Top 65 Eve Rosser Quotes
#1. Bite Me!-Shane Collins to Eve Rosser.
The Morganville Vampire Series
Rachel Caine
#2. And about Shane, I swear, if he doesn't snap out of it, I'm going to punch him in the face. Well, punch him in the face and then run like hell.
- Eve Rosser
Rachel Caine
#3. You ever have that happen where you meet someone and just
clash? We were like a gravel and cream sandwhich."
"That is the weirdest thing you have ever said. I suppose you were the cream?" "Of course I was the cream. Sha."
Eve Rosser, The Drama Queen's Last Dance (Rachel Caine)
P.C. Cast
#4. I wish the dryer were running, because man, I could use a good ... tumble dry.-Eve Rosser
Rachel Caine
#6. Because you've got guy parts, you're automatically a better mechanic than me? I don't think so, Eve said, and bailed out of the passenger side.
Rachel Caine
#7. I'm worried he's going to ... do something crazy."
"He lives in a hole in the ground, dresses funny and occasionally eats his assistants," Eve said. "Define crazy."
Claire closed her eyes. "Okay. I think he wants to put my brain in a jar and wire it into the machine."
Dead silence.
Rachel Caine
#8. Oh, he is cute!" Shane said in a fake girly voice. "Gee, maybe we can ask him out!"
"Shut up, you weasel. Claire, hit him!
Rachel Caine
#9. Right, that was awkward. Eve, you stay and ... , bake or something."
"The hell I will.
Rachel Caine
#10. It's your chili dog. Clean it up."
"It's your turn to clean."
"The house. Not your trash, which you can walk your leatherfaced-ass unto the kitchen to throw away.
Rachel Caine
#11. Am I not ninja enough? Are you saying that I lack ninja?
Rachel Caine
#12. Afternoons are hard. Mornings are pure evil from the pits of hell, which is why I don't do them anymore.
Rachel Caine
#13. As the resident dude, Shane was responsible for the acquisition of party favors, like glow-in-the-dark necklaces and drinks. Non-alcoholic drinks for Claire, of course, because I am a stern house mother even if I suck as a role model.
Rachel Caine
#14. Shane stood up when he saw her, which made her heart turn cartwheels, and he pulled out her chair. Eve and Michael shared an amused look.
"So cute," Eve said. When Shane glared, she smiled. "No, really. It is. Dude, chill.
Rachel Caine
#15. When I want to be lectured on strategy, I'll consult someone who's actually won battles,' Amelie said. 'Not one who ran away from them.'
'Snap,' Eve said.
'You know what they're talking about?' Shane asked.
'Don't need to know to get that one. She smacked him so hard his momma felt it.
Rachel Caine
#16. Did you talk to him about it?"
"Oh, sure. Nothing happened, yadda yadda. The usual. But my maydar went off like crazy."
"Maydar?"
"As in, he may be thinking about super hot sex with her. Like radar, only not as sure.
Rachel Caine
#17. I have no idea what that is, but yawn, anyway, just on principle. Eat up. Pancakes is brain food.
Apparently not grammar food.
Wow.You college girls are mean.
Rachel Caine
#18. I need to be a vampire," she said. "and I want one of them to make it happen. Michael will do fine. I don't care who turns me. The important thing is that if I change, I'll be a princess."
I was wrong. She was really crazy.
Rachel Caine
#19. Get in here and make me some dinner - now, woman."
"News flash, Michael, you're supposed to be evil, not redneck!
Rachel Caine
#20. You looked like the sexiest woman in the world."
"Well, in fairness, I am the sexiest woman in the world."
"And you're always right."
"You are so brilliant to recognize that.
Rachel Caine
#21. If you ask me if I'm imagining it again, I'm going to punch you out, Dead Man Walking."
Michael raised his eyebrows and glanced at Eve. "He doesn't sound crazy."
"Er," she clarified, "crazier. He sounds like he's back to normal, which is baseline crazy.
Rachel Caine
#22. If he had any kind of a clue, he wouldn't be caught dead with that stuff. See what I did there? Caught dead? I crack myself up. Eve sipped more coffee she probably, at this point, didn't need.
Rachel Caine
#23. I think so," she [Claire] said. "Just watch your back, okay?"
"Nah, Michael's got mine." He [Shane] looked straight into her eyes.
"I've got yours.
Rachel Caine
#24. I just - we were talking, and we fell asleep. I swear, we didn't, um - '
'Yeah, you'd better not have ummed.
Rachel Caine
#25. I can handle Glory."
"Can you?" Eve asked. "Because I notice you never call her Gloriana. Just Glory."
He shut up. Which is probably about the only smart thing he can do, Claire thought.
Rachel Caine
#26. If Myrnin pokes his crazy head up before then, call me and try to keep him, you know, stable.'
'Is he UNstable?'
'I don't know, how can I tell? You're the crazy whisperer!'
She had a point. Claire couldn't help but smile about that.
Rachel Caine
#27. Claire - "Go ahead. And thanks. Oh, and be careful?"
Eve - "Please. I am the queen of careful. Also, princess of punk fabulousness.
Rachel Caine
#28. No, not you two. Stay here.'
'Does he just not get how unfair and sexist that is?' Eve asked. 'Men.'
'You really want to go first?'
'Of course no. But I'd like the chance to refuse to go first.
Rachel Caine
#29. Did he just say
?"
"Yes," Claire said, smiling. "Yes, he did."
"Whoa. Guess I'd better stay alive, then.
Rachel Caine
#30. Just wanted to remind you that we're out of milk again. And hot sauce."
"Why are those two always out at the same time? Because those do not go together."
