#27. Quarterbacks need to make their team better. If it's a bad team, they can even make a bad team better.
Fran Tarkenton
#28. It's very disheartening to encounter a fearful twenty-one year old. They haven't earned the right to be that afraid. It's not like we're living in war-torn Bosnia or something.
Fran Lebowitz
#29. The failure to be perfect does not mean you are not a success; it is giving your best that helps you to understand the joy of receiving.
Fran Tarkenton
#30. It never occurs to one to think whether she is pretty or ugly. One just surrenders to her charm.
Francois Mauriac
#31. Well I could have been just a writer. I had been a hair dresser. I could have stuck with that.
Fran Drescher
#32. I never wanted to have any extra money, if it meant having to have any extra work.
Fran Lebowitz
#33. If, while watching the sun set on a used-car lot in Los Angeles, you are struck by the parallels between this image and the inevitable fate of humanity, do not, under any circumstances, write it down.
Fran Lebowitz
#34. As a professional actor, I don't have much choice about what I've gotten into. I tend to be cast in comedies and I'm fine with that.
Fran Kranz
#35. Will power is not telling anybody you quit smoking.
Fran Lebowitz
#36. I had uterine cancer, which is the most under-funded and under-researched of all the female cancers.
Fran Drescher
#38. I must take issue with the term 'a mere child', for it has been my invariable experience that the company of a mere child is infinitely preferable to that of a mere adult.
Fran Lebowitz
#39. To Fran, for choosing me over a rich guy.
John Hafnor
#40. White grapes are very attractive but when it comes to dessert people generally like cake with icing.
Fran Lebowitz
#41. Twenty-four-hour room service generally refers to the length of time that it takes for the club sandwich to arrive. This is indeeddisheartening, particularly when you've ordered scrambled eggs.
Fran Lebowitz
#42. It is not good form to take a Trick out unless one is so firmly established as to be able to afford being associated with someone who might at any given moment write a poem in public.
Fran Lebowitz
#43. I have been dairy free for several years, and I started because I felt it was going to reduce my allergies, which it did, and help me lose weight, which it did.
Fran Drescher
#44. I felt ridiculously self-conscious, like the stick of celery at a luxurious buffet.
Fran Macilvey
#45. Luckily when you drive a cab there are two things: You don't have a boss in the cab with you, and you are not facing the people that you are making money from.
Fran Lebowitz
#46. Those who use the word 'lifestyle' are rarely in possession of either.
Fran Lebowitz
#47. Inhabitants of underdeveloped nations and victims of natural disasters are the only people who have ever been happy to see soybeans.
Fran Lebowitz
#48. If your sexual fantasies were truly of interest to others, they would no longer be fantasies.
Fran Lebowitz
#49. Horror is so often a 'thinkless' genre, sort of considered popcorn movies, but you really put a lot of, not just heart and soul, but a lot of physical energy into it.
Fran Kranz
#50. Because I was young, I had this long hair, and people used to try to tip me with joints.
Fran Lebowitz
#51. There is something enormously compelling about Fran Cutler. She is a thrilling bundle of energy and enthusiasm.
Kate Reardon
#52. If people don't want to listen to you, what makes you think they want to hear from your sweater?
Fran Lebowitz
#53. I'm not a Communist. I'm an American. I'm a capitalist. I mean, I'm not a very good capitalist, myself. I'm not very good at it, but it's not that I'm not for capitalism. But people who believe in things like corporate citizenship, it's idiotic. I mean, it shows you're an idiot.
Fran Lebowitz
#54. The only thing to do with tears is water your flowers with them, so that there is something to show the world when the sun comes out.
Fran Macilvey
#55. That which we call civilization is merely the accumulated debris of a chilling number of bad nights.
Fran Lebowitz
#56. As far as people whose style interests me, I'd say Grace Kelly, Gwen, Spice Girls, Victoria Beckham, and that nanny called Fran.
Iggy Azalea
#57. They say love is blind, but for me it's the opposite. It makes me see the good in him, too, which is why I can never hate him.'
Mom (Fran)
Jack Gantos
#58. Often, the truly great and valuable lessons we learn in life are learned through pain. That's why they call it "growing pains." It's all about yin and yang. And that's not something you order off column A at your local Chinese restaurant.
Fran Drescher
#59. Life is something you do when you can't get to sleep.
Fran Lebowitz
#60. Illness is the great equalizer. It doesn't matter who you are, rich or poor, young or old, fat or thin, sick is sick.
Fran Drescher
#61. Knowingness is sexy. The opposite of sexy is naivete.
