Top 29 Jeremy Robert Johnson Quotes
#3. The bodies of a man and his dog fused together, skin and fur melded. Nobody wanted to die alone.
Jeremy Robert Johnson
#4. Man, Books & Booze is cool, right?. That's the most fun I've had in an interview this year. Definitely the most singing I've done.
Jeremy Robert Johnson
#5. The money buys the drugs, the drugs work harder and harder to trick your blackened dopamine receptors into giving a damn about living. At some point you make a choice: fight your need the rest of your goddamned long-suffering life, or fill your need until it disappears into the grave with you.
Jeremy Robert Johnson
#6. And his dick looks like a hot dog that got hit with a sledgehammer and sewn back together by a blind lady."
"Thanks, Port."
"You're welcome, D.
Jeremy Robert Johnson
#10. I mistakenly believed that my life had finally reached the peak of Crazy Bullshit Mountain. Hindsight
Jeremy Robert Johnson
#12. He's just a guy who got caught up in a bad habit and made a few mistakes at work." "He's
Jeremy Robert Johnson
#13. Took to typing as quickly and loudly as possible and yelling, "I'm in!" when accessing basic programs. Made me feel like a hacker.
Jeremy Robert Johnson
#14. I considered sex work, but then I bent over and looked at my asshole in a mirror. Nobody was going to pay me for access to that thing.
Jeremy Robert Johnson
#15. All of this took about a minute, but time stretches out when you're witnessing an abomination.
Jeremy Robert Johnson
#16. With this blistering salvo of poetic gutshots Lawson has proven himself Bizarro's true bard, its mad laureate. Switching from dark whimsy to retina-blast shock to political outrage without missing a beat, The Troublesome Amputee is a powerful collection of pitch-black verse.
Jeremy Robert Johnson
#17. They'd insert a probe into the patient's head to press the nodule and the patient's immediate response would be to shout out, "FUCK IT! WHY NOT?
Jeremy Robert Johnson
#19. Exactly how long can you stand on a street corner showing two drug dealers your scar-tissue-induced radical penis curvature? The answer is twelve seconds. After that it feels weird.
Jeremy Robert Johnson
#20. Don't worry. These cowboys are all in line. Nice, law-abiding batch here, only want to help you reach your dreams. They're nothing like that last group who rolled through town with branding irons and rape-trusses and shotguns. These are the good guys.
Jeremy Robert Johnson
#21. The terrible loop began on a Tuesday and didn't end until the day I saw a skullcracker swallow the brain of a bank-hired assassin.
Jeremy Robert Johnson
#22. collected promotional mugs for all eight of the banks which collapsed beneath me. I lined them up in each new cubicle like heads on poles outside of a cannibal village. My resume was a graveyard of once powerful institutions.
Jeremy Robert Johnson
#23. Well, you put a gun to my head."
"No. I put a suggestion in your mind and a gun in your hands.
Jeremy Robert Johnson
#25. But my social circle had dwindled. Hell, all I had was a social dot - just me on a one man continuum.
Jeremy Robert Johnson
#26. I considered going off grid, but where was "off grid" anymore that didn't require me to know how to kill an elephant seal and live off its blubber?
Jeremy Robert Johnson
#28. Somewhere, floating in a muddled abstraction beyond your existence as a generally good person, are the Externalities. Fuck 'em and God Bless 'em.
Jeremy Robert Johnson
#29. I wasn't a hoarder, but I knew my place gave off a Feral Child Hidey Hole vibe.
Jeremy Robert Johnson
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