Top 100 Christmas Santa Sayings

#1. I discovered that the real meaning of Christmas has nothing to do with you at all. It is about a very special gift. I want to you tell you about this gift.

Soraya Diase Coffelt

Christmas Santa Sayings #8356
#2. God is Santa Claus for Grown-Ups.

Oliver Markus

Christmas Santa Sayings #25976
#3. On a busy day twenty-two thousand people come to visit Santa, and I was told that it is an elf's lot to remain merry in the face of torment and adversity. I promised to keep that in mind.

David Sedaris

Christmas Santa Sayings #36220
#4. [It's Not About You, Mr. Santa Claus,] is a fun read and a twist on Christmas, because it does involve Santa Claus and Jesus, and it doesn't say that Santa Claus is bad, but it's the child explaining to Santa Claus the true reason for the season is Jesus.

Soraya Diase Coffelt

Christmas Santa Sayings #50793
#5. Santa is like a queen bee. All the elves are his drones, who exist to feed him royal jelly, which I guess would be milk and cookies. If an elf escapes and eats royal cookies, it will turn into another Santa. That's what all those mall Santas are. They're trying to start their own festive colonies.

Thomm Quackenbush

Christmas Santa Sayings #55297
#6. Everyone wants a Christmas tree. If you had a Christmas tree Santa would bring you stuff! Like hair curlers and slut shoes.

Janet Evanovich

Christmas Santa Sayings #99106
#7. He had a white beard and twinkly blue eyes, and all in all gave the impression of what Santa Claus would look like if he'd converted to Christian and gone without a good meal sine last Christmas.

Barbara Kingsolver

Christmas Santa Sayings #126374
#8. It's better to ask Santa Claus for a pair of slippers for Christmas rather than peace on earth. You might actually get it.

Terry Pratchett

Christmas Santa Sayings #170812
#9. It brings back a long-forgotten memory of Christmas, the year I turned six. I was supposed to be in bed, but I was up waiting and watching for my father or Santa Claus, whoever came first.

Carolee Dean

Christmas Santa Sayings #179275
#10. Yes Virginia, There is a Santa Claus.

Francis Pharcellus Church

Christmas Santa Sayings #209346
#11. It was a beautiful, clear Southern California kind of Christmas Eve, the kind where Santa shows up in khaki shorts and a Hawaiian shirt and shades, flashing a peace sign with one hand and sipping a Corona with the other.

Z.A. Maxfield

Christmas Santa Sayings #249200
#12. What I want for Christmas is to be a Japanese pop star. [Laughs] Santa can't exactly put that under the tree, but I'm hoping that some magic will happen overseas.

Candice Accola

Christmas Santa Sayings #263059
#13. A born terror, a rebel without a pause ...
Ain't never had a good Christmas, so who is Santa Claus?

Shyheim

Christmas Santa Sayings #263412
#14. So they told us all about how other kids were deceived by their parents, how the toys the grown-ups claimed were made by little elves wearing bell caps in their workshop at the North Pole actually had labels on them saying MADE IN JAPAN.

Jeannette Walls

Christmas Santa Sayings #264165
#15. I have never tried to walk through a mall in the Christmas season dressed like a jolly old elf. You might as well dress up like a pork chop and walk into an alley full of starving dogs.

Thomm Quackenbush

Christmas Santa Sayings #268997
#16. He reached up and traced her cheek with the outside of his fingers. "Guys like me look for reasons. We look for explanations. I've been trying for hours to make sense out of this, and I only know two things. When it comes to you and Santa Claus, 'sense' doesn't work. And I love you.

Sierra Donovan

Christmas Santa Sayings #277535
#17. I liked Christmas and this was Christmassy enough for us. Ellie and Adam's flat looked like Santa had dropped around for a party, had too much to drink and puked up Christmas everywhere.

Samantha Young

Christmas Santa Sayings #281778
#18. Never deny the babies their Christmas! It is the shining seal set upon, a year of happiness. Let them believe in Santa Claus, or St. Nicholas; or Kriss Kringle, or whatever name the jolly Dutch saint bears in your religion.

