Top 100 Alice Clayton Quotes
#1. Stop it. If you say sorry one more time I'm gonna go find something of yours and pee on it, I swear.
Alice Clayton
#2. Pushing thoughts of spanking and Simon from my mind, I went back to my DVDs. Spanking Simon. What a great name for a band.
Alice Clayton
#3. I'm a practical romantic. I can actually see some appeal in having a guy who travels a lot, because, frankly? I like my space. I also take up the entire bed, so it's difficult for me to sleep with anyone.
Alice Clayton
#4. I got in trouble for fondling buns, he whispered.
Alice Clayton
#5. Give it up, mister! No sex for you!" I yelled at the wall as my girls cackled maniacally.
"Tons of sex for me, sister. None for you!" he yelled all too clearly through the wall.
Alice Clayton
#6. If it was perfect, we would be rolling around on the sand together, kissing like mad." I stopped walking and looked him straight in the eye. Then I lay down on the sand, and began to roll myself back and forth. He closed his eyes and tilted his face to the sky. "Fucking nuts girl," he sighed.
Alice Clayton
#8. His eyes were on my behind. And when caught? Didn't even have the decency to blush. Naughty boy.
Alice Clayton
#10. Grace, did you just sniff my shirt?" He asked, incredulous.
"Yep, I did. What of it? And after you leave, I'll probably lay on your side for a while because the pillow smells like you. I'm ridiculous when I'm in love. We're talking Hallmark over here.
Alice Clayton
#12. One last thump, one last groan - and one last meow. Then all was blessedly silent. Except for Clive. He continued to pine for his lost love until four mother-loving a.m. The cold war was back on ...
Alice Clayton
#13. The beginnings of carpal tunnel were threatening to set in as I tried desperately to get myself off. But O was on seemingly permanent hiatus. And I don't mean Oprah.
Alice Clayton
#14. There was a hickey on the side of my neck the size of a quarter. I looked like I had argued with a Hoover and the Hoover won. Jesus.
Alice Clayton
#15. I agree with you. Everyone gets lonely sometimes.
Alice Clayton
#16. There's all kinds of stuff on the internet. You could've Googled it." he stated. still moving his hand closer. I could feel the energy between us begin to hum again. "I think that you should go Google yourself, Brit boy. I'm not interested in Googling you .
Alice Clayton
#18. This is the heart I need. And if I have this - and a little schmaltz - I dont need anything else in the world
Alice Clayton
#19. My mouth had sought his, and his had grown as eager as mine. There was no fairy-tale music, but there was something there. And it had quickly hardened against my thigh.
Alice Clayton
#20. I panted like a whore in church. The Church of Simon ... where I was dying to kneel before him.
Alice Clayton
#21. But when you go weeks without that same 190 pounds in your bed, the truth is, it felt kind of nice to sleep underneath that. Or at least, off to the side just a little bit. I loved him, but I loved my kidneys too.
Alice Clayton
#22. I knew I should have changed your name from Nightie Girl to Naughty Girl.
Alice Clayton
#23. Sleep hair, or the speedbump abs. Practically.
Alice Clayton
#24. He shook his head. "You're a bit of a train wreck, aren't you?" I puffed a bit of hair away from my face. "Choo choo?
Alice Clayton
#25. So what do we do next? Y'know, as people in a relationship after they've solved a conflict."
"Pretty sure a blow job should follow this," he said seriously.
Alice Clayton
#26. You really have no idea, do you?"
"No idea about what?"
"How thoroughly you own me, Nightie Girl," he said, leaning in to whisper this part in my ear. "And I know I love you enough to want you to have your happy ending.
Alice Clayton
#27. He was the yin to my yang, the frick to my frack, the melba toast to my Chex.
Alice Clayton
#28. The sounds pouring forth from his nasal passages registered somewhere between grizzly bear and exploding tractor trailer.
Alice Clayton
#29. Rang out from the kitchen, and I grinned in relief.
Alice Clayton
#30. I was harder to pin down, but I knew him when I saw him. Like the Supreme Court and pornography, I was aware.
Alice Clayton
#31. Prepare yourself, I'm taking bread out of the oven.
Don't tease me, woman ... zucchini? Cranberry orange.
Mmmm ... No woman has ever done breakfast bread foreplay the way you do.
Alice Clayton
#33. With one lick, I was close. With a second lick, I was close to stupid.
Alice Clayton
#34. -"Wow,are we becoming friends?" I asked.
-"Hmmm ... friends." He appeared to think carefully and examined me and my state of blush.
"Yes, I think we are."
-"Interesting. From cockblocker to friend. Not bad." I giggled.
Alice Clayton
#35. He pushed me back up against the door, slamming me against the doorbell. I heard it ring out.
