Abe Lemons Quotes

#1. You always catch the wrong players.

Abe Lemons

#2. We were beginning to understand why, in pre-anaesthetic days, the Bible had stipulated that suicide was a sin. Anything other than the prospect of eternal damnation, and the human race would probably have done away with itself at the first sign of the dentist.

Kate Griffin

#3. You may be big in New York, but in Walters, Oklahoma, you're nobody.

Abe Lemons

#4. Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor.

Abe Lemons

#5. Once upon a time there was a boy who didn't get to fall in love. The End.

John Goode

#6. If I make a set of rules, then a guy goes out and steals an airplane. He comes back and says, 'It wasn't in the rules.'

Abe Lemons

#7. Hell no. When I die I want to be sick.

Abe Lemons

#8. Damn referees, I'll miss them less than anybody.

Abe Lemons

#9. I don't understand these new coaches who don't drink. What do they do when they get beat?

Abe Lemons

#10. Doctors bury their mistakes, but mine are still on scholarship.

Abe Lemons

#11. There are really only two plays: Romeo and Juliet, and put the darn ball in the basket.

Abe Lemons

#12. I'd rather be a football coach. That way you only lose eleven games a year.

Abe Lemons

#13. The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.

Abe Lemons

#14. You mean in the state?

Abe Lemons

#15. It was a hole in one contest and I had a three.

Abe Lemons

#16. Governing a large state is like boiling a small fish.

Laozi

#17. They wanted to buy out my contract, but I couldn't make change for a $20, so they had to let me stay.

Abe Lemons

#18. He that is not in the warres is not out of danger.

George Herbert

#19. I don't have any tricky plays, I'd rather have tricky players.

Abe Lemons

#20. I don't jog, if I die I want to be sick.

Abe Lemons

#21. You know what they call the fellow who finishes last in his medical school graduating class? They call him 'Doctor.'

Abe Lemons

#22. Coaches who shoot par in the summer are the guys I want on my schedule in the winter.

Abe Lemons

#23. I'm a failed poet. Maybe every novelist wants to write poetry first, finds he can't, and then tries the short story, which is the most demanding form after poetry. And, failing at that, only then does he take up novel writing.

William Faulkner

#24. We did have three go to the YMCA.

Abe Lemons

#25. One day of practice is like one day of clean living. It doesn't do you any good.

Abe Lemons