Bonnie Mcfarlane Quotes

#1. There's no such thing as a feminist - just women who pay for their own breast implants.

Bonnie McFarlane

#2. I've been called a racist before, and let me tell you something - that is harsh. That's a really ugly thing to call someone. That's like being called a Mexican.

Bonnie McFarlane

#3. I love my hunting dog. I loved my hunting dog - I'm not very good at hunting.

Bonnie McFarlane

#4. When you're pregnant, people feel like they can come up and give you unsolicited advice. When I was nine months pregnant, this one woman came up and she said, I have one word for you: epidural. And I was like, Oh my God, thanks. But we already picked a name.

Bonnie McFarlane

#5. My father was a sailor and our summer vacations were always on a sailboat. I had a little boat before I had a moped.

Ernesto Bertarelli

#6. I jog, actually; I go at night. A lot of women, they don't like to go jogging alone at night. They're afraid they might get accosted. I go naked. That way, if there are any perverts around, they think I'm already being chased.

Bonnie McFarlane

#7. When I first got into this biz called show, I decided I was going to change my name, make it more Hollywood. And you know how you do that? You take your middle name and the first street that you ever lived on. So when I first started, I actually went by Sue Rural Route 2.

Bonnie McFarlane

#8. Well I grew up in Canada in a really small town. We didn't have running water for a long time and we didn't have TV. Then when we did get TV we only had one channel.

Bonnie McFarlane

#9. When I first started doing stand-up, I would be so nervous that I would just binge drink really heavily right before my sets, and as you can imagine, that had its drawbacks. But now I'm a professional, so I pace myself throughout the day.

Bonnie McFarlane

#10. In the past, people worked together only when some great disaster threatened.

Walter Ulbricht

#11. Plant the seed now, enjoy the fruit later.

Nick

#12. I don't think cops should wear mirrored sunglasses; the whole time the guy was chewing me out, all I could think was I should cut my bangs.

Bonnie McFarlane

#13. Just a tip if you have a big event to go to or an important meeting, if you cry enough your face swells up giving you a temporary lift.

Bonnie McFarlane

#14. Sometimes when I'm bored, I like to people watch. And I got to a touristy area and I play this game I just made up. I call it Lesbian or Midwestern?

Bonnie McFarlane

#15. If you really are superior, you don't go around saying you're superior - unless you're Jewish.

Bonnie McFarlane

#16. Cocaine is yucky. I did it once: I was at a party; I was bored. I was like, 'Alright, I'll do a line.' Then I was just bored longer.

Bonnie McFarlane

#17. Intellectually, I think everyone really knows that women are funny, but it's a weird thing that people keep trotting out.

Bonnie McFarlane

#18. My god
is frozen-mouth. She is get-out-of-this-town-

or-hell-freezes-over. She is paycheck
to paycheck. Each night when she goes to bed, my god

kisses her kids' clean faces, then, thanking herself, her own.

Jennifer Givhan

#19. My sister might be dumb, but that doesn't make her all that different from the rest of us. She's just like any other American. Except she's Canadian. And retarded.

Bonnie McFarlane

#20. You know, women are burdened with all this other crap all the time, like looking good. You need to be really superhuman to be successful as a woman.

Bonnie McFarlane

#21. I could never be a lesbian because I have a really good sense of humor.

Bonnie McFarlane

#22. Every time I see Anthony Hopkins I think that, to some extent, he has just been getting away with it all these years.

Liam Neeson

#23. I think it's creepy if a guy says, I would never hit a girl. Cause that should go without saying. That's like if you ever heard a guy go, I would never crap in a hot tub.

Bonnie McFarlane

#24. Billy Beane was a guy who had been devalued by the sport as a player and now is working as a GM for a small-market team.There is such a gulf in what these teams have to spend on talent [that] they can never play equally - they can never have a true competition.

Brad Pitt

#25. I grew up in a mixed religious household. And it was volatile. My dad's atheist, my mom's agnostic. Just constant fighting. There's no God! There might be!

Bonnie McFarlane

#26. I saw the head of NOW - National Organization of Women - saying that women still only make 70 cents on the dollar to every man. I'm not sure I'm going to believe that. Women are notoriously bad at math.

Bonnie McFarlane

#27. I guess the biggest issue my husband and I are going to have is how do we raise the baby ... because he's Jewish and I'm Protestant and the baby's father is Catholic.

Bonnie McFarlane

#28. If you enjoy shaming people, I suggest dentistry as a profession.

Bonnie McFarlane

#29. There are neither the strong nor the weak. Can anyone say that the weak do not suffer more than the strong?

Shusaku Endo

#30. I've always wanted to be a writer. Always been very creative. I always laughed at things that the rest of my family would sort of get angry, like not understand.

Bonnie McFarlane