Top 56 Jonathan Dunne Quotes
#1. Unicorns are for those who aren't content with the wonders this world holds...not that I've seen any of it.
Jonathan Dunne
#2. In that brief kiss, Arthur's demigod had abandoned him.
Jonathan Dunne
#3. I recall when this place was a good 'n honest community hall with a great sense of place and pride but now it's just a hall and fuck the community.
Jonathan Dunne
#4. The circus is the perfect business right now because parents want their kids to be kids and not Charley Bucket drinking cabbage soup all day.
Jonathan Dunne
#6. You're wrong about one thing: fairy-tales do exist. Millions of existing parents read existing fairy-tales every night from existing books to kids who, funnily enough...'
'... exist, yeah, I know. I mean it's fantasy, not reality.
Jonathan Dunne
#7. Time will always have the answer in the end, whether you like that answer is immaterial to Time because it tends not to keep friends.
Jonathan Dunne
#8. But some jokes are hilarious until they become true and they're not so funny anymore.
Jonathan Dunne
#9. Revenge is a dish best served cold but Mama prefers to serve it with hot gravy, potatoes, and roast turkey.
Jonathan Dunne
#10. Thank you. This kimono was handmade by the Chinese silkworms themselves, I'm led to believe.
Jonathan Dunne
#11. Sarah is a mirage after all; an oasis in this arid, amnesiac, desert mindscape. I fear if I get too close she too will turn to dust.
Jonathan Dunne
#12. I met a few chimpanzees on my pilgrimages and I wasn't sure if they were just shrivelled-up villagers or chimps...
Jonathan Dunne
#13. My son's got the I.Q. Of a robot but I don't have the dough to send him to school.
Jonathan Dunne
#14. Gonzo, the enlightened hippy-biker island god, was a hermit in every sense of the word; a hermit crab and this island was his shell.
Jonathan Dunne
#15. I don't believe he was made in China, but I do believe he is disposable.
Jonathan Dunne
#16. A pipe? A pipe?! Your mother would turn in her grave if she knew she'd spawned a daughter who smokes a pipe! Your poor mama was a pure lady. Prim and ladylike. She smoked menthol cigarettes, now that's feminine.
Jonathan Dunne
#17. Everest, son, remember when I told you that asking questions is a sign of weakness?
Jonathan Dunne
#19. And that's the best thing about this crazy journey: I am forgetting that I'm an old man instead of the Alzheimer's reminding me by forgetting
Jonathan Dunne
#20. Father has a fear of flying since that aeroplane crashed into his bedroom.
Jonathan Dunne
#22. Your body isn't really yours, Jackie boy. Your body is mine and I'm claiming squatter's rights.
Jonathan Dunne
#23. So how do you know she was a mermaid if you didn't see her bottom half?
Jonathan Dunne
#24. Opposites attract, mom.'
'Yes, but in your case, darling, it is hydrogen and oxygen, and we all know what happened the Hindenberg.'
Just in case their daughter wasn't aware of the ill-fated zeppelin, Lambert clarified: 'This too will end in flames.
Jonathan Dunne
#25. Marvin wasn't a beat-box gangsta-rapper-bitch, but a stressed invalid in a town not equipped with ramps.
Jonathan Dunne
#27. Payback takes many forms but from the business-end of a Christmas turkey isn't a form I would've bet on...
Jonathan Dunne
#28. They had taken see-no-evil and had made it their own by adopting a state sanctioned Orwellian see-no-evil policy
Jonathan Dunne
#29. Lately, their love had been reduced to yellow emojis.
Jonathan Dunne
#30. The only time we stopped having nightmares was while we slept.
Jonathan Dunne
#31. Why did you call me Jack of Hearts?'
'Because you like to gamble girls' hearts and play them close to your chest.
Jonathan Dunne
#32. See this Swiss army knife, Lawless! It's gotta magnifying glass and a million blades but I only need one, so step right the fuck back!
Jonathan Dunne
#33. Earth is such a sweet 'n sour place, thought Gonzo, puffing on his seaweed roll-up, and he knew that if aliens did exist, then they'd probably only stop to avail of this planet's toilet facilities on the intergalactic highway.
Jonathan Dunne
#34. I'll buy Chiquita bananas with your smoking-fund money cos this monkey is our future. All hail the monkey!
Jonathan Dunne
#35. Mama, rest in pieces, used to call it Dada's hibernation because sometimes people don't wake up from a coma.
Jonathan Dunne
#36. Maybe blow-up dolls invaded Ireland during the Dark Ages, landing in the bay here. They raped the men and pillaged the women, adopted the children to imprint their rubbery ways on them, turning them into blow-up orphans. Hence,' she concludes, 'Dollymount Strand.
Jonathan Dunne
#37. Except that, very rarely, when the sun shines on her in the same way the sun's rays light up the inside of Stonehenge once a year, Jack finds Ruthy mesmerising.
Jonathan Dunne
#38. Nicky, the van's on fire!'
'Fuck the van, Willy! We got ourselves a prodigy child!
Jonathan Dunne
#40. The Russian Dolls would sue a snowman for sexual harassment if they thought the sun would stay away.
Jonathan Dunne
#41. Ruthy's got the curves of the Scalextric he had once gotten for Christmas.
Jonathan Dunne
#42. Be careful of what you wish for because sometimes it just might come untrue.
Jonathan Dunne
#43. Watching copulating dung-beetles is exciting if you drink enough Red Bull, Jack.
Jonathan Dunne
#44. If mysterious means a bunch of freaks being brought together by a freak car-accident, then, yes, God does vork in mysterious vays' declared the eldest Russian Doll.
Jonathan Dunne
#45. A chimpanzee is not the same category as a capuchin - chimps are half-human. I need a chimp and his name is going to be Bertie.
Jonathan Dunne
#47. I try to dig deep into my memory vault but my memory fault is all I find.
Jonathan Dunne
#48. Everest is a big, pretentious name for a new-born. But would Dympna have named her only son Everest if she had known that he would be a fat albino boy? The comparisons with the snow-covered mountain peak are startling, to be fair.
Jonathan Dunne
#49. And before you make any judgments, that time you were trying out your king-size with the sales assistant doesn't count as getting a man into bed.
Jonathan Dunne
#50. The closest Apollo had ever come to expressing an interest in the opposite sex was the door signs of public bathrooms.
Jonathan Dunne
#51. I don't see hair when I see your mohawk. I see attitude.
Jonathan Dunne
#52. Sometimes I regret going into that public toilet with your father.'
'Then practice safe sex, Mama!!'
'We were! There was a fight in the bar and we took cover in the public toilets!!
Jonathan Dunne
#53. She is the clock-guardian. I was thinking about getting a German Shepherd, but they don't blow fire.
Jonathan Dunne
#54. My old man always told me never do anything during the day that will keep you awake at night.
Jonathan Dunne
#55. My old man always told me to retrace my steps, but what's the point if I can't remember where my feet are, let alone my footsteps...
Jonathan Dunne
#56. Instead of leaving on a gas-guzzling generator all night, Mama and Papa make a killing by making hard 'n fast love like a couple of blinded down-'n-out mixamatosis rabbits with nothing to live for.
Jonathan Dunne
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