Richard Rider Quotes

#1. ...but if they go on strike you'll have to walk back. You'll have to swim back, you'll have to see Dad in his Speedos and you'll die.

Richard Rider

#2. He squeezes his eyes shut and tries to steady his breathing, then he decides that's stupid. He's come this far, he's handcuffed to the bed, he's about to let a tattooed part-time drag queen in thigh-high leather boots fuck him. What's the point of trying for self-control?

Richard Rider

#3. Ha ha ha. But what if, right, when you come home, what if I ain't wearing nothing but Nutella?"
"Your double negatives make me want to kill you.

Richard Rider

#4. Poor innocent me, just going about my business, then you raped me down the ear with your gun."
Lindsay nicks the bottle, smirking just slightly, and say's " You loved it, you tart.

Richard Rider

#5. Naughty little boys who don't eat their vegetables get their bottoms
smacked and go to bed without pudding,

Richard Rider

#6. He's got one leg hooked up over Lindsay's shoulder, one braced against the dashboard. He's still got his socks on, red with a little Christmas tree on each ankle. Well sexy.

Richard Rider

#7. You are not deep and complex. You're the most 2-D person I've ever met in my life. Miyazaki drew you and threw you straight on the scrap pile because you look too anime

Richard Rider

#8. He's beautiful because he's not and he doesn't care.

Richard Rider

#9. Too fucking late for sorry, innit? I hope he catches bubonic plague and dies in slow fucking agony the day before they legalise euthanasia and then I'm gonna go and learn Riverdance and I don't care how fucking long it takes cos I wanna do it on his grave.

Richard Rider

#10. You can buy me a drink if you want," the kid says, suddenly appearing at Pip's shoulder. He turns round a bit to look at him, trying not to smile.
"That's generous of you."
"Ain't it?"
"What makes you think I'd wanna buy another man a drink?"
"Cos your t-shirt's got a unicorn on it.

Richard Rider

#11. If I just open this window a bit, that man might put his finger
up your bum. Wouldn't that be nice for you?

Richard Rider

#12. You warped me. I was a perfectly normal-
-drug addicted bisexual hooker-fucking criminal.
-perfectly normal sensible man with normal sensible urges
before you.

Richard Rider