American Me Funny Quotes

#1. Deeply funny musings and adventures elevate Paul Rudnick to the highest level of American comedy writing.

Steve Martin

#2. Burroughs's voice is hard, derisive, inventive, free, funny, serious, poetic, indelibly American.

Joan Didion

#3. I'm Russian," Misha said with the faintest hint of a smile. "We angst, Max."
"I see that. Well, I'm American. We force shit on other people if we think they need it.

Avon Gale

#4. I found American actors quite scary because they're brilliant actors and brilliantly funny, and they never stopped once you wound them up ... off they went and they just deliver fantastic stuff.

Peter Capaldi

#5. There are also a number of humans living up there (Canada), and in many ways they have a lifestyle quite similar to ours, including such traditional American activities as driving Japanese cars.

Dave Barry

#6. The work of Jana Harris is unique in American writing. She has always had a voice of true grit - sometimes harsh, sometimes funny, always close to the bone, tart, and indomitable.

Alicia Ostriker

#7. Swiss cheese is the only cheese you can draw and people can identify. You can draw American cheese, but someone will think it's cheddar. It's the only cheese you can bite and miss. "Hey Mitch - does that sandwich have cheese on it?" "Every now and then!"

Mitch Hedberg

#8. The American Dream is not to own your own home, but to get your kids out of it.

Dick Armey

#9. Everyone tells me I have a funny accent. It's because I copy people. I learned English at school but have best friends who are French, Australian, English and American; a very weird mix.

Caroline Winberg

#10. I'm a misplaced American, but don't know where I was misplaced.

Ruby Wax

#11. Linda Brewer's example is inspiring, colorful and potentially very funny. Her journey also exists firmly in the Heartland tradition of American success stories and comedies.

David Duchovny

#12. It's funny - when I started acting, I didn't know I was going to be talking about Asian-American issues so much. You know what, though? It just comes with the territory, being ethnic.

Justin Chon

#13. Have you seen the Olympic uniforms? It's for the American Olympic team and it's berets. To me, nothing says America like a guy in a beret. Look at our founding fathers, they all wore berets.

David Letterman

#14. I have to return some videotapes

Bret Easton Ellis

#15. In this funny debut, flashy Filipino fashion designer Boy Hernandez sees his American dream become a nightmare when he's ensnared in a terrorist plot and shipped to Guantanamo. Gilvarry nails the couture scene, but Boy's rough journey from Manolo to Gitmo is no joke.

Andrew Abrahams

#16. That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.

George Carlin

#17. What I fell in love with as a child was 'My Fair Lady,' 'Funny Face,' 'American in Paris,' and 'Singin' in the Rain.' Just perfect movies to me and I was dancing. I started ballet when I was three. And I fell in love with those movies and fell in love with Audrey Hepburn and Leslie Caron.

Dianna Agron

#18. I'm an American so its kind of hard for me to talk about 9/11. So whenever someone brings it up in a conversation, I say "I didn't like 9/11."

Zach Galifianakis

#19. Because I'm attracted to you. Because you're the poster child for contradictions and I enjoy each one of them. You're funny when you're being so damn serious. You have a kind heart and protective nature that reminds me so much of my father.

N.D. Jones

#20. Makeup's just crazy, anyways. Native Americans used to wear it, and it did all right for them until, uh ... well, until you killed them all, I suppose.

Eddie Izzard

#21. I'm a light eater. As soon as it's light, I start to eat.

Art Donovan

#22. If the events of September 11, 2001, have proven anything, it's that the terrorists can attack us, but they can't take away what makes us American
our freedom, our liberty, our civil rights. No, only Attorney General John Ashcroft can do that.

Jon Stewart

#23. It's funny because ever since 'American Idol,' people look at me without makeup and think I'm 15 years old - they think I'm really young and quiet and shy, and that I've never been in a relationship and have never been in love or anything.

Candice Glover

#24. Monstress is an exhilarating rollercoaster of a book. Deeply funny, heartbreaking, hopeful, philosophical, bawdy, and wise, Lysley Tenorio's stories, written from the underbelly of the American Dream, present one brilliant portrait after another.

Sabina Murray

#25. Jake Johnson wanted to make clear that he was the great American actor, not just the funny guy on 'New Girl.'

Colin Trevorrow

#26. Everything is possible in America, except the production of intelligence.

Mie Hansson

#27. It's so funny because my mom is Thai and my dad is this big American guy - and our food tastes were so similar growing up. He was meat and potatoes, I was meat and potatoes.

Chrissy Teigen

#28. They (Americans) have their national game, baseball - which is cricket played with a strong American accent - and they have a national language, entirely their own, unlike any other language spoken on the earth.

George Mikes

#29. An American judo fighter was expelled from the Olympics after testing positive for marijuana. Officials became suspicious when he kept stopping the match and saying, 'What are we fighting for, man?'

Conan O'Brien

#30. The American audience has really opened up to women being A.) funny and B.) kinda crude. 'Bridesmaids' is R-rated, and I think it was a major coup for women to have an R-rated comedy that did really well. Same as 'Bad Teacher.'

Chris Pratt

#31. I have had vegan Thanksgiving of tofurkey and soy gravy. And it's not to say that Thanksgiving will ever justify the genocide of the Native Americans. But vegan Thanksgiving - that's just spitting on the graves, isn't it?

Hari Kondabolu

#32. What makes American Elf so good is that it's incredibly personal and it runs the full spectrum from super-sickening sweetness to gut-wrenching terror and sorrow. It's a funny and powerful window into a real person's mind.

Tony Millionaire

#33. I can't watch American Idol ... it's like karaoke without the booze.

Tracy Morgan

#34. When I first envisioned 'Funny Games' in the mid-1990s, it was my intention to have an American audience watch the movie. It is a reaction to a certain American cinema, its violence, its naivety, the way American cinema toys with human beings. In many American films, violence is made consumable.

Michael Haneke

#35. American rock has a sort of self-pitying whine to it.

Bill Bailey

#36. I did not see myself as a leading lady. I thought I was really funny-looking and I would never be the lead, and I certainly would never do film or television. I wanted to do theater. I wanted to be the grand dame of the American stage.

Kathy Baker

#37. Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine.

Dave Moulton

#38. Remove yourself, sir!

David McCullough

#39. Seinfeld was typically American in that show. He was a pretty funny guy, but he had no sense of style. Tacky like a Texan tux. Tasteless dressing and tasteful jokes. That's Seinfeld for me. I would have preferred it the other way around.

Hallgrimur Helgason

#40. American comedies about Asians have never been funny to me. That always kind of pissed me off.

Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa

#41. The standard four food groups are based on American agricultural lobbies. Why do we have a milk group? Because we have a National Dairy Council. Why do we have a meat group? Because we have an extremely powerful meat lobby.

Marion Nestle

#42. I love the script and I just thought it was a great role. Like I say, it's like this - the script is like this sad, funny, desperate love song to the lost American man.

Oliver Platt

#43. I was a little bit ashamed of American TV because I thought, 'None of the shows my father works on are as funny as my father.'

Joss Whedon

#44. Whenever I'm in the U.K., people say I have an American accent. Which is, obviously, funny.

Zedd

#45. It's funny, I started by making fake American movies, 'The Transporter' and stuff like that. I was shooting in France, but everything was in English. But then afterwards, I was looking at real French movies like the Jacques Audiard movies.

Louis Leterrier

#46. My "Christianity" was once again just the American religion of work hard, do good, feel good, and maybe God will say, "We good.

Jefferson Bethke