Food Puns Quotes

#1. Mr. Pettifor, I've brought you lunch, Sir." "Leave it on my desk," he grouses. "It's your favorite, Sir, a Reuben with au jus," I say softly.

Ella Dominguez

#2. There's a guy in the audience with a distinctive laugh. I hope that guy is miked. The only problem with having a distinctive laugh is I know exactly when that guy isn't laughing. "Oh, distinctive laugh doesn't think that joke was funny!"

Mitch Hedberg

#3. You must act in your friends' interests whether it pleases them or not; the object of love is to serve, not to win.

Woodrow Wilson

#4. Every suicide is a solution to a problem.

Jean Baechler

#5. Take a walk with a turtle. And behold the world in pause.

Bruce Feiler

#6. At my high school, there were always kids carrying acoustic guitars around, which is why I named my band the Mountain Goats. I didn't want to seem like one of those guys who brought his guitar to the party whether you asked him to or not.

John Darnielle

#7. I think I had actually served my apprenticeship as a writer of fiction by writing all those songs. I had already been through phases of autobiographical or experimental stuff.

Kazuo Ishiguro

#8. Had a cold hummus with pita bread,
Under a delicious food, yellow or red.
Might just have the appetite to cook
Urgent dinner by hook or crook.
So that's just a humus humor spread.

Ana Claudia Antunes

#9. Guilt is a hunter.
Fate is a hunter.
Shame is a hunter.
Fear is a hunter.

Ruta Sepetys

#10. Only the police should have handguns.

William J. Clinton

#11. My ability to keep cool in a crisis is based entirely on not knowing all the facts.

Garrison Keillor