Gyles Brandreth Quotes

#1. On the Conservative-Liberal Democrat coalition government: I think it should be made clear that the Conservatives and the Liberal Democrats, they have not got into bed together; they are merely sharing a room.

Gyles Brandreth

#2. If you'd spent your life being called "Gyles Brandreth", you would crawl across broken glass to achieve the bliss, the simplicity, the purity, the joy of simply being called "Bob".

Gyles Brandreth

#3. When men give up saying what is charming," Oscar answered, "they give up thinking what is charming. I hope I'll never do that.

Gyles Brandreth

#4. John Major. He dresses so well. And so quickly.

Gyles Brandreth

#5. both were writers of high ambition, with

Gyles Brandreth

#6. In the Members' Dining Room, the Conservatives eat at one end, the Labour Party at the other, while the Liberals wait at table.

Gyles Brandreth

#7. Every Holmes must have his Watson

Gyles Brandreth

#8. Oscar sat back and looked at me appraisingly. "I need to think. And to think I must have oysters and champagne.

Gyles Brandreth

#9. Gazing at the typewriter in moments of desperation I console myself with three thoughts. Alcohol at six, dinner at eight, and to be immortal you've got to be dead.

Gyles Brandreth

#10. In life there are two types of people: those who catch the waiter's eye and those who don't.

Gyles Brandreth

#11. As a politician, you only meet two types of people. People with problems, and people who are right.

Gyles Brandreth

#12. One should always be suspicious of a woman who tells you that her past was burnt in the flames of a schoolhouse in Peshawar.

Gyles Brandreth

#13. Praise makes me humble, but when I am abused, I know that I have touched the stars.

Gyles Brandreth

#14. He loved what he did, he loved being on Countdown - he just loved life

Gyles Brandreth

#15. If God had meant us to go metric, why did he give Christ twelve apostles?

Gyles Brandreth

#16. You'll recall," said Sickert, brushing dust from his trousers with the back of his hand, "that a year or two ago I was chased through the back streets of King's Cross by a posse of prostitutes all crying 'Jack the Ripper!' after me.

Gyles Brandreth

#17. Life's aim, if it has one, is to be always looking for temptations - and there are not nearly enough of them, I find. I sometimes pass the whole day without coming across a single one. It makes one so nervous about the future.

Gyles Brandreth

#18. As you will be aware, gentlemen, I have made it my life's work to entertain the working classes, enrage the middle classes, and fascinate the aristocracy - but I do believe I've just met my match. Accrington 'Arry here is in a class of his own, beyond my reach.

Gyles Brandreth