Alexander Woollcott Quotes

#1. All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal or fattening

Alexander Woollcott

#2. He (Alexander Woollcott) always praises the first production of each season, being reluctant to stone the first cast.

Walter Winchell

#3. Today just might be the best day to start seriously thinking about quitting smoking ...

Alexander Woollcott

#4. A broker is a man who runs your fortune into a shoestring.

Alexander Woollcott

#5. I count it a high honor to belong to a profession in which the good men write every paragraph, every sentence, every line, as lovingly as any Addison or Steele, and do so in full regard that by tomorrow it will have been burned, or used, if at all, to line a shelf.

Alexander Woollcott

#6. Nothing risque, nothing gained.

Alexander Woollcott

#7. There's nothing wrong with Oscar Levant - nothing a miracle won't cure.

Alexander Woollcott

#8. You sound so reasonable for a man who's been jilted. Can't you sound a bit angry? You just lost the best sex of your life. Punch a wall or something!

Bronwyn Scott

#9. Mrs. Patrick Cambell is an aged British battleship sinking rapidly and firing every available gun on her rescuers.

Alexander Woollcott

#10. Everyone always sees more than they remember. And sometimes people see things they're not ready to accept.

Kathleen Peacock

#11. I don't want any yes-men around me. I want everybody to tell me the truth even if it costs them their jobs.

Samuel Goldwyn

#12. It comes from the likes of you! Take what you can get! Grab the chances as they come along! Act in hallways! Sing in doorways! Dance in cellars!

Alexander Woollcott

#13. Reading Proust is like bathing in someone else's dirty water.

Alexander Woollcott

#14. Everything I like is either illegal, immoral or fattening.

Alexander Woollcott

#15. A good battle plan that you act on today can be better than a perfect one tomorrow.

George S. Patton

#16. To all things clergic I am allergic.

Alexander Woollcott

#17. I'm tired of hearing it said that democracy doesn't work. Of course it doesn't work. We are supposed to work it.

Alexander Woollcott

#18. The scenery in the play was beautiful, but the actors got in front of it.

Alexander Woollcott

#19. There's absolutely nothing wrong with Oscar Levant that a miracle can't fix.

Alexander Woollcott

#20. There is no such thing in anyone's life as an unimportant day.

Alexander Woollcott

#21. A wise man once told me that you can't change what's happened but you can damn sure change what's yet to come.

Vicki Green

#22. Babies in silk hats playing with dynamite.

Alexander Woollcott

#23. A hick town is one where there is no place to go where you shouldn't go.

Alexander Woollcott

#24. The two oldest professions in the world - ruined by amateurs.

Alexander Woollcott

#25. In America the dream is to make it out of the ghetto. In Soweto, because there was no leaving the ghetto, the dream was to transform the ghetto.

Trevor Noah

#26. At 83 Shaw's mind was perhaps not quite as good as it used to be, but it was still better than anyone else's.

Alexander Woollcott

#27. You haven't lived until you died in New York.

Alexander Woollcott

#28. Los Angeles is seven suburbs in search of a city.

Alexander Woollcott

#29. 'Oh, the Places You'll Go!,' by Dr. Seuss, is still one of my favorite books ever.

Hilary Swank

#30. Our focus should always be to lead in such a way that other Christians, as well as non-believers, will see Christ in us.

Linda Clark

#31. Germany was the cause of Hitler as much as Chicago is responsible for the Chicago Tribune.

Alexander Woollcott

#32. His huff arrived and he departed in it.

Alexander Woollcott

#33. Many of us spend half our time wishing for things we could have if we didn't spend half our time wishing.

Alexander Woollcott

#34. The English have an extraordinary ability for flying into a great calm.

Alexander Woollcott