Fran Lebowitz
#62. That I am totally devoid of sympathy for, or interest in, the world of groups is directly attributable to the fact that my two greatest needs and desires - smoking cigarettes and plotting revenge - are basically solitary pursuits.
Fran Lebowitz
#63. Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.
Fran Lebowitz
#65. Every time you go to the doctor and get a good report, the odds keep staking more in your favour.
Fran Drescher
#66. Sorrow is allowed, sorrow is advised; all we have to do is let go, all we have to do is love.
Gregoire Delacourt
#67. You cannot simply tap your creative nature once and then expect to be done with it. It is a lifelong process: a continual commitment to being open to possibility, trusting your instincts, experimenting, taking risks, and revising.
Fran Sorin
#68. Perhaps the least cheering statement ever made on the subject of art is that life imitates it.
Fran Lebowitz
#69. Modern science was largely conceived of as an answer to the servant problem and ... it is generally practiced by those who lack a flair for conversation.
Fran Lebowitz
#70. In Rome people spend most of their time having lunch. And they do it very well - Rome is unquestionably the lunch capital of the world.
Fran Lebowitz
#73. Any artist who has that quality of timelessness has that quality because they tell the truth.
Fran Lebowitz
#74. And remember, it's also very funny, because side by side with grief lies joy.
Fran Drescher
#75. Cultivate your desire for success to be greater than the fear of failure; Failure is merely a pitstop between where you stand and success. Failure allows you to learn the fastest; Failure inspires winners and defeats losers.
Fran Tarkenton
#76. When I was young, I liked romance. But to me, romance is the opposite of domestic life. I just don't want anyone in the apartment, not for longer than a few hours.
Fran Lebowitz
#77. If I go to a concert or sporting event I usually go in a VIP entrance. And leave the same way.
Fran Drescher
#78. I've lived, laughed, lost, and loved again the whole Shakespearian thing.
Fran Drescher
#79. I don't like to read nonfiction. To me, fact is something I can look up.
Fran Lebowitz
#80. The world was bursting with opportunity. If you didn't like who you were, it was time to reinvent yourself and try again. It was a disservice to the universe to cheat everyone of your talents. And
Fran Seen
#81. If you wait for the right time or the good times to start a business, you wait all your life.
Fran Tarkenton
#82. In fact, we live in a culture where intelligence, exceptional or not, is reviled.
Fran Lebowitz
#83. There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior.
Fran Lebowitz
#84. Citizen's Band radio renders one accessible to a wide variety of people from all walks of life. It should not be forgotten that all walks of life include conceptual artists, dry cleaners, and living poets.
Fran Lebowitz
#86. But you have to remember, Fran, she's too old to change, but you are getting old enough to understand that.
Stephen King
#87. There are some short essays that are very grave, and most contemporary novels are lighter than air.
Fran Lebowitz
#88. There is one thing that has disappeared, not just from the U.S. but from the entire world, is the idea of ever being embarrassed by anything.
Fran Lebowitz
#89. For me, the feeling of my hands in the dirt offers a deep, primordial
connection with the earth. When I am working the earth, I am at peace. It feels so right and so good.
Fran Sorin
#90. When I wake up, I open my eyes very slowly, so anything that may be in my room has a chance to hide.
Fran Krause
#91. If there were, say, only 10 percent of the hotels that exist now, there would be all these apartments for people who live in New York, as opposed to people visiting New York. And then all this junk in the theater, we would no longer need the kind of stuff that tourists like.
Fran Lebowitz
#92. I love walking my feet off. Gimme a map and a box of Band-Aids and I'm all set!
Fran Drescher
#93. You don't have to lay an egg to know if it tastes good.
Fran Lebowitz
#94. This, too, was part of losing Fran: watching all the things she'd made better with her presence fade blacker than they'd been before she came along.
Seanan McGuire
#95. Chocolate is an excellent flavor for ice cream but both unreasonable and disconcerting in chewing gum.
Fran Lebowitz
#96. I discovered that the more I hustled, the luckier I seemed to get.
Fran Tarkenton
#97. I write a sentence a thousand times, changing it all the time to look at it in different ways.
Fran Lebowitz
#98. I always liked people who are older. Of course, every year it gets harder to find them.
Fran Lebowitz
#99. Anyone who turns love between two consenting adults into a negative, doesn't understand the meaning of the word.
Fran Drescher
#100. I've never seen the Kardashians; I'm not sure who they are. But I know a lot about them because it's impossible not to.
Fran Lebowitz
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