Top 45 Cottin Quotes
#2. America is a nation fundamentally ambivalent about its children, often afraid of its children, and frequently punitive toward its children.
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#4. If the family were a fruit, it would be an orange, a circle of sections, held together but separable - each segment distinct.
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#5. When the president of the United States flicks the switch to light up the Christmas tree on the White House lawn, that house ceases to be an American symbol; it becomes a Christian symbol.
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#6. If the Richter scale could measure human calamities, the loss of a child would register a ten.
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#7. If the family were a boat, it would be a canoe that makes no progress unless everyone paddles.
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#9. As the mother of a son, I do not accept that alienation from me is necessary for his discovery of himself. As a woman, I will not cooperate in demeaning womanly things so that he can be proud to be a man. I like to think the women in my son's future are counting on me.
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#10. It's smart to be friends with one's sex partner but dumb to have sex with one's friends.
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#11. We mothers are learning to mark our mothering success by our daughters' lengthening flight.
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#13. Lifestyles and sex roles are passed from parents to children as inexorably as blue eyes or small feet.
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#14. I feel about mothers the way I feel about dimples: because I do not have one myself, I notice everyone who does.
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#15. Housework is the only activity at which men are allowed to be consistently inept because they are thought to be so competent at everything else.
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#16. The risk for a woman who considers her helpless children her "job" is that the children's growth toward self-sufficiency may be experienced as a refutation of the mother's indispensability, and she may unconsciously sabotage their growth as a result.
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#17. Like many another romance, the romance of the family turns sour when the money runs out. If we really cared about families, we would not let 'born again' patriarchs send up moral abstractions as a smokescreen for the scandal of American family economics.
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#18. I used to anticipate my childhood birthday parties as if each were an annual coronation. Like most kids, I loved sitting at the head of the table with a crown on my head.
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#19. What I often say to people who are quick to say I'm not a feminist is if you think you're not a feminist, give it all back.
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#21. Friends can be said to "fall in like" with as profound a thud as romantic partners fall in love.
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#22. Friends seem to be like aspirin; we don't really know why they make a sick person feel better, but they do.
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#23. To me, a person's identity is composed of both an 'I' and a 'we.' The 'I' finds itself in love, work, and pleasure, but it also locates itself within some meaningful group identity - a tribe, a community, a 'we.' America is too big and bland a tribe for most of us.
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#24. Control is a big issue when you're sick. It's the first thing you lose - other losses come later.
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#25. The politics of the family are the politics of a nation. Just as the authoritarian family is the authoritarian state in microcosm, the democratic family is the best training ground for life in a democracy.
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#26. When men are oppressed, it's a tragedy. When women are oppressed, it's tradition.
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#27. When a family is free of abuse and oppression, it can be the place where we share our deepest secrets and stand the most exposed, a place where we learn to feel distinct without being better, - and sacrifice for others without losing ourselves.
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#28. Before devising any blueprint that includes the assumption of Having It All, we need to ask ... Why do we need Everything?
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#30. Why hope to live a long life if we're only going to fill it with self-absorption, body maintenance and image repair? When we die, do we want people to exclaim 'She looked ten years younger,' or do we want them to say 'She lived a great life'?
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#31. The ultra-right would have us believe that families are in trouble because of humanism, feminism, secular education, or sexual liberation, but the consensus of Americans is that what tears families apart is unemployment, inflation, and financial worries.
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#32. It angers me that sick people have to wait for everything and everybody - doctors, nurses, callbacks, lab results, prescriptions, medications, technicians, treatment rooms. If illness is the embodiment of powerlessness, which, believe me, is true, then waiting is its temporal incarnation.
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#33. Friendships aren't perfect and yet they are very precious. For me, not expecting perfection all in one place was a great release.
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#34. We need old friends to help us grow old and new friends to help us stay young.
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#35. I didn't anticipate the primal quality of my pleasure, the raw physicality of it, the way my whole body leaps forward when I see my grandsons after a few days' absence.
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#36. Mothers remember a child's first words, and quote them in tones usually reserved for Byron.
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#37. If family violence teaches children that might makes right at home, how will we hope to cure the futile impulse to solve worldly conflicts with force?
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#39. We can remind the world that all the dead on both sides have not settled our differences, so now it is time for the living to renounce violence as a means of solving this conflict.
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#40. If knowledge is power, clandestine knowledge is power squared; it can be withheld, exchanged, and leveraged.
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#41. Work-family conflicts
the trade-offs of your money or your life, your job or your child
would not be forced upon women with suchsanguine disregard if men experienced the same career stalls caused by the-buck-stops-here responsibility for children.
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#42. No labourer in the world is expected to work for room, board, and love -except the housewife.
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#43. Although Freud said happiness is composed of love and work, reality often forces us to choose love or work.
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#44. Other than life experience, nothing left a deeper imprint on my formative self than the movies.
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#45. People tend to be exquisitely precise when describing pain. We don't just say it hurts, we say it throbs or aches; it's a burning, wrenching, gnawing sensation; it's sharp or dull; it chafes; it stings. But where pain specifies, joy generalizes. It was great! we say. Terrific! Beautiful! Fantastic!
Letty Cottin Pogrebin
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