Doctor Cox Funny Famous Quotes & Sayings

List of top 30 famous quotes and sayings about doctor cox funny to read and share with friends on your Facebook, Twitter, blogs.

Top 30 Doctor Cox Funny Quotes

#1. A man walks into doctor's office. "What seems to be the problem?" asks the doc. "It's ... um ... well ... I have five penises." replies the man. "Blimey!" says the doctor, "How do your trousers fit?" "Like a glove." - Author: Tommy Cooper
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#2. The Doctor: I've seen bigger.
Clara: Really?
The Doctor: Are you joking? It's massive! - Author: Steven Moffat
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#3. So I went to the Doctor's yesterday. He said, "What appears to be the problem?" I said, "I keep having this dream, night after night, beautiful girls rushing towards me and I keep pushing them away." He said, "How can I help?" I said: "Break my arms." - Author: Tommy Cooper
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#4. A man walks into a hospital feeling unwell and the doctor says: "Sorry, you've only got three minutes to live." The man said: "Can you do something for me?" "Yes," he said. "I'll boil you an egg." - Author: Frank Carson
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#5. When I was growing up they used to say, "Robin, drugs can kill you." Now that I'm 58 my doctor's telling me, "Robin, you need drugs to live." I realize now that my doctor is also my dealer ... - Author: Robin Williams
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#6. Why is it called Dr. Device?" "When it was developed, it was called a Molecular Detachment Device. M.D. Device." Ender still didn't understand. "M.D. The initials stand for Medical Doctor, too. M.D. Device, therefore Dr. Device. It was a joke." Ender didn't see what was funny about it. - Author: Orson Scott Card
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#7. I have a weak stomach. My wife is a doctor, so she finds it funny that I actually pass out when I get my blood drawn. I physically can't stand gore on screen. I can't stand blood and guts. Not for any puritanical/moral high-ground reason. I just don't want to black out. - Author: Christopher Denham
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#8. Hitler: Thank you, whoever you are. I think you just saved my life.
The Doctor: Believe me ... It was an accident. - Author: Steven Moffat
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#9. The doctor looked at my cardiogram and made that "hmmmm" noise that doctors are taught in medical school so they won't come right out and say "UH-oh!" - Author: Dave Barry
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#10. Sometimes we called one another by our future doctor names. We did it partly to be funny, but mostly because we liked it when people did it back to us. - Author: David Z. Hirsch
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#11. Oh, doctor. I think I'm sick I need some penis-cilin. I fake cough again into my hand. - Author: S.K. Logsdon
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#12. Ossip, I think you are a humbug ... you are not even a doctor. But you are funny. Your notion of a humanity universally putting out the tongue and taking the pill from pole to pole at the bidding of a few solemn jokers is worthy of the prophet ... - Author: Joseph Conrad
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#13. The patient says, "Doctor, it hurts when I do this." "Then don't do that!" - Author: Henny Youngman
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#14. It's funny: when I first started getting vocal about how much I liked 'Doctor Who,' I didn't realize how deep the fan base was. - Author: Chris Hardwick
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#15. Have you ever heard of the theory of relativity?"
Artemis blinked. "Is this a joke? I have traveled through time, Doctor. I think I know a little something about relativity. - Author: Eoin Colfer
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#16. We're gonna get weaker. That's already happened. They used to say, you know, an apple a day keeps the doctor away. Now they're saying eat five fruits. That's evidence. You can't argue with that. - Author: Karl Pilkington
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#17. Behind every good decathlete, there's a good doctor. - Author: Bill Toomey
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#18. I spend most of my days up to my elbows in someone's chest cavity. Really, I know zip about music."
He didn't bother hiding his surprise. "Wow. That must be ... messy."
"That didn't sound too great, did it? Let me reassure you - I'm a doctor, not a serial killer. - Author: Sarah Mayberry
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#19. The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, "Mrs. Cohen, your check came back." Mrs. Cohen answered, "So did my arthritis!" - Author: Henny Youngman
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#20. A Polish man had a bandage on each ear. What happened? "I was ironing, and the phone rang!" "What about the other ear?" "Had to call the doctor!" - Author: Henny Youngman
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#21. I know a guy who had his doctor say, "Take some weight off, go to a health club." The man lost 20 pounds in one week! The machine tore his leg off! - Author: Henny Youngman
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#22. When I was born ... the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father ... I'm very sorry. We did everything we could ... but he pulled through. - Author: Rodney Dangerfield
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#23. The Doctor says, "You'll live to be 60!" "I AM 60!" "See, what did I tell you?" - Author: Henny Youngman
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#24. Doctor says to a man, "You're pregnant!" The man says, "How does a man get pregnant?" The doctor says, "The usual way - a little wine, a little dinner ... " - Author: Henny Youngman
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#25. I flipped the good doctor the bird.
Snorting, Gideon caught my hand and pulled me back down the hall.
"What is it with you and giving people the finger?"
"What? It's a classic. - Author: Sylvia Day
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#26. So I watched the Pink Panther last night, and so I'm trying desperately to be funny, and then it's just not working out so good ... I wonder if maybe I could've been a comedian or something like that, or maybe I could've been a doctor, then I wouldn't have to make anyone laugh. - Author: Dave Matthews
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#27. I told my doctor I wonna stop aging, he gave me a gun! - Author: Rodney Dangerfield
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#28. I went to the doctor, and they found something in my bladder. And whenever they find something, it's never anything good like, "We found something in your bladder AND IT'S SEASON TICKETS TO THE YANKEES!!" - Author: Mike Birbiglia
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#29. Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse. - Author: Spike Milligan
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#30. An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
No one's immune to bribery. - Author: Joanne Harris
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