"I suspect Shane. He'd put hot sauce in anything," Michael said.
Rachel Caine
#31. Take the back door," she said. "Claire, you and your strang friend-"
"Eve," they both said simultaneously, and Eve held out her fst for a bump. "Or, you could call me Eve the Great, Mistress of All She Surveys. Eve for short.
Rachel Caine
#32. You know what we call pedestrians in Morganville? Mobile bloodbanks.
Rachel Caine
#33. Wake me for the massacre, okay? Don't want to miss it.
Rachel Caine
#34. You come back to us or I swear, I'll find you, dig up your stinky corpse, and kick its ass until it freaking disintegrates.
Rachel Caine
#35. Bite me, Goth princess," Shane called from the back. "Not literally or anything."
"Maybe you should say that to Michael."
"Not funny, Eve," Michael said.
Eve raised her eyebrows and held her fingers up, measuring off about an inch. "Little bit," she said.
Rachel Caine
#36. I don't see a way in," Eve whispered.
Why are you whispering?" Myrnin whispered back. "Vampires can hear us, anyway.
Rachel Caine
#37. The saga started out a normal day - don't they all? I mean, surely one morning back there in prehistoric times a dinosaur woke up, yawned, chewed some coffee beans, and thought his day was going to be dead boring, just before a comet slammed into his neighborhood.
Rachel Caine
#38. His smile was bright and sweet and hot enough to melt solid steel. "Is this the part where I kiss you?"
"If you like."
"Oh," he said, "I like.
Rachel Caine
#39. Eve: Shut up, we have zero time for you and your bullshit dramatics
Monica: Or what, you'll bleed on me, Emo Princess of Freakdomonia?
Claire: Fine. You come with us. If you get in my way, I'll kill you.
Rachel Caine
#40. Parents had some kind of sin radar, Claire thought. They always called when you were in the middle of something you just knew they'd consider wrong. Or at least risky.
Rachel Caine
#41. You look like a Goth factory exploded all over you!" he called as she ran down the hall.
"Love you, too, jackass!
Rachel Caine
#42. You're just Little Miss Optimist, aren't you? Do you come with accessories, like a glass half full and lemons to make into lemonade, too?
Rachel Caine
#43. Mornings are pure evil from the pits of hell, which is why I don't do them anymore. Eve
Rachel Caine
#44. This one is named Eve," I said. "And don't check my teeth like I'm your livestock. I bite back.
Rachel Caine
#45. It's part of the marriage vows. Didn't you read the fine print? To have and to harass.
Rachel Caine
#46. Faster!" Shane yelled. Eve hit the gas hard, and whipped around a slower-moving van. The firing ceased, at least for now. "You see why I didn't want you to stop?"
"Okay, your father is officially off my Christmas list!" Eve yelled. "Oh my God, look at my car!
Rachel Caine
#47. Bathroom, maybe? Which is where I need to go."
"Ooh, me, too," Eve said.
The boys rolled their eyes, like they'd planned it.
"What? It's what girls do. Get over it.
Rachel Caine
#48. I almost get killed at most parties. Hence, you can tell that's how much I love them.
Rachel Caine
#49. You are so lucky I'm too tired to murder you right now.
Rachel Caine
#50. Welcome to Morganville.You'll never want to leave.And even if you do ... well, you can't. Sorry about that.
Rachel Caine
#51. See, I knew I could count on you for quality mayhem, my man.
Rachel Caine
#52. Go to hell and take that with you! She shouted it right in Amelie's face. Eve
was an exotic blaze of color against Amelie's white fury.
And then she slapped the Founder in the face.
Rachel Caine
#53. Better be," Eve said. She mock-bit at his finger. "I could totally date somebody else, you know."
"And I could rent out your room."
"And I could put your game console on eBay."
"Hey," Shane protested. "Now you're just being mean.
Rachel Caine
#54. See?" she heard Shane yell at the kitchen. "She doesn't stomp around like a cattle stampede!"
"Bite me, Collins! No bacon for you, either!
Rachel Caine
#55. No bacon for you."
"Then no eggs for you. Either of you."
Eve glowered at him. "Prisoner exchange?"
They glared at each other, then swapped pans and started scooping.
Rachel Caine
#56. As she turned to concentrate on the portal, Eve tugged on Claire's shirt. "What?"
"Ask him where he got the boots."
"You ask." Personally, Claire wanted the vampire bunny slippers.
Rachel Caine
#57. Eve: She told me last!
Shane: Boyfriend!
Michael: Landlord!
Eve: Crap. Right. Next time you sell your soul to the devil, I get first contact!
Rachel Caine
#58. Promise me, Amelie, that you'll crucify me with silver before you allow me to fall in love."
"I hardly think there's any chance of that," Amelie said. "I doubt you have the capacity.
Rachel Caine
#60. What was your name again?"
"Still Eve."
"No, I'm sure it's something else. That doesn't seem right.
Rachel Caine
#61. He lives in a hole in the ground, dresses funny, and occasionally eats his assistants," Eve said. "Define crazy.
Rachel Caine
#62. Ahh ... maybe we should be going," Shane said. "Ditch the shoes, Eve. We'll be running now."
"I love these shoes!"
"More than your circulatory system?"
Eve silently kicked off the stilettos and backed up.
Rachel Caine
#63. Shane? Thank God, somebody sane. Well, sane-ish.
Rachel Caine
#64. Hold on, Claire Bear! Next stop, Crazytown!
Rachel Caine
#65. Silence, and then Eve said, Okay, that was extra creepy, with whipped creepy topping. And this is me, changing my mind.
Rachel Caine
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