Mary Virginia Terhune

Christmas Santa Sayings #349898
#19. Here comes Santa Claus! Here comes Santa Claus! Right down Santa Claus Lane!

Gene Autry

Christmas Santa Sayings #382245
#20. You ate the cookies and drank all the milk?" Cash asked, looking at the base of the tree.
"No. I didn't. Why would I? I don't like banana chip, they're your favorite."
"I didn't eat them, Harper."
"Sure you didn't."
"Prove it then."
"How?

Shaye Evans

Christmas Santa Sayings #383535
#21. No sane local official who has hung up an empty stocking over the municipal fireplace, is going to shoot Santa Claus just before a hard Christmas.

Al Smith

Christmas Santa Sayings #395388
#22. What's going on here?" Miles demanded, pushing his way past the last of the stampeding throng. "And why is Santa worshiping that elf?

Laura Resnick

Christmas Santa Sayings #403817
#23. This Christmas, every Christmas, Santa Claus is everywhere and Jesus is nowhere to be found.

Paul Park

Christmas Santa Sayings #437637
#24. Calvin: Dear Santa, before I submit life to your scrutiny, I demand to know who made YOU the matter of my fate?! Who are YOU to question my behavior, HUH??? What gives you the right?!
Hobbes: Santa makes the toys, so he gets to decide who to give them to.
Calvin: Oh.

Bill Watterson

Christmas Santa Sayings #461614
#25. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

George Carlin

Christmas Santa Sayings #466491
#26. Aren't we forgeting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa.

Matt Groening

Christmas Santa Sayings #482642
#27. No matter what, I always make it home for Christmas. I love to go to my Tennessee Mountain Home and invite all of my nieces and nephews and their spouses and kids and do what we all like to do - eat, laugh, trade presents and just enjoy each other ... and sometimes I even dress up like Santa Claus!

Dolly Parton

Christmas Santa Sayings #494184
#28. I actually share her view and understand her frustration when any government attempts to ban secular symbols like Santa Claus or Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer or Christmas lights.

Steve Israel

Christmas Santa Sayings #500198
#29. My favorite random email I got was from some guy who wrote: Mr. Max, with the hope of a six year old on the night before Christmas asking about Santa, I ask the same question: Do you really exist?

Tucker Max

Christmas Santa Sayings #537965
#30. Like kids who only ever get socks for Christmas, but still believe with all their hearts in Santa.

Barbara Kingsolver

Christmas Santa Sayings #559731
#31. Let me see if I've got this Santa business straight. You say he wears a beard, has no discernible source of income and flies to cities all over the world under cover of darkness? You sure this guy isn't laundering illegal drug money?

Tom Armstrong

Christmas Santa Sayings #561584
#32. It's like getting the best Christmas gift ever, but Santa decided to kick the crap out of you before you unwrapped it.

Adrienne Martini

Christmas Santa Sayings #585276
#33. The armored infantry was Santa Claus, the battle was out Christmas. What else for the elves to do on Christmas Eve but to let their hair down and drink a a little eggnog.

Hiroshi Sakurazaka

Christmas Santa Sayings #588379
#34. Let's be naughty and save Santa the trip.

Gary Allan

Christmas Santa Sayings #623209
#35. Seriously, isn't there enough holiday cheer around here? You all don't have to invade my office." I glared at my coworkers, decked out in their fancy Christmas finery, complete with Santa hats and jingly socks.

I should have been expecting this - it was a week before Christmas. -- Erica

Candice Gilmer

Christmas Santa Sayings #628299
#36. The Keys To Happiness
1.Finishing the Grave Digger's Handbook.
2.Escaping the ire of Santa Maria.
3.Recieving two books for Christmas.

Markus Zusak

Christmas Santa Sayings #639041
#37. How about that one?"
"That fat thing?"
"Amber, it is a Christmas tree. It is supposed to be fat and jolly looking, like Santa Clause.

Sarah Holman

Christmas Santa Sayings #656837
#38. Ho ho ho, tell me why you are not at home' is something Santa Claus could ask you if you stayed in a hotel over Christmas. It is most certainly not the reason why it is called 'hotel', but it will hopefully help you remember that the stress is actually on the second syllable.

