Bernard Manning Quotes & Sayings

#1. I've got cheekier with age. You can get away with murder when you're 71 years old. People just think I'm a silly old fool.

#2. We used to sleep five to a bed and three of them used to wet the bed. I learnt to swim before I could walk.

#3. You are what you eat ... I've eaten so many fat cunts you wouldn't believe

#4. I once got sacked for laughing ... mind you, I was driving a hearse at the time.

#5. If you want to drink, have a drink ... if you want to drive, then drive ... there's nothing worse than having a smash sober ...

#6. I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat - because she is of reasonable size, and I care about her and her self-image.

#7. I'm glad I'm not bisexual. I couldn't stand being rejected by men as well as women.

#8. I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a a note on it saying, toys not included.

Bernard Manning Quotes