Edgar Bergen Quotes

#1. It's strange because even in the vaudeville days, ventriloquists were never the main attraction. They were the guys brought out to stand in front of the curtain while sets were being changed. Ventriloquism wasn't even celebrated as an art until Edgar Bergen came along in the 1930s.

Jeff Dunham

#2. There's a lot of ugly things in this world, son. I wish I could keep 'em all away from you. That's never possible.

Harper Lee

#3. Funny, nothing ever happens nowadays.

Edgar Bergen

#4. I was asking Charlie the most important questions, and you heard the answers.

Edgar Bergen

#5. Most of all, I love being a storyteller. And yes, I want to make a good living, but I'm not always driven by the best commercial sense.

Bruce Coville

#6. So many people are working in vaudeville today that I looked for three weeks to book enough acts for an hour bill and didn't have them until the night before we opened in Buffalo and money was no object!

Edgar Bergen

#7. The thing about the ocean is that the surface won't always tell you what is going on underneath.

Jennifer Arnett

#8. Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

Edgar Bergen

#9. Well, a friend in need is a friend indeed.

Edgar Bergen

#10. Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Early bird gets the worm, but the second worm gets to live.
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

Edgar Bergen

#11. You find out your mistakes from an audience that pays admission.

Edgar Bergen

#12. Hey kid, do you want to come and talk to Charlie?

Edgar Bergen

#13. I've never told you the story of Alice in Wonderland, have I?

Edgar Bergen

#14. After 13 years of life on the half shell in Hollywood, I have made a trip where I wasn't a tourist.

Edgar Bergen

#15. We had to have a star each week.. Possibly our program being on Sunday and having a little fun with the Bible was dangerous.

Edgar Bergen

#16. Show me where Stalin is buried and I'll show you a Communist Plot.

Edgar Bergen

#17. But Charlie, Charlie, how can we ever really know anything? Charlie, what or who is God?

Edgar Bergen

#18. While it is undeniably true that people love a surprise, it is equally true that they are seldom pleased to suddenly and without warning happen upon a series of prunes in what they took to be a normal loin of pork.

Fran Lebowitz

#19. There's so much I can't read because I get so exasperated. Someone starts describing the character boarding the plane and pulling the seat back. And I just want to say, Babe, I have been downtown. I have been up in a plane. Give me some credit.

Amy Hempel

#20. Nations have their ego, just like individuals.

James Joyce

#21. OK, magic boy, let's see who you really are.

Edgar Bergen

#22. Nobody seems to know yet how television is going to affect the radio, movies, love, housekeeping or the church, but it has definitely revived vaudeville.

Edgar Bergen

#23. In matching your wits against yourself you take on the shrewdest and wiliest antagonist you can have, and consequently a victorious outcome in this duel of wits brings a great feeling of triumph.

Dorothea Brande

#24. I enjoy the oohs! and aahs! from the gallery when I hit my drives. But I'm getting pretty tired of the awws! and uhhs! when I miss the putt.

John Daly

#25. You've got to try and take things to the next level, or you'll just get stuck in a rut.

Ozzy Osbourne