Jakub Marian

Christmas Santa Sayings #678338
#39. Reading is one of the best ways to bond with your child. Bond this Christmas with "It's Not About You, Mr. Santa Claus

Soraya Diase Coffelt

Christmas Santa Sayings #678772
#40. You know what? From now on, I think I'm going to call you Mister Christmas.

Fern Michaels

Christmas Santa Sayings #680502
#41. Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist.

Francis Pharcellus Church

Christmas Santa Sayings #680587
#42. What kind of Christmas present would Jesus ask Santa for?

Salman Rushdie

Christmas Santa Sayings #736224
#43. Maybe he was the anti-Santa, of the South Pole, and he was going to show them where the elves made lumps of coal for Anti-Christmas.

Lev Grossman

Christmas Santa Sayings #743257
#44. We can _start_ making Christmas and Santa can finish up.

Toni Buzzeo

Christmas Santa Sayings #811836
#45. She felt like a woman on fire. Would it be bad to have sex with Santa in the closet?

Kathleen Brooks

Christmas Santa Sayings #815407
#46. Postal officials say that before Christmas they receive tons of letters written to Santa Claus, but after Christmas how few letters of thanks are sent to him! From childhood onward, human beings seem to be characterized by thanklessness.

Robert E.Lee

Christmas Santa Sayings #817557
#47. Small unexpected acts of kindness are the building blocks of greatness. Start your day with a smile and see where it takes you ...

Edwin Lionel Flynn

Christmas Santa Sayings #846652
#48. The greatest thing is not to believe in Santa Claus; it is to be Santa Claus.

Pat Boone

Christmas Santa Sayings #908928
#49. For me growing up, Christmas time was always the most fantastic, exciting time of year, and you'd stay up until three in the morning. You'd hear the parents wrapping in the other room but you knew that also, maybe, they were in collusion with Santa Claus.

Chris Pine

Christmas Santa Sayings #964352
#50. Talk about cheap - on Christmas Eve, my neighbour shoots off three blanks and tells his kids Santa Claus just committed suicide.

Milton Berle

Christmas Santa Sayings #970485
#51. Christmas is the time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell government what they want and their kids pay for it.

Richard Lamm

Christmas Santa Sayings #981563
#52. Sometime in the early Seventies, gender-free toys were briefly a popular idea. So at Christmas on the California beach in 1972, we downplayed the dolls with frilly dresses and loaded up Santa's sack with toy trucks and earth movers for our three daughters.

Tom Brokaw

Christmas Santa Sayings #1001460
#53. The three phases of Santa belief:
(1) Santa is real.
(2) Santa isn't real.
(3) Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus.

Alton Thompson

Christmas Santa Sayings #1029747
#54. Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven.

W.C. Fields

Christmas Santa Sayings #1034989
#55. And, like Christmas, Armand has brought gifts. But he is no fat, sweet Santa Claus who rewards the nice; he is the Lord of Misrule, the Abbot of Unreason in charge of scandalous fun.

Eliza Crewe

Christmas Santa Sayings #1058324
#56. They talk some more, Will prompting Peter into remembering their early childhood on the barge. How their parents always went that extra mile to make their infancy special, like the time they brought a freshly killed department store Santa Clause home for their midnight Christmas feast.

Matt Haig

Christmas Santa Sayings #1075515
#57. If you look at Christmas movies, there are certain things in them that lend themselves to a 'Harold & Kumar' movie. In particular, the more out-of-this-world things like Santa Claus and flying reindeer.

Hayden Schlossberg

Christmas Santa Sayings #1087262
#58. Hey. Nobody has any trouble believing in the internet, right, which really is magic. So what's the problem believing in a virtual private network for Santa's business? It results in real toys, real presents, delivered by Christmas morning, what's the difference?

Thomas Pynchon

Christmas Santa Sayings #1088570
#59. I was once part of a Christmas cabaret. I sang 'I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus.' I tap-danced. I had a ten-gallon hat. It was quite absurd.

Peter Dinklage

Christmas Santa Sayings #1152184
#60. Jeez! I thought you said you were just gonna set up the tree? It looks like Santa shit Christmas in here!

