Breathalyzer Quotes

#1. With more and more states legalizing marijuana, companies are lining up to create the first marijuana breathalyzer. Officials say the toughest part is getting stoners to stop trying to inhale off the breathalyzer.

Jimmy Fallon

#2. New Rule: Stop calling bagpipes a musical instrument. They're actually a Scottish Breathalyzer test. You blow into one end, and if the sound that comes out the other end doesn't make you want to kill yourself
you're not drunk enough.

Bill Maher

#3. Waiting around to be perfect never amounts to anything. Don't be a waiter or you'll be serving other people.

Ian Desabrais

#4. Tesch seems to be someone who mistakes rudeness for intellectual rigor.

Emily St. John Mandel

#5. You have proven to be a true 'Steel Magnolia, strong as steel with your roots planted deep in the southern soil. Remember to always bend with the wind. Although time may weather you, you will always be my beautiful Magnolia.

Nancy B. Brewer

#6. The people who built Silicon Valley were engineers. They learned business, they learned a lot of different things, but they had a real belief that humans, if they worked hard with other creative, smart people, could solve most of humankind's problems. I believe that very much.

Steve Jobs

#7. Disrupting yourself is critical to avoiding stagnation, being overtaken by low-end entrants (i.e., younger, smarter, faster workers), and fast-tracking your personal and career growth.

Whitney Johnson

#8. Our minds can be kept free of anxiety as we dump the load of our cares on the Lord in prayer.

Charles R. Swindoll

#9. You don't know me well enough to be confident that I wouldn't be able to live without you. I survived almost two decades of ignoring the fuck out of you, I can survive plenty more.

Christine Celis

#10. If Christians would have the same faith in their God that non-Christians have in a mere materialistic idea, 'Thy Kingdom come' would shortly be a reality in this world of sorrow and travail.

Ben Salmon

#11. [Eventually the] hoopla will die down [and people will] run the same way we brush our teeth-every day, without a fuss.

Jim Fixx

#12. My golf is woeful but I will never surrender.

Bing Crosby