Harland Williams Quotes

#1. I love the theater of the mind because you can go anywhere. You can say anything, and you pull people in. [You] can be jumping out of a window or riding a cow or having bubble-wrap sex or spraying your body with Pam and sliding out of your chair.

Harland Williams

#2. I used to do little sketches into my cassette tape recorder when I was a little boy. I would just turn it on and just start doing voices and characters. I just loved it.

Harland Williams

#3. I think a lot of people think I'm doing kind of a character onstage, but what you're really getting is just me.

Harland Williams

#4. Pumpkins are the only living organisms with triangle eyes.

Harland Williams

#5. I hate when you go into a nice restaurant - someplace where you're going to spend good money - and there are kids in there crying.

Harland Williams

#6. The thing is, you never know with any movie how it's going to turn out. It's always a mystery - you'll do pages and pages of scenes that will never make it onto the screen.

Harland Williams

#7. Everything's a conspiracy and everything's not a conspiracy. You could look at this planet and go, "This is all a conspiracy. God made this to test us to see if we'll use the nukes." You can let your mind believe anything.

Harland Williams

#8. I try to take normal things - whether it's a serious subject or something as obscure as a piece of toast - and put a very weird twist on them.

Harland Williams

#9. I'd done a ton of movies here in Hollywood, and I realized that every movie I'd done was somebody's else's work and someone else's vision.

Harland Williams

#10. I don't go on tour tours - I just go randomly to cities to do shows if I have an opening in my schedule.

Harland Williams

#11. Executives and studios really like to have control over their product. They panic or they're not secure enough to trust in the powers of really amazing improv people.

Harland Williams

#12. If you're going to take a jab at someone, you should at least have a bit more of a personal relationship with them. I feel like you can be funny and clever, as opposed to just outright vile.

Harland Williams

#13. In 'There's Something About Mary' and 'Dumb & Dumber,' I ended up improvising quite a bit of my scenes, and later I didn't even remember what I'd said because I just winged it. When I went and saw the movie, I was as stunned as everyone else was.

Harland Williams

#14. I'm an American citizen now, but I will always have Canadian pride.

Harland Williams

#15. I think people should maybe just go out into the garden and watch a ladybug crawl across a flower and relax their mind. That's about all you need to know about life, I think.

Harland Williams

#16. My roots are in stand-up, and stand-up is very freeing. There's no script involved; you just fly.

Harland Williams

#17. What's interesting about Stephen Baldwin is that me and Dana Gould were originally cast for 'Bio-Dome' - but Pauly Shore and Baldwin ended up doing it. So there's a little movie trivia for ya.

Harland Williams

#18. The problem with binge-watching on Netflix is that you lose three days of your life.

Harland Williams

#19. I'd like to explore the more abstract side of people's minds, as opposed to the usual sitcom stuff. I don't want to do the typical sitcom-type humor. I'd want to do stuff like go bowling with pineapples.

Harland Williams

#20. Without sounding negative, I'm not a huge fan of a lot of stand-up. I'm more interested in an absurd kind of theater.

Harland Williams

#21. It was such a pleasure to work with Eugene Levy. What a treat. That's a guy I grew up watching as a kid. Guys like that, they were hilarious and didn't have to be super vile or X-rated.

Harland Williams

#22. I just tried to create a life for myself that's full of fun and fantasy and things that equal laughter. My life's been cartoons and comedy and acting, and it's just been a fun life, man.

Harland Williams

#23. I sort of write onstage. I'll throw an idea out there, like Home Depot, and just start talking about it.

Harland Williams

#24. I don't laugh so much at jokes and premises as I do at a guy who goes onstage and starts twitching and acting funny.

Harland Williams

#25. I get a lot of people telling me that I'd make a good 'wacky neighbor.' I wouldn't mind that, if it was a starting-off point.

Harland Williams

#26. The thing I love about sketch is sometimes it leads you as opposed to you leading it.

Harland Williams

#27. I love seafood. Whenever I'm in Las Vegas, I love going to the Bellagio buffet because they have these great king crab legs.

Harland Williams

#28. If you were to come out and hang out with me, just having fun at a nightclub or a party, that's kind of the version of Harland you'd get - silly, kind of always saying wacky things.

Harland Williams

#29. I grew up on Don Knotts and Jerry Lewis and all the guys from Second City.

Harland Williams

#30. I always improvise with the crowd. Sometimes it will be a 50 percent show, sometimes 70 percent, sometimes it's almost a whole show where I wing it. It depends on my mood, the energy in the room. For sure, a portion of it is just kind of winging it.

Harland Williams

#31. I think life would be so much funnier if every day you saw someone walking down the street getting hit in the head by a monkey, don't you?

Harland Williams

#32. I was walking around bored one day, and I started filming stuff with my cellphone. There are all these shows where people are trying to do these outrageous stunts, and I thought it would be funny to do all these stunts that aren't outrageous but then act like they are.

Harland Williams