Toni Aleo

Christmas Santa Sayings #1156005
#61. Leading up to Christmas, there was talk of Santa. But I'd never even heard of Santa. Bunty, one of the workers who I grew to love, tried to explain, 'He brings little angels like you, presents.

Stephen Richards

Christmas Santa Sayings #1173244
#62. As a children's minister, I always believed that I was an evangelist, and at the end of the book, there's a simple prayer that, whoever's reading the book could accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior

Soraya Diase Coffelt

Christmas Santa Sayings #1188809
#63. So you say there is no Father Christmas, You say there is no Santa Claus Reindeer cannot fly, it's all a grown-up lie...

M.C. Frank

Christmas Santa Sayings #1203100
#64. Like everyone in his right mind, I feared Santa Claus.

Annie Dillard

Christmas Santa Sayings #1203947
#65. At Christmas time I sat on Santa's lap. His fly was open ! Boy what a present he gave me !

Rodney Dangerfield

Christmas Santa Sayings #1204606
#66. Christmas movies, it's a hard thing to do. The danger is you just end up with a Hollywood star with a Santa beard. You risk it being fake and cheesy and not real.

Peter Baynham

Christmas Santa Sayings #1222352
#67. This is, first and last, the real value of Christmas; in so far as the mythology remains at all it is a kind of happy mythology. Personally, of course, I believe in Santa Claus; but it is the season of forgiveness, and I will forgive others for not doing so.

Gilbert K. Chesterton

Christmas Santa Sayings #1225744
#68. The real Santa Claus is at the mall.

Lemony Snicket

Christmas Santa Sayings #1240345
#69. Of course, my Christmas is (so much more) gorgeous and romantic (than Germany's)!! And unlike the rest of the world, we leave wine behind for Santa Claus!"
"So Santa-san is delivering gifts to children while driving under the influence ... ?

Hidekaz Himaruya

Christmas Santa Sayings #1256847
#70. Santa blows all these shipping companies away. He delivers more than 2 billion packages in just 24 hours. He does it by sleigh. He doesn't use tracking numbers and doesn't use trucks. He just uses midgets and a giant bag.

Craig Ferguson

Christmas Santa Sayings #1296148
#71. God put Santa Claus on earth to remind us that Christmas is 'sposed to be a happy time.

Bil Keane

Christmas Santa Sayings #1349172
#72. The day I saw my mom eating the Santa cookies on the plate was one of the most horrific days of my life.

Halle Berry

Christmas Santa Sayings #1350146
#73. Santa knows Physics: Of all colors, Red Light penetrates fog best. That's why Benny the Blue-nosed reindeer never got the gig.

Neil DeGrasse Tyson

Christmas Santa Sayings #1410401
#74. Those who truly believe are always rewarded with the truth.

Santa Claus

Christmas Santa Sayings #1431454
#75. I love Christmas! I'm not religious, but I love the trappings of the season. I love the decorations, and the music, and Santa, and the festive food, and the cinnamon- and vanilla-infused aromas.

Jane Cleland

Christmas Santa Sayings #1431611
#76. Think of the Christmas present
of gashes you opened when, in an attempt
to be Superman, you slid in stocking feet
on a slippery wood floor and crashed
half way through a window. Hopes
of heroism dashed on the heels
of no clear sighting of Santa.

Kristen Henderson

Christmas Santa Sayings #1445926
#77. The reality of loving God is loving him like he's a Superhero who actually saved you from stuff rather than a Santa Claus who merely gave you some stuff.

Criss Jami

Christmas Santa Sayings #1448152
#78. Everyone is destined to be an asshole as some point or another.

Will Bly

Christmas Santa Sayings #1484029
#79. I remember being banned from other houses as a younger child during the winter holiday season; I was the only one who didn't believe in Santa Claus, and I was ruining everyone's Christmas.

Jami Attenberg

Christmas Santa Sayings #1523869
#80. I am always amazed by the novel angles that people come up with for kids' Christmas books. Even if a family is not religious, who could resist, say, "Olive, the Other Reindeer," about Olive the dog who thinks the song refers to her and heads for the North Pole to help Santa out?

