Jeff Smith Quotes

#1. Scallops are expensive, so they should be treated with some class. But then, I suppose that every creature that gives his life for our table should be treated with class.

Jeff Smith

#2. That's right, kid. Never play an ace if a two will do.

Jeff Smith

#3. Please, comrade! I just want to chop him up for the stew!'
'And that's another thing! I'm tired of stew! I want to put him in a crust and bake a light fluffy quiche!'
'QUICHE?! What kind of food is THAT for a monster to eat?!

Jeff Smith

#4. Fear is the number one reason why people never live up to their potential.

Jeff Smith

#5. It's good to do something for Americans for once.

Jeff Smith

#6. All kids draw some kind of cartoon characters. They just grow out of them, and I didn't

Jeff Smith

#7. How can people say they don't eat eggplant when God loves the color and the French love the name? I don't under'stand.

Jeff Smith

#8. Upon your feet you have ten toes, they look just like PO-TA-TOES!

Jeff Smith

#9. In the evolution of a town, neighborhood, or community, there comes a point when the decisions of the past, the conditions of the present, and the prospects for the future collide.

Jeff Smith

#10. Prisoners learn how to make do with less, and many of them want to take this ingenuity that they've learned to the outside ... but there's no training, nothing to prepare them for that.

Jeff Smith

#11. I'm so hungry, comrade! It has been days since we ate those two raccoons!'
'I know comrade. I'm even beginning to wish we had some of your homemade quiche!'
'Oh comrade! Do you mean it?'
'Hey
Hey! None of that! If you ever tell anyone I said that, I'll deny it!

Jeff Smith

#12. Omit and substitute! That's how recipes should be written. Please don't ever get so hung up on published recipes that you forget that you can omit and substitute.

Jeff Smith

#13. Frugal doesn't mean cheap. Frugal means that you don't waste anything.

Jeff Smith

#14. Slaves were taught to be fine chefs, but they endangered their lives if they made a mistake or served an ill-prepared dish. Rather than being reprimanded, they were often hauled into the dining room and flogged in the presence of the guests.

Jeff Smith

#15. Phoney: Here's your problem Fone Bone! We're off the map! Get a bigger map!

Jeff Smith

#16. The way I feel about it is: Beat me or feed me, but don't tease me. It's toy food; who needs it? Serve it to toy people.

Jeff Smith

#17. I bid you peace - said at the end of every TV episode of The Frugal Gourmet

Jeff Smith

#18. Prepared and fast foods have given us the time and freedom to see cooking as an art form - a form of creative expression.

Jeff Smith

#19. I think people have a little wall they throw up real quick if they see swords and sorcery.

Jeff Smith

#20. Serve this dish with much too much wine for your guests, along with some cooked green vegetables and a huge salad. You will be famous in about half an hour.

Jeff Smith

#21. Most seafoods should be simply threatened with heat and then celebrated with joy.

Jeff Smith

#22. The design process, at its best, integrates the aspirations of art, science, and culture.

Jeff Smith

#23. - The earth hums?
- Of course it does. What a stupid question! Don't you hear it?

Jeff Smith

#24. Stupid, Stupid Rat Creatures!

Jeff Smith

#25. I never graduated, but I was kind of floating between journalism and art, because neither one wanted to claim me, as a cartoonist.

Jeff Smith

#26. The squid is so cooperative. Its body forms a tube that can be stuffed with marvelous fillings. You don't have to be Greek to enjoy this one.

Jeff Smith

#27. Feasting is also closely related to memory. We eat certain things in a particular way in order to remember who we are. Why else would you eat grits in Madison, New Jersey?

Jeff Smith

#28. I prefer the Chinese method of eating. You can do anything at the table except arm wrestle.

Jeff Smith

#29. Please understand the reason why Chinese vegetables taste so good. It is simple. The Chinese do not cook them, they just threaten them!

Jeff Smith

#30. Smiley Bone: You can't feel safe unless there's something to be safe against!
Phoney Bone: Exactly! People like to be victims! There's a certain unassailable moral superiority about it ...

Jeff Smith

#31. If we keep him for ourselves, we can do anything we want with him!'
'OH, REALLY?! Does that include baking him in a quiche?!'
'NO, IT DOES NOT INCLUDE THAT! IT INCLUDES EATING HIM RAW!'
'That's too bad. He would've made a fine pastry filling.

Jeff Smith

#32. [We need] to nurture the entrepreneurial spirit and the tremendous untapped potential in our prisons.

Jeff Smith

#33. I attended the Columbus College Of Art & Design for a little while, until I realized they didn't take cartooning very seriously.

Jeff Smith

#34. As I got into the animation, as I learned more about the business, I learned that you need a lot of people to do anything animated - even a short, let alone a feature film. And you need a lot of money.

Jeff Smith

#35. CONTROL MYSELF?!! I'm a MONSTER! Monsters don't control themselves! That's the whole IDEA!

Jeff Smith

#36. That's right, kid. Never play an ace when a two will do.

Jeff Smith