Stewart Francis Quotes & Sayings

#1. Standing in the park, I was wondering why a frisbee looks larger the closer it gets ... then it hit me

#2. You know who really gives kids a bad name? Posh and Becks.

#3. My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that.

#4. Receiving oral sex from an ugly person is like rock climbing; you should never look down.

#5. I went to a Karaoke Bar last night that didn't play any 70s music, at first I was afriad, oh I was petrified

#6. I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. Riveting!

#7. I quit my job at the helium gas factory. I didn't like being spoken to in that voice.

#8. My father is schizophrenia, but he's good people.

#9. So what if I can't spell Armaggedon? ... it's not the end of the world.

#10. So what if I cant spell Armageddon, its not the end of the world.

#11. My dad has a weird hobby; he collects empty bottles ... which sounds so much better than "alcoholic."

#12. Even though I'm proud by dad invented the rear-view mirror, we're not as close as we appear.

#13. Allyson Smith reminds me of a younger, prettier, funnier me. Now if you'll excuse me, the ladies from my bridge club have arrived.

#14. I don't think lesbians should be allowed to use dildos, afterall they've made their choice

#15. Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse but enough about Kanye West.

Stewart Francis Quotes