Jabari Asim

Christmas Santa Sayings #1567058
#81. Christmas always sucked when I was a kid because I believed in Santa Claus. Unfortunately, so did my parents. So I never got anything.

Charlie Viracola

Christmas Santa Sayings #1576532
#82. Santa is having a tough time this year. Last year he deducted eight billion for gifts, and the IRS wants an itemized list

Milton Berle

Christmas Santa Sayings #1608212
#83. It's like pretending to be Santa and then stabbing someone with a candy cane!

Ellery Adams

Christmas Santa Sayings #1617853
#84. The door opens with a rusted jingle, and an animatronic Santa insults my moral virtue three times. Ho, ho, ho.

Kiersten White

Christmas Santa Sayings #1638412
#85. Mom says you have to believe in Santa if you want presents on Christmas.

C.K. Walker

Christmas Santa Sayings #1669451
#86. Missing a nose. With these children Santa has to be careful not to ask, And what would you like for Christmas?

David Sedaris

Christmas Santa Sayings #1670413
#87. Whenever you give someone a present or sing a holiday song, you're helping Santa Claus. To me, that's what Christmas is all about. Helping Santa Claus!

Louis Sachar

Christmas Santa Sayings #1682144
#88. Of course there is a Santa Claus. It's just that no single somebody could do all he has to do. So the Lord has spread the task among us all. That's why everybody is Santa Claus. I am. You are.

Truman Capote

Christmas Santa Sayings #1696778
#89. She blinked once, then twice, and yet again, sure what she viewed was just another part of this fantasy world that she had stepped into when her feet touched the green grass of Ireland.

Fern Michaels

Christmas Santa Sayings #1697323
#90. When I was out for the Christmas Holidays in school, I would go skiing up to the mountains and there they had Santa on a sled. Pulled by horses and other reindeer, it was a very, very picturesque time and that struck me very emphatically then and has remained with me all this time.

William Shatner

Christmas Santa Sayings #1711967
#91. Santa is our culture's only mythic figure truly believed in by a large percentage of the population. It's a fact that most of the true believers are under eight years old, and that's a pity.

Chris Van Allsburg

Christmas Santa Sayings #1721765
#92. By holiday time, Buena Vista Street felt like Bedford Falls, with its vintage lights and decorations, and a classic Santa Claus listening to children's holiday wishes at Elias & Co. Cocoa clutching---Guests in scarves and parkas filled the streets and shops.

Leslie Le Mon

Christmas Santa Sayings #1725627
#93. Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, he must be a communist. And a beard and long hair, must be a pacifist. What's in that pipe that he's smoking?

Arlo Guthrie

Christmas Santa Sayings #1740955
#94. The whole concept of some stranger making his way down our chimney - not that we had one - suggested burglary more readily than generosity. Any Santa who tried it would have gotten a bullet in his holly, jolly keister.

Thomm Quackenbush

Christmas Santa Sayings #1767722
#95. There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus.

Bob Phillips

Christmas Santa Sayings #1770663
#96. Not everyone who sells Christmas trees believes in Santa Claus.

Matt Barr

Christmas Santa Sayings #1780583
#97. Christmas was gluing cotton balls to Santa's beard in Coke ads, sneaking candy canes off the tree daily (that my parents replaced every few nights), enough gift-wrap to wallpaper a room, the terror and delight of knowing a magical being would enter my home while I slept.

Thomm Quackenbush

Christmas Santa Sayings #1786667
#98. I'm so glad I put a hot, naked guy on my Christmas wish list. I just didn't think Santa would actually deliver one.

Patricia W. Fischer

Christmas Santa Sayings #1806267
#99. It was almost Christmas, and a Santa Claus in a vacant lot was offering to appear in pictures for five dollars. The trim on his suit was mangy, as if it had been dug out of a dumpster, yet young mothers queued ten deep on the sidewalk, holding the hands of kids waiting to get in.

Garth Risk Hallberg

Christmas Santa Sayings #1807601
#100. Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies!

Francis Pharcellus Church

Christmas Santa Sayings #1811584

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