Top 32 Joe E. Lewis Quotes
#1. The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.
Joe E. Lewis
#2. I know a lot more old drunks than old doctors.
Joe E. Lewis
#3. I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster.
Joe E. Lewis
#4. Boys, I have been rich and I have been poor, and believe me being rich is better.
Joe E. Lewis
#5. There's only one thing money won't buy, and that is poverty.
Joe E. Lewis
#6. Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my Scotch, I say I'm thirsty, not dirty.
Joe E. Lewis
#7. I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.
Joe E. Lewis
#8. I'm still chasing girls. I don't remember what for, but I'm still chasing them.
Joe E. Lewis
#9. I don't drink any more than the man next to me, and the man next to me is Dean Martin.
Joe E. Lewis
#10. I met with an accident on the way to the track; I arrived safely.
Joe E. Lewis
#11. Adlai Stevenson has a genius for saying the right thing, at the right time, to the wrong people.
Joe E. Lewis
#12. I've been on such a losing streak that if I had been around I would have taken General Custer and given points.
Joe E. Lewis
#13. A man is never drunk if he can lay on the floor without holding on.
Joe E. Lewis
#14. It pays to get drunk with the best people.
Joe E. Lewis
#15. Show me a man with very little money and I will show you a bum.
Joe E. Lewis
#17. I would take a bomb, but I can't stand the noise.
Joe E. Lewis
#18. If you want to make a dangerous man your friend, let him do you a favor.
Joe E. Lewis
#19. I don't like money actually, but it quiets the nerves.
Joe E. Lewis
#20. Rooting for the Yankees is like rooting for U.S. Steel.
Joe E. Lewis
#21. Show me a friend in need and I'll show you a pest.
Joe E. Lewis
#22. You are only young once, and if you work it right, once is enough.
Joe E. Lewis
#24. I don't drink anymore - just the same amount.
Joe E. Lewis
#25. I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I had lost exactly two weeks.
Joe E. Lewis
#27. They had me on the operating table all day. They looked into my stomach, my gall bladder, they examined everything inside of me. Know what they decided? I need glasses.
Joe E. Lewis
#28. I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.
Joe E. Lewis
#29. You can lead a horse to water, but if you can get him to roll over and float on his back, then you got something!
Joe E. Lewis
#30. It doesn't matter whether you are rich or poor - as long as you've got money.
Joe E. Lewis
#31. Show me a man with both feet on the ground and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants on.
Joe E. Lewis
#32. If you drink like a fish, don't drive: swim.
Joe E. Lewis
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