Nick Pageant Quotes

#1. I was not raped! I had a boxing lesson! Are you both crazy?

Nick Pageant

#2. I'll read anything since I'm something of a book slut.

Nick Pageant

#3. Thanks for the penis, God. I don't have the balls to be a woman.

Nick Pageant

#4. Like the fact that he's my twin brother and I know you'll eventually ask us to double-penetrate you."
I tried very hard to look shocked. "I don't even know what that means, Shane."
"And you're never going to find out.

Nick Pageant

#5. No one ever spoke above a whisper in the staff lounge, but I felt the need to shush her anyway. I gave her my best librarian frown and put one finger to my lips. It works every time. We librarians are like practitioners of Jedi mind-control when it comes to shushing.

Nick Pageant

#6. I like trees, they will someday be books.

Nick Pageant

#7. Can we all agree that the sexiest thing in the world is a nice ass in a jockstrap? Is there anything better in creation? I think not.

Nick Pageant

#8. There's going to be just a teeny bit of angst (this is a romance book) and then there's going to be a Happily Ever After. And, oh yes, dicks and butts, lots of dicks and butts. Seriously, keep a wet wipe handy, there's some really hot stuff in here.

Nick Pageant

#9. Don't worry, though, I'm sure you're still both tighter than the knots on a tree.

Nick Pageant

#10. I was on a kick of reading nothing but gay romance because I was in a bit of a sexual slump, unless you count reading one handed, if you do, I was having lots and lots of sex.

Nick Pageant

#11. I'd have to read and escape into another world where cops don't literally mean nightstick when they say nightstick and pucker is a noun.

Nick Pageant

#12. Cardigans can be very sexy."
"Really? Go into the bathroom, stare into the mirror, then come back out here and tell me if you'd fuck yourself.

Nick Pageant

#13. Besides, this story, my story, is a lot more interesting than some dried up old Russians. Why? This story has dicks, lots and lots of dicks. Oh, so now you're interested? I should have put dick in the first line.

Nick Pageant

#14. Fine, Gran. I'll fist his ass.

Nick Pageant

#15. fired up my e-reader to get lost in Easter Lust. It's a story about a bunny rabbit shifter who meets a chicken shifter. They come together, fall in love, and then, tragically, discover they're both submissive bottoms.

Nick Pageant

#16. Nothing says I love you like a pre- lubricated butthole.

Nick Pageant

#17. Whatever this guy was about to dish out, I was prepared to respond with, "Thank you, sir, and, may I have another?

Nick Pageant

#18. Now I was truly offended. "I don't read romance novels," I hissed, "I read gay fiction.

Nick Pageant

#19. I held a beautiful leather-bound copy of Moby Dick in one hand and my Moby dick in the other.

Nick Pageant

#20. She's a lot more than nice," Gran said with a leer, "after our last date, I came home with my face looking like a glazed donut. That gal's juices are flowing. She must be on some kind of hormone replacement therapy.

Nick Pageant

#21. I was one sexy, cardigan-clad HoMoFo.

Nick Pageant

#22. Somewhere along the way, I stopped living in the real world. I expected life to be like my books. I expected happily ever after out of every situation and when I didn't get it, I'd just read another book.

Nick Pageant