Top 26 2015 New Sayings
#1. As long as you don't think he's just pretending not to mind for your sake, it sounds like he has truly accepted that blow jobs are too difficult and painful for you to perform, and he's still very satisfied with your sex life. Take him at his word.
Mallory Ortberg
#2. The most important environmental issue is one that is rarely mentioned, and that is the lack of a conservation ethic in our culture.
Gaylord Nelson
#3. If you cannot love the pain, you can at least love the lessons it teaches
Andrew Davidson
#4. Let us, above all, be clear that, without a convincing program of debt relief to start the new millennium, our objective of halving world poverty by 2015 will be only a pipe dream.
Kofi Annan
#5. Of course I would never compare myself to someone who actually went through a war, but I definitely matured shooting 'The Pacific.' I'm more calm and I have more patience.
Rami Malek
#6. Groundhog found fog. New snows and blue toes. Fine and dandy for Valentine candy. Snow spittin'; if you're not mitten-smitten, you'll be frostbitten! By jing-y feels spring-y.
Old Farmer's Almanac
#7. 1945-1990 - Russophobia
1990-2015 - Islamophobia
2015- ?? - Russophobia AND Islamophobia.
Isnt it time the MI Complex created a new bogey-man?
Arindam Mukherjee
#8. I don't really want to do topless stuff anymore.
Katie Price
#9. Then she slammed her locker shut and sashayed away. I just HATE it when MacKenzie sashays.
Rachel Renee Russell
#11. Where is there beauty when you see deprivation and starvation?
Rosalind Russell
#12. There are lots of love stories here," she says. "They either end happily, or everyone dies." She laughs, but it sound more like a sob. "What else is there, right?
Lauren DeStefano
#13. We will introduce an electric car by 2015. It will be a completely new vehicle concept for mega-cities. We would also have it developed if, contrary to expectations, it did not turn a profit in its first life cycle.
Norbert Reithofer
#14. New Labour leader Ed Miliband announces plan to 'make this party slightly less unelectable by 2015'. He added: 'I am Ed, the Almighty One.'
Defeated brother David Miliband overheard muttering: 'Now I know how Wayne Christ felt after little Jesus came along.
Andy Zaltzman
#16. Goodbye, 2014. You've been a real kick in my lady balls; I definitely will not miss you. Hello, 2015, the year of success and new adventures,
Danielle Jamie
#17. Clegg, Miliband, Farage resigning (rumours that they are to be the new Top Gear line-up cannot be confirmed at this time).
Charles Stross
#18. We expect the launches of Skylake, Microsoft's Windows 10 and new OEM systems will bring excitement to client computing in the second half of 2015.
Brian Krzanich
#19. Sunsets require sunshine ["Surveillance: Out of the Shadows," New York Review of Books, June 2, 2015].
David Cole
#20. A New Year has tiptoed in.
Let's go forward to meet it.
Let's welcome the 365 days it brings.
Let's live well with love in our hearts towards God and all people.
Let's walk through it's corridors with praise songs on our lips.
Anusha Atukorala
#21. The 2015 edition updates the 2013 edition with more than 40 pages of new content.
D.K. Segraves
#22. Where I come from, if you weren't a drag queen or a radical thinker or a performance artist of some kind, you were the weirdo.
IO Tillett Wright
#24. I guess this is where they send the abortions that live.
Garth Ennis
#25. Obamacare is socialism? Nope - as insurance companies vie to sell new policies, competition within private industry is growing rapidly, with the number of participating insurers growing by 26 percent between 2014 and 2015, and the number of products they offer growing by 66 percent.
Kurt Eichenwald
#26. I believe music should reflect yourself in some way and not just yourself at the given time. I feel that when you die or when you're going, someone's supposed to listen to that music and know everything about you. And I just try to get that across.
Lil' Wayne
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