Top 34 Best Terry Pratchett Discworld Quotes
#1. News is unusual things happening - And usual things happening [ ... ] But news is mainly what someone somewhere doesn't want you to put in the paper - Except that sometimes it isn't [ ... ] News, [ ... ] all depends. But you'll know it when you see it.
Terry Pratchett
#2. You can't map a sense of humor. Anyway, what is a fantasy map but a space beyond which There Be Dragons? On the Discworld we know that There Be Dragons Everywhere. They might not all have scales and forked tongues, but they Be Here all right, grinning and jostling and trying to sell you souvenirs.
Terry Pratchett
#3. I like the idea of democracy. You have to have someone everyone distrusts,
Terry Pratchett
#4. I thought dwarfs loved gold," said Angua.
"They just say that to get it into bed.
Terry Pratchett
#5. The thing is, 'Discworld' had been going on for a very long time, and I've written children's books as well. Usually when people have a really big series they franchise it, which I thought is a bit of a no-no, so I thought what I'd do is I'd franchise it to myself.
Terry Pratchett
#6. Only elves and trolls had survived the coming of Man to the discworld: the elves because they were altogether too clever by half, and the trolley folk because they were at least as good as humans at being nasty, spiteful and greedy.
Terry Pratchett
#7. You can't give her that!' she screamed. 'It's not safe!'
IT'S A SWORD, said the Hogfather. THEY'RE NOT MEANT TO BE SAFE.
'She's a child!' shouted Crumley.
IT'S EDUCATIONAL.
'What if she cuts herself?'
THAT WILL BE AN IMPORTANT LESSON.
Terry Pratchett
#9. A camel in distress isn't a shy creature. It doesn't hang around in bars, nursing a solitary drink. It doesn't phone up old friends and sob at them. It doesn't mope, or write long soulful poems about Life and how dreadful it is when seen from a bedsitter. It doesn't know what angst is.
Terry Pratchett
#10. In the first book of my Discworld series, published more than 26 years ago, I introduced Death as a character; there was nothing particularly new about this - death has featured in art and literature since medieval times, and for centuries we have had a fascination with the Grim Reaper.
Terry Pratchett
#11. Racism was not a problem on the DIscworld, because - what with trolls and dwarfs and so on - speciesism was more interesting. Black and white lived in perfect harmony and ganged up on green.
Terry Pratchett
#12. Vimes woke in damp and utter darkness with sand under his cheek. Some parts of his body reported for duty, others protested that they had a note from their mother.
Terry Pratchett
#13. Captain Vimes believed in logic, in much the same way as a man in a desert believed in ice
i.e., it was something he really needed, but this just wasn't the world for it.
Terry Pratchett
#14. Then there is the dress. It has been owned by many sisters as well and has been taken up, taken out, taken down, and taken in by her mother so many times that it really ought to have been taken away.
Terry Pratchett
#15. It's not gambling to play
against someone who's no good. It's common sense.
Terry Pratchett
#16. Tiffany found her mind filling up with an invisible gray mist, and in that thought there was nothing but grief. She could feel herself trying to push back time, but even the best witchcraft could not do that.
Terry Pratchett
#17. where actual evidence had been a bit sparse he had, in the best traditions of the keen ethnic historian, inferred from revealed self-evident wisdom*
*Made it up
and extrapolated from associated sources** **had read a lot of stuff that other people had made up, too.
Terry Pratchett
#18. On the Kite, the situation was being 'workshopped'. This is the means by which people who don't know anything get together to pool their ignorance.
Terry Pratchett
#19. The street was full of animals, milling around uncertainly. When animals are in a state of uncertainty they get nervous, and the street was already, as it were, paved with anxiety.
Terry Pratchett
#21. 'Discworld' is taking something that you know is ridiculous and treating it as if it is serious, to see if something interesting happens when you do so.
Terry Pratchett
#23. It was funny how people were people everywhere you went, even if the people concerned weren't the people the people who made up the phrase "people are people everywhere" had traditionally thought of as people.
Terry Pratchett
#24. History was full of the bones of good men who'd followed bad orders in the hope that they could soften the blow. Oh, yes, there were worse things they could do, but most of them began right where they started following bad orders.
Terry Pratchett
#25. There was something pleasant about an empty classroom. Of course, as any teacher would point out, one nice thing was that there were no children in it.
Terry Pratchett
#26. We've got a lot of experience of not having any experience
Terry Pratchett
#27. Ah, I know that," said Tiffany, as the boat rocked on the swell. "Whales aren't dangerous, because they just eat very small things ... "
"Row like the blazes, lads!" Rob Anybody yelled.
Terry Pratchett
#28. Nanny Ogg gave this the same consideration as would a nuclear physicist who'd just been told that someone was banging two bits of sub-critical uranium together to keep warm.
Terry Pratchett
#29. Occasionally a few bubbles would eructate to the surface like the ghosts of beans on bath night.
Terry Pratchett
#30. If you invited a hedge wizard to a party, he would spend half the evening talking to your potted plant. And he would spend the other half listening.
Terry Pratchett
#31. But William felt in his bones that you couldn't run a city on the basis of what the Watch liked. The Watch would probably like it if everyone spent their time indoors, with their hands on the table where people could see them.
Terry Pratchett
#32. Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.
Terry Pratchett
#33. He had died for his beliefs; chief among them was the very Hugglestonian one that bravery could replace armour, and that Klatchians would turn and run if you shouted loud enough.
Terry Pratchett
#34. The smug mask of virtue triumphant could be almost as horrible as the face of wickedness revealed.
Terry Pratchett
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