Top 30 Best Yahtzee Quotes
#1. So, Americans, then. Self-appointed vigilante defenders of the world, kind of like Superman, if Superman was retarded and only fought crime when he felt like it.
Yahtzee Croshaw
#2. The Necromancer's Tower squatted over the river like an incontinent titan.
Yahtzee Croshaw
#3. It could have been a thief or a murderer. I considered crying out. A thief would run away, but a murderer would murder me. On the other hand, the murderer would probably murder me if I didn't too. That was his whole thing.
Yahtzee Croshaw
#4. It's difficult to root for America when the villains of the story live in a ditch and are armed with jagged rocks. At some point in recent years they looked up from their international heroism to realize they'd alienated the entire world.
Yahtzee Croshaw
#5. I picked it up 'cause the back of the box said the Kinect had "finally found its hardcore game" and I interpreted that as a challenge.
Yahtzee Croshaw
#6. I realized that the job of a hero is not to save the galaxy, or rescue princesses, or slay all the dragons. That may be part of it, but in the end, a hero only has one job, and that's to make himself unnecessary.
Yahtzee Croshaw
#7. Individuals are fine once you get to know them, especially if they're interesting in conversation or have large, sumptuous breasts, but I don't like people in the plural and I've seen very little to change my mind about that.
Yahtzee Croshaw
#8. Whatever you do," Seth said around a chewy mouthful, "try not to leave me down here too long. You can only play a certain amount of Yahtzee games in a row before you become a lunatic."
"I'll keep that in mind.
Brandon Mull
#9. I don't think there's any danger of my ever becoming complacent about losing. I always hated to lose, regardless of what it was, even when the family was playing Yahtzee.
Darin Erstad
#10. Could somebody please invade America? I know it's not exactly prime real estate and can just about produce corn and shitty TV, but someone really needs to help them blow off some steam.
Yahtzee Croshaw
#12. The jam had filled the courtyard and foyer and pushed the water out of the swimming pool. Where it touched the walls, little tendrils snaked their way upwards like searching fingers. There was an overpowering stench of strawberries.
Yahtzee Croshaw
#13. Last night we were noting, a freelance musician and an unemployed. But you know what we are now? ... Both unemployed?
Yahtzee Croshaw
#15. He who trades pacing for gimmicky open-world freedom deserves neither.
Yahtzee Croshaw
#16. It's way too long and I gave up on it. Abandoning forever an innocent child to a hostile and unforgiving land. Sometimes I still hear him crying late at night. He sounds exactly like a malfunctioning air conditioner.
Yahtzee Croshaw
#17. I had passed on from life, from the world of struggles and hardship and big fat women with annoying laughs, and entered a glorious new existence of utter peace, and joy, and love.
And then some git brought me back to life
Yahtzee Croshaw
#18. The obedient Pit bull becomes the escaped tiger and it's got a knife
Yahtzee Croshaw
#19. My non American viewers. Who understand that the world does not consist solely of a single nation sailing across an infinite sea of migrant workers. Will no doubt have heard that the waters surrounding Brisbane got tired of waiting for people to hit the beach and decided to bring the party to us.
Yahtzee Croshaw
#20. I woke up one morning to find that the entire city had been covered in a three-foot layer of man-eating jam.
Yahtzee Croshaw
#21. New Super Mario Br - I'm just gonna call it "Steve" from now on, all right?
Yahtzee Croshaw
#22. I could think of no better place to secretly murder someone than inside a fridge. Well, actually there were probably several better ones, but none came to mind at the time.
Yahtzee Croshaw
#23. The main problem I always have with multiplayer is that human beings are grabby, entitled, selfish, ugly, stupid, evil cockstoppers.
Yahtzee Croshaw
#24. I'd sometimes pictured myself bravely sacrificing my life to save another, but my preference had always been that it be someone I actually liked.
Yahtzee Croshaw
#25. A Shadow's Tale - I'm going to keep calling it A Shadow's Tale because fuck America for wanting to be different and special all the time.
Yahtzee Croshaw
#26. Readers of my online journal - I refuse to use the word blog because it sounds like something that lives on a riverbed and communicates through farts
Yahtzee Croshaw
#27. With small-town America it's always either zombies or communists isn't it.
Yahtzee Croshaw
#28. There's a new spell you get around level 50 called "Mirror Image" which might as well be called "Reap On, Ye Fucking Reaper Man".
Yahtzee Croshaw
#29. Fair warning," I said. "We may die horribly the moment I turn this handle." "I beg your pardon?" I turned the handle. There
Yahtzee Croshaw
#30. Making the decision to leave Valve strikes me as right up there with turning down the throne to Narnia, but then call me an idealist, and I guess I probably wouldn't want to spend my whole life making new hats for Team Fortress 2 either.
Yahtzee Croshaw
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