George S. Kaufman Quotes & Sayings

#1. Epitaph for a dead waiter - God finally caught his eye.

#2. I've never had any complaints yet!

#3. I understand your new play is full of single entendres.

#4. When I was born I owed twelve dollars.

#5. God finally caught his eye.

#6. At dramatic rehearsals, the only author that's better than an absent one is a dead one.

#7. You can't fool me. There ain't no Sanity Claus!

#8. When I invite a woman to dinner, I expect her to look at my face. That's the price she has to pay.

#9. Satire is what closes on Saturday night.

#10. There was laughter in the back of the theater, leading to the belief that someone was telling jokes back there.

#11. Office hours are from 12 to 1 with an hour off for lunch.

#12. You've heard of people living in a fool's paradise? Well, Leonora has a duplex there.

#13. The kind of doctor I want is one who when he's not examining me is home studying medicine.

#14. I like terra firma; the more firma, the less terra.

#15. KIRBY: A man can't give up his business.
GRANDPA: Why not? You've got all the money you need. You can't take it with you.

George S. Kaufman Quotes