Top 2 Karen Alpert Quotes
#1. I love when those annoyingly perfect moms brag that they ONLY give their kids all-natural shit. You know what's all-natural? Poisonous berries and 'shrooms.
#2. My rugrats give me gifts that say "#1 Mom" on them and I'm like, bwhahahahaha, joke's on you, I'm more like the #1,297,279 Mom. But they truly think I'm the best mom on earth. And that's all that matters.