"Coming!" I heard Holly say as she clicked across the floor to the front door.
"Not quite, but she's close." He chuckled, removing his hand and leaving me breathless and rosy cheeked.
Alice Clayton
#36. Be aware of the walls you build and what could be on the other side
Alice Clayton
#37. Because no one can hurt you quite like someone who says he loves you.
Alice Clayton
#38. Well, I drank enough to sustain a small Spanish village, I haven't had an orgasm in a thousand years, and I will probably die old and alone in a beautifully designed apartment with all of Clive's illegitimate children swarming around me ... How do you think I feel?
Alice Clayton
#39. Oh , God, the British Have landed, Haven't they?
Alice Clayton
#41. I assigned him to help me trim the Brussels sprouts, but instead he kept trying to throw them away when he thought I wasn't looking.
Brussels sprouts, Grace, really? These are our friends. Why are you doing this to them?
Alice Clayton
#42. You can't misinterpret the sound of a good spanking, and someone was receiving one next door.
Alice Clayton
#43. The girl next door was meowing. What in the world was my neighbor packing to make that happen?
Alice Clayton
#44. Dressed in black pants, a white button-down, and a leather jacket, he was sophisticated but cool. A man about town, a globetrotter, a secret cat whisperer who would sell his soul for an apple pie. And he was mine.
Alice Clayton
#45. Was this Cowboy Hank? Oh my, yes, it was. Because his belt buckle told me so .
Alice Clayton
#46. The tension was so thick in the room, it was too much. He was too much. I couldn't take the pressure, so I panicked. Sexy and in control Grace left and twelve-year-old Grace took her place. "Heh, heh, you said nuts," I burst out. My self-edit button was now turned off for good.
Alice Clayton
#48. The right woman for you wouldn't want you to change anything about your life. She wouldn't rock your boat, she'd jump right in and sail it with you.
Alice Clayton
#49. And then I tasted nothing but his sweet lips, pressed firmly to mine, as I kissed him like it was my job.
Alice Clayton
#50. Just trying to get a visual of you on the beach in Spain ...
How's that working out for you?
Pretty spiffy.
Spiffy? Did you just say spiffy?
I typed it actually. You got something against spiffy?
Alice Clayton
#51. I wouldn't say I know him, but I'm familiar with his work.
Alice Clayton
#52. Love is messy, painful and emotionally draining. It hardly seems worth it.
Alice Clayton
#53. Don't you see that I'm trying to do exactly that? How in the world can I grow up if I continue to do as I'm told, smiling and nodding like some pretty robot? What kind of a life is that?
Alice Clayton
#54. He turned, leaning against the door, one arm over his head. Beef. To the motherfucking. Cake.
Alice Clayton
#55. Clive remained behind Simon's knees.
Simon's Knees . . .
What a great name for a band.
Alice Clayton
#57. Like a junkie, I was jonesing for a romance novel coupling. I needed a pulsing pillar of passion, a mammoth mail member, a cocky cobra ready to tangle with my vaginal mongoose.
I also needed to think about upgrading my reading. My imagery was actually starting to bother me.
Alice Clayton
#58. You know those moments when everything is exactly the way it was meant to be? When you find yourself and your entire universe aligning in perfect synchronization, and you know you couldn't possibly be more content? I was inside that very moment, and fully conscious of it.
Alice Clayton
#59. I scrambled backward on the bed, moving toward the headboard.
"Where you going, sweet Caroline?" he asked, crawling across the bed to get to me.
"I wanted to hold on for this," I quipped, arching an eyebrow and my back as I grabbed on to the iron headboard.
"That's my girl.
Alice Clayton
#60. Caroline, I love the shit out of you. So calm down and just tell me what you need. No more holding back. And then I'll tell you what I need, and we'll figure out how to work it out.
Alice Clayton
#61. I felt a tap on my shoulder. I knew it was him. My skin told me.
Alice Clayton
#62. That's the only reason," he said. "Have a good night. Sweet dreams.
Alice Clayton
#63. Always take a compliment, Caroline. Always take it for the way it was intended. You girls are always so quick to twist what others say. Simply say thank you and move on.
Alice Clayton
#64. His eyes were so blue, it was like looking at two angry oceans.
Alice Clayton
#65. I moaned like a whore in church.
To be fair, I'd never actually heard a whore moan in church, but I had a feeling it sounded a lot like the unholy sounds pouring forth from my mouth.
Alice Clayton
#66. You gonna bang my walls, Simon?" I laughed.
"You have no idea," he promised.
Alice Clayton
#67. Dream Caroline and Dream Simon were some naughty kids.
