Earl Wilson Quotes

#1. Golf is a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic.

Earl Wilson

#2. A bachelor is a guy who leans toward women - but not far enough to lose his balance.

Earl Wilson

#3. Money in the bank is like toothpaste in the tube. Easy to take out, hard to put back.

Earl Wilson

#4. Today's accent may be on youth, but the stress is still on the parents.

Earl Wilson

#5. I shall not say why and how I became, at the age of fifteen, the mistress of the Earl of Craven.

Harriette Wilson

#6. Ever notice that the whisper of temptation can be heard farther than the loudest call to duty.

Earl Wilson

#7. If you wouldn't write it and sign it, don't say it.

Earl Wilson

#8. One way to get high blood pressure is to go mountain climbing over molehills.

Earl Wilson

#9. Poise: the ability to be ill at ease inconspicuously.

Earl Wilson

#10. Feminists say 60 percent of the country's wealth is in the hands of women. They're letting men hold the other 40 percent because their handbags are full.

Earl Wilson

#11. You may not be able to read a doctor's handwriting and prescription, but you'll notice his bills are neatly typewritten.

Earl Wilson

#12. A woman may race to get a man a gift but it always ends in a tie.

Earl Wilson

#13. Women's liberation will not be achieved until a woman can become paunchy and bald and still think she's attractive to the opposite sex.

Earl Wilson

#14. Middle Age - later than you think and sooner than you expect.

Earl Wilson

#15. A vacation is what you take when you can no longer take what you've been taking.

Earl Wilson

#16. Nonchalance is the ability to remain down to earth when everything else is up in the air.

Earl Wilson

#17. Mathematics-a wonderful science, but it hasn't yet come up with a way to divide one tricycle between three small boys.

Earl Wilson

#18. Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure.

Earl Wilson

#19. Success is a matter of luck. If you want proof, ask any failure.

Earl Wilson

#20. He was so honest you could play craps with him over the phone.

Earl Wilson

#21. Always remember, money isn't everything - but also remember to make a lot of it before talking such fool nonsense.

Earl Wilson

#22. Today, there are three kinds of people: the haves, the have-nots, and the have-not-paid-for-what-they-haves.

Earl Wilson

#23. A baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown divided into nine innings.

Earl Wilson

#24. Home, nowadays, is a place where part of the family waits till the rest of the family brings the car back.

Earl Wilson

#25. Modern man drives a mortgaged car over a bond-financed highway on credit-card gas.

Earl Wilson

#26. Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough.

Earl Wilson

#27. An exhaustive study of police records shows that no woman has ever shot her husband while he was doing the dishes.

Earl Wilson

#28. Science may never come up with a better office communication system than the coffee break.

Earl Wilson

#29. The fastest way for a politician to become an elder statesman is to lose an election.

Earl Wilson

#30. Nothing is as embarrassing as watching your boss do something you assured him couldn't be done.

Earl Wilson

#31. To sell something, tell a woman it's a bargain; tell a man it's deductible.

Earl Wilson

#32. He's an honest man - you could shoot craps with him over the telephone.

Earl Wilson

#33. This is the age of bargain hunters. If it had been this way in biblical times, we'd probably have been offered another commandment free if we had accepted the first ten.

Earl Wilson

#34. Experience is what enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

Earl Wilson

#35. Isn't it a shame that future generations can't be here to see all the wonderful things we're doing with their money?

Earl Wilson

#36. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

Earl Wilson

#37. This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt.

Earl Wilson

#38. The man who didn't want his wife to work has been succeeded by the man who asks about her chances of getting a raise.

Earl Wilson

#39. If you look like your passport photo, in all probability you need the journey.

Earl Wilson

#40. Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death.

Earl Wilson