Chuck Lorre Quotes

#1. I believe that the Laws of Karma do not apply to show business, where good things happen to bad people on a fairly regular basis.

Chuck Lorre

#2. It's safe to talk openly and honestly with people because they're not really listening.

Chuck Lorre

#3. For the record, I do have genitals; and they are functional and aesthetically pleasing.

Chuck Lorre

#4. Don't forget that you are the product of a culture that went stark raving mad about ten thousand years ago. Adjust your thinking accordingly.

Chuck Lorre

#5. I am a man of science, not someone's snuggle-bunny!

Chuck Lorre

#6. I believe I'm growing skeptical of cynicism.

Chuck Lorre

#7. That's a discovery process. That's the terrifying and wonderful part about getting picked up to series. You get to develop the stories and talk about the characters, and find out where the heart of the series is.

Chuck Lorre

#8. I believe that the obsessive worship of movie, TV and sports figures is less likely to produce spiritual gain than praying to Thor.

Chuck Lorre

#9. People who write poisonous things about your work are using up precious moments of their life dwelling on yours. These are moments they will never get back. Let that be a comfort to you.

Chuck Lorre

#10. If Charlie Sheen outlives me, I'm gonna be really pissed.

Chuck Lorre

#11. For every man that ever walked the Earth, except maybe the sociopaths, when it comes to talking to pretty girls ... it's just stark terror.

Chuck Lorre

#12. I am wired on some deep level to seek out something to be worried and obsess about.

Chuck Lorre

#13. According to the rules of comedy, your suffering will be funny after an undetermined length of time. Maybe not while you're having your gangrenous leg sawed off, watching your home burn down or learning how to be intimate with your cellmate, but, in the big scheme of things, soon.

Chuck Lorre

#14. What exactly does that expression mean, 'friends with benefits'? Does he provide her with health insurance?

Chuck Lorre

#15. Is my coitus whimsically inventive?

Chuck Lorre

#16. I won't say that all senior citizens who can't master technology should be publicly flogged, but if we made an example of one or two, it might give the others incentive to try harder.

Chuck Lorre

#17. Love, sex, food, friendship, art, play, beauty and the simple pleasure of a cup of tea are all well and good, but never forget that God/the universe is determined to kill you by whatever means necessary.

Chuck Lorre

#18. I'm an old guitar player who has fallen into television and is so happy he did.

Chuck Lorre

#19. Life is never quite like the brochure.

Chuck Lorre