Alice Clayton
#68. Babies were born, old people died, stocks were traded, and someone faked an orgasm. All in those five seconds.
Alice Clayton
#69. Before I eat your bagel, we should be formally introduced, don't you think?
Alice Clayton
#70. He is always Mr. Calm, Cool, and Collected. The only time he was remotely this excitable was when they announced they were making the Lord of the Rings movie.
Alice Clayton
#71. Twenty-four year olds were my new favourite thing. I needed to tell Oprah to put them on her list.
Alice Clayton
#72. High school Simon was big man on campus. He'd had his own posse of what I called the apostles (his old pals Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John), headed by his old bestie, Trevor.
Alice Clayton
#73. Oh please, like you don't know. You're bigger than a breadbox!
Alice Clayton
#74. He was everything I'd ever wanted, and everything I hadn't even known I needed.
Alice Clayton
#75. Beneath the sheet - which was already lower on his hips than should be legal
He
Was
Still
Hard
Alice Clayton
#76. I want you. I want that, what they had today. I want it all, and I want it with you. I want you, want you to be my wife. I've got a ring, I'll give it to you right now if you'll say yes.
Alice Clayton
#77. My boyfriend likes to fuck my brains out on our kitchen island. Which tile would you recommend for that?
Alice Clayton
#78. She realized it wasn't about the wedding; it was about the marriage. Her. Him. Together. She got married barefoot because all she cared about was him. That guy. And the throw-up shoes weren't going to stop that from happening.
Alice Clayton
#79. The irony that Simon was literally trying to run away from pussy was not lost on me.
Alice Clayton
#80. I arched my back and flexed my hips experimentally ... once ... twice ... a third time. It really was true what they said about riding a bike. My body remembered this just as quickly.
Alice Clayton
#81. I turned to kiss his fingertips. He stared into my eyes again, those sex sapphires doing their voodoo that made me a puddle of voodoo goo. For him to woo. See what he did to me?
Alice Clayton
#82. A minute. What the hell? Are you really entertaining the idea of a ... gulp ... relationship? And why the fuck did I actually think the word "gulp"? That was a little dramatic, Parker.
Alice Clayton
#83. I will play Truth or Dare, you sucker, until you can't tell your truth from your dare. -CAROLINE
Alice Clayton
#84. Wrapped around each other but now clad in a pink nightie and a pair of sweatpants. To be clear, I wore the pink nightie.
Alice Clayton
#85. Babies. I want to fill you up with babies. Like, make you pregnant with babies. And have some of the babies. Babies. Babies. Caroline? Babies
Alice Clayton
#86. Well, considering my entire life, now seems rules by odd coincidences, I figure it's right on track.
Alice Clayton
#88. But my parents were there when I needed them, always there. The idea that I would someday have to walk the earth without their anchor and misguided guidance made me wince ...
Alice Clayton
#89. My shirt bunched up around my waist, and the feeling of his hi-there against my hoohah was indescribable.
Alice Clayton
#90. Simon thought I was lovely.
Was the Giggler out of the harem?
Was there even a harem left?
What did this mean?
Would I only think in questions now?
And if so, who is Eric Cartman's father?
Alice Clayton
#91. Did I arch my back when his gazes finally made it to my chest? Of course I did. And was rewarded with a nostril flare, the equivalent of a facial boner.
Alice Clayton
#92. I don't care how old you are, or what background you come from, there are two universal truths. We will always laugh at ... gas if it happens at the wrong time, and we are always curious about what goes on in other people's bedrooms.
Alice Clayton
#93. I was struck by how easy this was, how comfortable it was. There was no onion to peel here; Clark was an open book. Easy to read, easy to predict, he'd tell me anything I asked him. No holding back, no games, no bullshit.
Alice Clayton
#94. Get your sweet ass back here. Room 2104.
Don't make me come looking for you
I will make a scene.
I will identify this motherfucking redhead.
Alice Clayton
#95. He lifted his head and opened his eyes. Singularly focused, dark, and of one mind-set.
Simon was about to fuck.
Alice Clayton
#96. I'll feel guilty Monday, but today I can't think about anything work related. My head will literally burst.
Alice Clayton
#97. Look how fantastic this ring looks on my hand while it's holding your cook."
"Jesus Christ, woman.
Alice Clayton
#98. Think I even noticed that I had a forehead full of sofa? Hell no, I had a Wallbanger kneeling between my legs.
Alice Clayton
#99. I didn't think I could love you more, but I really kind of do.
Alice Clayton
#100. We have to stop, this is insane. I literally cannot handle anymore. I think I've lost brain function. I can actually feel myself becoming stupid"
...
"Not possible. Let's test it. What's two times two?"
"Orange?
Alice Clayton
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