Brian P. Cleary Quotes

#1. In writing I found something I could do at least as well as my peers, if not better.

Brian P. Cleary

#2. If I have a talent for making some fourth-grader who hates school and reading to hate it a little less, then I have to do the most with what I've been issued.

Brian P. Cleary

#3. If a couple has their picture taken at a wedding or other social gathering, and the woman looks hot, her guy could be blinking, chewing, or even mid-sneeze, and she'll still display it on her desk at work.

Brian P. Cleary

#4. Not only is love blind, it's a little hard of hearing.

Brian P. Cleary

#5. Kids enjoy laughing and are seldom bored when they find something funny. They also ask questions, often to adults, because they understand that the more words they can comprehend about a funny story or a joke, the more they'll enjoy it.

Brian P. Cleary

#6. When a kid can understand that a word can mean two things, there's some real thinking going on. They have a vested interest in finding out what a word means, because it's the punch line to a joke.

Brian P. Cleary

#7. Any cupcake consumed before 9AM is, technically, a muffin.

Brian P. Cleary

#8. Whatever story you're telling, it will be more interesting if, at the end you add, and then everything burst into flames.

Brian P. Cleary

#9. There's no such thing as free kittens.

Brian P. Cleary

#10. Children are like sponges; they start to smell after a little while.

Brian P. Cleary

#11. When a kid says "smell my hand," it almost never smells like cinnamon.

Brian P. Cleary

#12. These are books that want to be read out loud. These are books kids share with each other, and I think that's important.

Brian P. Cleary

#13. I like all things grammatical, and I had already written several books about parts of speech, and even the alphabet, so everything that makes up a sentence and even a word was covered except for punctuation.

Brian P. Cleary

#14. A good friend will help you plant your tulips. A great friend will help you plant a gun on the unarmed intruder you just shot.

Brian P. Cleary

#15. It's not technically gossip if you start your sentence with "I'm really concerned about ," (fill in the name of the person you're not gossiping about).

Brian P. Cleary

#16. You want a story? Read 'Gone With the Wind'. These aren't stories. They're joke books. The whole thing of a beginning, a middle and an end has been done to death.

Brian P. Cleary

#17. Our cat is kind dove shellfish, and thinks the world is hers, She finds a comfy spot and then we pet turtle sheep purrs.

Brian P. Cleary

#18. I love the semicolon; it's unnecessary, but graceful and sophisticated.

Brian P. Cleary

#19. If you treat what you value most in life more like a garden and less like a vending machine, you'll probably be happier. (from You Oughta Know By Now)

Brian P. Cleary

#20. It's perfectly okay if you don't understand every single one of them. For one thing, I make a lot of corny jokes, and you have to be 40 years old to get some of them.

Brian P. Cleary