Alf's Quotes

#1. Alf's nails wander around his forehead like nails do when wandering among memories and opening doors that have long been closed.

Fredrik Backman

#2. There are two main goals behind ALF actions. The first is obviously to remove as many animals as possible from fur farms, vivisection labs, and other areas of abuse. The second is to cause as much economic damage to these industries and persons as possible.

Jerry Vlasak

#3. Alf Todd," said Ukridge, soaring to an impressive burst of imagery, "has about as much chance as a one-armed blind man in a dark room trying to shove a pound of melted butter into a wild cat's left ear with a red-hot needle.

P.G. Wodehouse

#4. Sir," James asked, "what are we going to do?"
"We're going to look for water," said Alf.
"And food?" said Tubby Ted.
"Water first," said Alf. "We can go days without food."
"We can what?" Tubby Ted shouted.

Dave Barry

#5. I have to have some kind of creative outlet; otherwise, I'm hell to be around.

Withered Hand

#6. Looking at the fire on the stone.

Daae ALF

#7. Call it holistic or holographic thinking, it's been quite effective imagining the world's problems are all right in front of you on a smaller scale with your band. You deal with those relationships, and that's where real major change begins.

Stone Gossard

#8. A 'alf-litre ain't enough. It don't satisfy. And a 'ole litre's too much.

George Orwell

#9. You don't get to choose your siblings,' mutters Alf. Elsa

Fredrik Backman

#10. Shakespeare put no children in his plays for a reason," Sir Godfrey muttered, glaring at Alf and Binnie.
"You're forgetting the Little Prince," Polly reminded him.
"Who he had the good sense to kill off in the second act," snapped Sir Godfrey.

Connie Willis

#11. As he journeyed alone toward the monster that is death, we could do nothing to help him, nor the others still alive; all the words of strength on our lips melted away, our love not great enough to bind them to life, and our hope not enough to will them to live.

Alfred Nestor

#12. Is it a particularly British trait to so utterly adore truly appalling men, from Tony Hancock through to Steptoe and Alf Garnett, Captain Mainwaring, Rigsby, Del Boy, Victor Meldrew and on to David Brent from The Office. The most deeply adored characters are all simply vile.

A.A. Gill

#13. Can you smell his sweat? That peculiar goatish odor is trans-3-methyl-2 hexenoic acid. Remember it, it's the smell of schizophrenia.

Thomas Harris

#14. Anybody can claim to be a member of the ALF when rescuing animals, destroying "tools of torture" (such as research equipment) or financially depleting a corporation that abuses animals.

Charlotte Laws

#15. Mine means 'body,' Tanu interjected.
'Wow, that's so eerie,' ALF said. 'Because ... you have a body.

Megan McCafferty

#16. After a week he was moved to a different wing and into a shared six-by-eight with a grizzled old con called Alf. He had faded tattoos that stained most of the visible skin on his hands, arms and neck a dull blue, sharp eyes and a thick beard that made his mouth look like an axe wound on a bear.

R.D. Ronald

#17. God opens doors for you, but do not expect Him to walk through them for you. He delivered the Israelites from Egypt, but they were still required to walk to the Promised Land. They did not need to pray for a miracle, the miracle was in their feet.

Matshona Dhliwayo

#18. the English drinking their 'alf and 'alf out of pewter mugs, the French drinking their claret out of very thin glasses, while our Russian shipmates and ourselves drank something harder out of thick glasses which were very small at the bottom.

Charles Erskine

#19. Jesus had a universal concern for those who suffered that transcended the rules of the ancient world.

John Ortberg

#20. I have always worked out, and I've gone through different phases of yoga, but the combination of Pilates three days a week with yoga is incredible.

Claudia Schiffer

#21. Even Alf is not humorous at times.

Jonathan Safran Foer

#22. Don't let your fear hold you back, Jaz." - Alf Abrahamsen

A.Z. Green

#23. I will be the last person to condemn ALF [the Animal Liberation Front].

Ingrid Newkirk

#24. I'm wearing this fake smile.

Daae ALF

#25. Opposite Lennart and Maud lives Alf. He drives a taxi and always wears a leather jacket under a layer of irascibility.

Fredrik Backman

#26. They looked plainly scared, except for one, a wiry boy with bright orange hair - not the largest of the lot, but the one who seemed to be in charge. He had an air about him, Alf thought, the look of a boy who doesn't miss much.

Dave Barry

#27. I would say practical progressive, which means that the Republican party or any political party has got to recognize the problems of a growing and complex industrial civilization. And I don't think the Republican party is really wide awake to that.

Alf Landon

#28. At times the engine stopped, and grown-ups and children climbed out of the carriages with tins to collect water from the engine steam pipes. This was the only drinking water that we had access to, and though it was hot and very rusty, it was the best drink I felt I'd ever had.

Alfred Nestor

#29. The piano is a universal instrument. If you start there, learn your theory and how to read, you can go on to any other instrument.

Eddie Van Halen

#30. Wherever I have gone in this country, I have found Americans.

Alf Landon

#31. So often I speak of "out of the box thinking" and living a "conscious life"; however, not regularly do I meet someone who lives such a life. What an inspiration (and challenge) to see someone who really lives in the now, who looks forward and dares to stop when thoughts turn to pain from the past!

Paula Heller Garland

#32. The thing is, all my heroes were junkies. Lenny Bruce, Keith Richards, William Burroughs, Miles Davis, Hubert Selby, Jr ... These guys were cool. They were committed. They would not have been caught dead doing an ALF episode.

Jerry Stahl

#33. Why don't you lift the end?" said Alf. "It's me back, Alf," complained Mack. "You know how it troubles me." "No more than mine troubles me," said Alf. "But I said it first," said Mack.

Dave Barry

#34. A government is free in proportion to the rights it guarantees to the minority.

Alf Landon