C. Terry Warner Quotes

#1. Still is just the right way to be. You rise in the morning to go about your day. You remember a friend who has troubles. You don't quibble with yourself about whether to call her; you don't write a reminder on your Palm Pilot or in your planner to make the call tomorrow. You just call. Simple.

C. Terry Warner

#2. Our humanity consists in our ability to sense and respect and respond to the humanity of others.

C. Terry Warner

#3. We influence others most profoundly when we do not seek to change them at all, but simply go about straightforwardly doing the right and loving thing.

C. Terry Warner

#4. When it comes to seeking a change of heart, our starting place must include our present situation, with the people we live with right here and now. It is with these very people that we must learn to forgo all taking of offense.

C. Terry Warner

#5. When we criticize people, their consciences console them. When we love them, their consciences indict them.

C. Terry Warner

#6. Some things are only real because they represent what we think. When we learn the truth and think it, the old reality is no longer real to us and loses its hold on us. The truth sets us free.

C. Terry Warner

#7. Honest self-understanding liberates us from our stuck emotions.

C. Terry Warner

#8. Self-betrayal occurs when we do to another what we sense we should not do or don't do what we sense we should. Thus self-betrayal is a sort of moral self-compromise, a violation of our own personal sense of how we ought to be and what we ought to do.

C. Terry Warner

#9. Our insensitivity as self-betrayers is best described not as attending to ourselves rather than to others, but rather as attending to others for our sake rather than for their sake.

C. Terry Warner

#10. There is no better means of promoting another person's change of heart than allowing our own heart to be changed.

C. Terry Warner

#11. There is a vast difference between living according to one's idea of what it is to be good, and actually being that way.

C. Terry Warner

#12. In a self-betraying condition, how we present ourselves unavoidably becomes of the focus of our concern, and we mistakenly confuse it with how we really are.

C. Terry Warner

#13. Living in the box means being convinced that other people and our circumstances are responsible for our feelings and our helplessness to overcome them.

C. Terry Warner

#14. Three aspects of the self betrayer's conduct always go together: accusing others, excusing oneself, and displaying oneself as a victim.

C. Terry Warner

#15. Did I love what I was doing, or did I love myself in doing it?

C. Terry Warner

#16. Who we are is how we are in relation to others

C. Terry Warner

#17. The self-help movement that began in the latter half of the twentieth century suffers particularly from this flaw, for the personal and interpersonal skills it seeks to cultivate are almost always designed to get us more of what we think we want, rather than to bring about a change of heart.

C. Terry Warner